The Wedding - Decisions Decisions

It was a warm summer evening, and W and I were taking a walk in the park across from my house. And we revisited THE question once again. The question in question being "do we tie the knot or not?". After 7 years of a beautiful friendship, and being there for each other through thick and thin, it was time for us to decide if we wanted to walk our separate ways or take the big step together. We were quickly running out of time. The last few months had been spent on a bit of soul-searching and our minds were finally made up. We wanted to get married and all that was left to do was say it aloud to each other. On that day, we did (I know I'm not making this sound very romantic without all the details. However, there are some things that are too personal even for a blogger, don't you think?). Having made this decision, you would think everything else would just fall in place. What we were about to learn is that this was just the first in a series of decisions we would have to make over the next few months.

The first thing to do, ofcourse, was to inform our families. This went quite smoothly. As it turned out, both sides were expecting this for a while. However, a wedding between a Sindhi family settled in Gujarat and a pakka Tamil Brahmin from the heart of Chennai was always going to be interesting to say the least. So the biggest wedding decision to be made (ofcourse after deciding on who to marry!) was 'what style do we want the wedding in?'. The choices were

1. A Tamil Iyer style wedding where I sit almost naked - well topless - while my chest hair is getting all burnt and frizzy by the proximity of a fire that deserves a fire engine to be waiting on call. You and your girl are made to sit on a swing while aunties of different ages throw colorful balls in different directions. You have a day full of somber ceremonies, where the bride is gently nudged if she smiles too much and is reminded that she's supposed to look coy and demure. Okay, okay, I know I'm being too harsh on our wedding style. There are a lot of symbolic and even hilarious occasions in our weddings. The groom walking off in a huff and puff, and the father of the bride running after him to convince him to come back and accept his girl, comes to mind. Such a wedding had to be organized in Chennai, and W's parents and relatives would be completely lost. It will inevitably lead to a lot of misses, finger-pointing, and unavoidable gossipping as is the wont in my extended family circle.

2. Then there is the Sindhi wedding, where a few people go to the Gurudwara, say a few words in front of the Guru Grant and are declared man and wife. Needless to say, my relatives would still be wondering when the wedding was going to happen even while everyone else was on their way to the wedding lunch. And there would be a few questions on why a book needs to be fanned constantly.

What we decided to do was to take a middle path here. We decided to have a plain Hindu wedding which would incorporate most customs that are common to both these communities. And ofcourse, the wedding has to happen in the girls' town. I have to give my kudos here to W's parents for throwing a great wedding preceded by a lot of fun events and accomodating all of my side's requests. And I have to thank my parents for being so sporting and open to other cultures, customs and people.

Once the wedding was decided, and the date was fixed, we had to get on with other decisions. Who're all going to be attending the wedding form my side? how are we getting there? where are we staying? Then followed a series of e-mail exchanges between W's dad, my dad, W and me followed by frantic conversations over the phones and various lists with check marks etc. I had also to make all my travel plans within India, and as regular readers know, this was quite a task. We also had to make our honeymoon plans in Kerala, and decided to place it in between the Baroda and Chennai legs of the wedding. This let us squeeze in a few days while the familes left Baroda and regrouped in Chennai for the reception.

As the days went by, I got my fair share of abuse from 'W' for sitting on my ass and not caring about the wedding etc. Ofcourse, these were completely unfounded. I was at the moment caught between the devil and the deep sea - what with my MBA apping, marathon preparation and wedding plans. W left for India 3 weeks before me to complete her wedding shopping, get her clothes designed, hunt for her solitaire (I just had to write the check!) and in general take a big role in organizing the wedding. Her best friend was with her all the way, taking care of the nitty gritty details that even her parents would have missed.

Things somehow eventually seemed to fall into place. All the flight and train reservations were made. I knew my exact travel plans. W was on top of things in Baroda. I even pampered myself with a CK suit and a couple of expensive dress shoes here before leaving. The hotel accomodations had been finalized both in Baroda and Chennai. The invitations had been printed and distributed. And once again, peace and serenity prevailed in c2cLand.

What was even more surprising was that the whole thing went without hitch. The travel Gods were kind to us and trains and planes started and reached on time (although Ram would have a few things to say about this I'm sure). The weather was perfect. People were in a festive mood. Infact, my parents and I enjoyed a few rounds of Glenfiddich the last 2 nights before the Baroda trip. And there were talks of who's going to bring out the best dance moves. Ofcourse, there was some miscommunication/confusion during the actual wedding ceremony which led to a few funny moments. But I guess those are topics for another day.