Sathanur Days - Part 6: Women and special days
For an introduction to this series, please start here
When I was a kid visiting my native village 'Sathanur' every summer, the house was also filled with women of all sorts - mom, aunts and family friends. The house echoed with their voices, laughters and gossips. But every so often, I used to find one of the women suddenly separate from the pack and sit by herself in a separate room. She was not allowed to cook or pray, steaming hot food would be served to her on a tray, and she could sleep all she wanted. In short, it appeared to be a dream vacation for most of them. This trend usually lasted for 3-4 days after which they would join the regular household and resume their normal lifestyle as if nothing had happened. Only to be replaced by someone else soon after.
After watching this event unfold time and again for several years, I couldn't stand the suspense any longer. So I went over to my best friend Sai's (who was also my neighbor) house and posed the question to his mom. As she tried to light up and flame her primitive stove with a a flute and let out a few coughs, she came up with an explanation. The conversation went something like this:
She: Every so often, God appears in our dreams and asks us to undertake this 3-day separation as a sort of prayer.
Me: But why doesn't God come in my dream, or for that matter, any of the men in my household.
She (with a smile): No, women are special and God appears only in womens' dreams.
Me: But Sugan (my inseparable cousin) has never mentioned anything like that. Doesn't God appear in her dream?
She: You have to be a little grown up before God starts appearing...
By now, I'm kind of satisfied with this explanation and turned my attention to the fresh coconut and jaggary combo that Sai was getting ready for me. When I went back home, I told my grandmom with a smirk that I knew her secret. When I explained to her what I had just learnt, she just smiled, patted me on my back and went on her way. For the next few days, I couldn't help thinking that God was being inherently unfair to us men. After all, wouldn't I like to have such a carefree (pardon the pun!) mini-vacation in the middle of my summer vacation? But soon after, I realized that I wouldn't be able to spend 3 days in the same spot in any case, and so pushed the thought out of my head.
Its amazing how impressionable we are as kids. That conversation with my neighbor, and the resulting image in my head of God appearing and talking to women in their dreams, stayed with me for a long long time. It was only years later that I realized what the 3-day thing was all about. My mind went back to the conversation I had had with my neighbor and realized how ingenious she had been in tackling such a sensitive issue with a hyper-curious kid. No doubt she and my grandmom would have had a good laugh over a glass of sweet lassi that evening...
When I was a kid visiting my native village 'Sathanur' every summer, the house was also filled with women of all sorts - mom, aunts and family friends. The house echoed with their voices, laughters and gossips. But every so often, I used to find one of the women suddenly separate from the pack and sit by herself in a separate room. She was not allowed to cook or pray, steaming hot food would be served to her on a tray, and she could sleep all she wanted. In short, it appeared to be a dream vacation for most of them. This trend usually lasted for 3-4 days after which they would join the regular household and resume their normal lifestyle as if nothing had happened. Only to be replaced by someone else soon after.
After watching this event unfold time and again for several years, I couldn't stand the suspense any longer. So I went over to my best friend Sai's (who was also my neighbor) house and posed the question to his mom. As she tried to light up and flame her primitive stove with a a flute and let out a few coughs, she came up with an explanation. The conversation went something like this:
She: Every so often, God appears in our dreams and asks us to undertake this 3-day separation as a sort of prayer.
Me: But why doesn't God come in my dream, or for that matter, any of the men in my household.
She (with a smile): No, women are special and God appears only in womens' dreams.
Me: But Sugan (my inseparable cousin) has never mentioned anything like that. Doesn't God appear in her dream?
She: You have to be a little grown up before God starts appearing...
By now, I'm kind of satisfied with this explanation and turned my attention to the fresh coconut and jaggary combo that Sai was getting ready for me. When I went back home, I told my grandmom with a smirk that I knew her secret. When I explained to her what I had just learnt, she just smiled, patted me on my back and went on her way. For the next few days, I couldn't help thinking that God was being inherently unfair to us men. After all, wouldn't I like to have such a carefree (pardon the pun!) mini-vacation in the middle of my summer vacation? But soon after, I realized that I wouldn't be able to spend 3 days in the same spot in any case, and so pushed the thought out of my head.
Its amazing how impressionable we are as kids. That conversation with my neighbor, and the resulting image in my head of God appearing and talking to women in their dreams, stayed with me for a long long time. It was only years later that I realized what the 3-day thing was all about. My mind went back to the conversation I had had with my neighbor and realized how ingenious she had been in tackling such a sensitive issue with a hyper-curious kid. No doubt she and my grandmom would have had a good laugh over a glass of sweet lassi that evening...
posted by c2c at Thursday, July 13, 2006
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