Chennai to Chicago

Life is a soap opera

2009-08-27T13:00:00.006-05:00

Ever get that nagging feeling that your life runs like one of those cheesy afternoon soap operas? The story starts with a bunch of friends. We get a peek into their everyday lives - from the monday morning blues to the weekend parties, from the tentative dating scene to the desperate 'bharat matrimonial' obsession, from job changes to MBA aspirations, etc. etc. Throughout all this, the changes are so slow to be almost imperceptible. Since the entire group still hangs out and does the same things (clubs, birthday parties, volleyball games), you would think nothing much is changing. But you would be wrong. Slowly but surely, change is creeping up.

Before you know it, two friends within the group decide to get married. A couple others get engaged. A few more start their MBAs. A few others move away to other cities. Although you promise to stay in touch with each other, you know that those phone calls and e-mails will slow down and stop eventually. Very soon, there are a few more weddings and a few more welcome additions to the group. The weekend jaunts to downtown have all but stopped. Clubs have been replaced with home parties. Takeout pizzas have given way to multi-course home-cooked meals. Then the first baby arrives with much fanfare. A couple more are on their way.

Life and years have such a surreal way of creeping up on you. Very soon, you start saying things like the "thirties are the new twenties"... You attend birthday parties of 20 somethings and wonder who are these people? I was 20 something not too long ago. How did things change so fast? And what do I have to show for my advancing years apart from a receding hairline, slowing metabolism and muscle aches that just refuse to go away?

And you hope you are a better person now than you were 10 years ago. You are thankful for a core group of friends that still enjoy the company of each other, and you know you can rely on when in need. You look at yourself from someone else's eyes and realize you have it good. You are with the person you love the most, you've walked through the hallowed halls of top schools, you are excited about your impending fatherhood.

You finally get it - soap operas are not all that bad. Some lives are full of changes, and some run a steady course punctuated by a few life-changing events. While it might not be absorbing viewing every day of every week of every year, you know you would not have it any other way. You are thankful for what you have.

Profile of an oomai kusumban

2008-05-22T09:34:00.004-05:00

As you all know, the Memorial Day long weekend is coming up. And my wife and I are off to visit my friend Praveen in Denver. Praveen and I go a long way, 1993 to be exact. Its always amazing to me that we know each other for 15 years now. How time seems to fly! It feels like yesterday, when we shared the back benches in class XI C of the Santhome Hr. Sec School, both having moved from other schools. At the outset, Praveen appeared to be this sweet quiet chap, who couldn't bite into a banana even if it were peeled and placed in his mouth (I realize this is a pretty bad metaphor!). But he is what you might call an "oomai kusumban"! And I was this boisterous, rebellious kid in class, always challenging the teacher, class leader and constantly getting admonished. Praveen is one of the funniest guys I've met to this day, and he does this without any apparent effort. He would have these constant barrage of really funny comments and snide remarks to everything that went on in class, and whenever I laughed or tried to retort, I would be caught. Of course, we knew early not to squeal on anyone. So I would take my punishment, while he sat there like a saint with a halo around his head. So, long story short, we hit it off very soon and became very tight friends along with SP and Balaji. The foursome were as different from each other as possible, but this group helped me get through school. While Balaji fell off the radar somewhere along, the rest three have been the best of friends ever since.

Since I'm going to be meeting him in a couple of days, I thought I'd take this opportunity to tarnish his 'reputation' a bit here. While there are plenty of experiences to recount, there are always a few key moments in any relationship that stand out. And we can never forget them for the rest of our lives, even if we tried. So here are my top Praveen moments...

The Mylapore bakery incident: There was this iyengaar bakery on kutchery road, where the veggie puffs seemed to have fallen from heaven. Every once so often, we would stop here for a bite and then cross the road for a fruit shake at 'Senthil Softie'. Usually, I was the one who picked up the tab. On this particular day, Praveen strutted up to me and said "machan! I'll treat you to a puff and a shake", and I couldn't believe my ears. Not wanting to postpone this auspicious and scarcely believable development, we immediately set off to our favorite haunt. We both picked up a puff and bit into them, enjoying the rich flavor and aroma and the heavenly spice. When we were done eating and cleaned our hands on our shirts, it was time to pay the bill. I stood aside and let Praveen do the honors. He digged into his pocket, then the other pocket, his back pocket and everything in between! After what seemed an eternity, he slowly turned to me and said "machan! I think I forgot my wallet". I could literally hear glass shattering in the background like that old Nokia ad. Luckily, I had some money on me. So muttering pretty damaging expletives under my breath and paid up. When we were done, he had the gall to ask me for a fruit shake, knowing fully well I had to pay for that as well. And of course, I had to buy him the damned shake across the street. While he has more than made up for this by way of many treats, I still haven't let him forgot his generous 'treat' incident to this day...

The cricket runout incident: We were playing the inter-section cricket tournament in Santhome. From the start of the tournament, I was in outstandig form. I would walk in to open the batting, and would finish off games before you could say "over-a scene vidatha!". We moved to the finals where we ran into the over-thadi favorites, Section A, consisting of the biology students, apparently the best and the brightest in school and the toast of the teachers and principal. We were chasing a steep total, and I was again in very good form. But I was losing partners quickly on the other end. Soon, Praveen joined me in the middle. Because we had won the other games with ease, the middle and lower orders hadn't got much practice and this was Praveen's first foray into the middle. I nudged a wicked delivery to the leg side, and started running for a single while watching the ball. Midway down the pitch, I turned to the non-striker's side and saw Praveen still rooted to his spot, panick in his eyes. I literally pleaded with him to run. At this point, Praveen fully knew one of us was going to be run out. I could hear the wheels in his brain churning - one of the few times it has - and after what seemed like eternity, he reluctantly started jogging down the pitch. And yes, he was run out without facing a ball. It was a supreme act of self-sacrifice, and would have remained so, if he didn't keep bringing this up frequently in our conversations to this day, especially when he needs a favor...

Introduction to thanni: Years after this, we both came to the US for our Masters - me in Chicago and Praveen in God-forsaken Oklahoma. We were both busy with settling into our new lives, and it was about a year later that we decided to meet up. Praveen drove in his rickety old car from Oklahoma to Chicago without a single break I think. After a day of sight-seeing, we decided to chill out in my apartment that evening. Praveen had never touched alcohol in his life. And so I took it upon myself to upon the doors to heaven for him. Somehow he agreed to try. Instead of starting with a traditional beer, I brought out a bottle of Absolut vodka. I poured a generous portion with a bit of sprite, and he chugged it up while making a face. I was surprised when he asked for a second round two seconds later. We went on for hours, and I was surprised with how easily he could handle his drink. These days, he is walking the streets of Denver a drunken monkey, drinking alone and hugging strangers. I guess I can take credit for that.

There are many more incidents - sad, poignant, life-changing - that I can remember, but I prefer to stick with the happy ones for now. So here's to life-long friends and unforgettable moments...

Kellogg Diary - Entry #1

2008-05-02T18:51:00.005-05:00

Dear Diary,

The last couple of days have been pretty eventful. On Wednesday, I helped out with the Manufacturing Business Conference (MBC) organized by the MMM class at Kellogg. The topic for the event was 'Differentiation by Design'. We had a great list of keynote speakers and panelists from IDEO, HP, Private Equity Firms, Consulting firms etc. However, the highlight of the conference was undoubtedly the opening keynote by Jim McNerney, the President, Chairman and CEO of the Boeing Company. As far as CEO's go, you can't get bigger than that, can you? Apparently, his nephew is a fellow Kellogg student, his daughter goes to Northwestern, his dad taught at Northwestern, and Jim himself is on the board of trustees for Northwestern. I never get amazed at the elite company I suddenly find myself in.

Following the conference, I went to my 'Managerial Leadership' class taught by Harry Kraemer, the former CEO of Baxter International, a $40+ billion global healthcare company. He is a former Kellogg grad and now is an adjunct professor. This class is one of the most popular ones in Kellogg. Every week, he also invites a guest speaker from the industry. This week was the turn of Chris Galvin, former CEO of Motorola, and another Kellogg alum. The topic of the class was value-based leadership. Mr. Galvin also gave us a blow by blow account of the events that led to his ouster from Motorola by his board, and did not forget to point out the firm's downward trend ever since.

It was a long day. After a few drinks and some pool with a friend, I called it a night. I had to wake up at 6AM the next day to follow a lawn care truck. Yeah, you heard me right! As part of our design course, we have taken on a project to redesign the trucks operated by TruGreen lawncare. The project sort of fell into our hands since these trucks are designed and supplied to them by Wanner Engineering, a privately held firm that belongs to the family of a fellow classmate. What we were doing is called 'shadowing' and is an integral part of the modern design process. It helps to get the customer's perspective, some felt and some unfelt. We had a ton of ideas within a few hours, from redesigning the hose mechanism and spray gun to advertising better on their van to incorporating advanced GPS systems.

Today, a friday, is usually an offday. But I had to drive in to Chicago downtown to meet the clients for a project-based course we are doing. This course is called Management Lab, and is part of the 'experiential' learning most business schools advertise. My project team is helping the Chicago 2016, a non-profit organization set up by the city to bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics, to look at sustainability of their venues after the Olympics. Some of the questions we would address are - can this venue be a sustainable and profitable business post-Olympics? what could be other sources of revenue add-ons? what is the market size, demand and revenue model? etc. I can't tell you much more than that, even to you diary, since we signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement with 2016. So how did we get this project? Well, you've probably figured it by now. The man hand-picked by the mayor for the Olympic effort is Pat Ryan, executive chairman and founder of Aon Corporation and a director of the Chicago Bears. Apparently, he is also the chairman of the board of trustees for Northwestern University. So he's leveraged this connection to get Kellogg on board in the 2016 effort, and our project is part of this effort.

Well, its friday evening, and I'm probably going to check out looptopia with my wife and a bunch of friends. After a hectic week, I do need some R&R.

Is Hillary taking down the Democratic party with her?

2008-04-28T15:21:00.004-05:00

I've never aspired to be a political commentator. In fact, I would be one of the least qualified to talk about the American electoral process, and its repurcussions. But I do follow the general trend. And who are we kidding? This year's presidential elections promises to be one of the most interesting in recent memory. So with that in mind, I wanted to explore something that's been nagging at me for a while now.

Is Hillary taking down the Democratic party with her?

Consider what's been happening so far. From all accounts, Hillary has as much chances of getting the Democratic party nomination as Tim Henman has of winning the Wimbledon. That is, in theory, she can still win. And she has the right to fight it out till there is no theoretical chance of winning. This could take a while to prove. But the more she fights, the longer the democratic primary circus rolls along. And the more it rolls along, the more energy that is sapped out of Obama and Hillary, and the more dirt that is being dug up and thrown by each on the other.

Hillary makes some interesting arguments. She says Obama is outspending her 4:1 or whatever the ratio is, and still not able to take her out. She has a point. However, what she's not telling us is that, in places like Pennsylvania, she had a much bigger lead, that Obama has whittled down in the past few months. Also, if Obama can raise four times as much money as Hillary, it only speaks of his popularity and efficient fund-raising machinery. Both these abilities will serve him very well in the actual elections.

So now the question is where does Hillary draw the line between being selfish and exercising her rights, and doing what's right for the party and its greater good?

This is a hard question, and as a business school student, I find this a very interesting predicament. When books like Jim Collin's 'Good to Great' and Bill George's 'Authentic Leadership' define a true leader of an organization, they talk about someone who puts the greater good of his/her company before his/her own interests. A main ingredient of this quality is when to recognize that you are getting to be a liability for your own firm, instead of being an asset. Great leaders also innately make themselves redundant. That is, they put such capable people and processes in place that the company should never rely on one charismatic CEO.

It appears to me that Hillary is doing the exact opposite of this. Her campaign has pushed the limits of Obama's patience, and taunted him so much that he has had to step down from the lofty perch of dignified politics he had envisioned. They have tested his endurance and made a huge brouhaha on comments taken out of context. In effect, they have prolonged the democratic nomination so much that whoever gets the ticket might not have enough time to fight a well-prepared McCain in the presidential race. All this would be fine if Hillary stood a 50-50 chance. But from all accounts, she doesn't. If she were a truly selfless leader, this is the point she would step aside and stand behind Obama.

A different way of looking at this is that Hillary has transformed Obama, from an idealist to a pragmatist, who is now well-positioned to take on anything the GOP can dish out. Again in a business context, fierce competition provides focus and vision to a firm. And a monopoly, as in the case of McCain, can lead to lethargy. From that context, I do think Obama would be a stronger opponent to McCain now than 3 months ago. That is, if someone tells Hillary that its time now to call off the dogs and stand behind the party. Interesting times are ahead...

Kellogg's 2008 India Business Conference

2008-04-22T10:15:00.008-05:00

Kellogg is hosting its annual India Business Conference on May 10th. This is apparently the longest running event of its kind (among BSchools). The theme this year is 'Brand India' and where we see it going in the future. The event is promising to be bigger and better than ever, with an outstanding list of keynote speakers and panelists. Its been fun playing my part in organizing this event. This year, for the first time, we are also putting together a new publication called India@Kellogg, that will contain interviews/thoughts/articles about India from our panelists, industry experts, faculty and students. Click on the image below to enlage it.

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Announcing the 2008 India Business Conference
May 10, 2008 - Owen L. Coon Auditorium
Kellogg School of Management, Evanston, IL

Register at: http://www.kellogg.northwestern.edu/IBConference/IBC2008/register.html
Register now! Past conferences have sold out early.

Recruiting and the aftermath (Kellogg Winter Quarter 08)

2008-04-11T09:59:00.014-05:00

Howdy there! Just when you all think I'm all but done, I just pop up out of the blue, don't I? Yeah, its a very carefully cultivated talent. And not to mention years of non-committal behavior. Anyways, for those of you waiting with bated breath to know what happened in my winter quarter, here's a quick run through!

Recruiting Process:

The winter quarter is in some ways the most stressful one for most BSchool students. It is when companies land up on campus in hordes to pick out the best and the brightest for their summer internship programs. This is huge because most companies are also looking to extend full-time offers to those who really impress them during the summer. When school starts the second week of jan, it is usually a whirlwind of last minute networking, meeting company on-campus reps and attending coffee chats, finalizing your resume and writing millions of cover letters and making them unique to each firm you are applying to. The Kellogg Career Management Center (CMC) does a phenomenal job of getting a diverse range of companies, prioritizing them etc. They also have a great web-site. However, the process could be slightly confusing even before you get to the interview stage. So let me see if I can explain this better.

There is a concept of 'Open Lists' and 'Closed Lists'. Once you customize your resume and cover letter and click on the 'apply' button for a particular firm, your information is made available to the firm. Then these companies wade through these profiles and pick out the most 'promising' ones or with the best fit. These candidates get added on their 'closed list'. This is when your networking might come in handy. The recruiter might remember your name and decide to add you to the closed list. The less fortunate ones that are interested in the firm but cannot get on the closed list then have to go through a bidding process. You start with a certain number of points that you have to use effectively to bid for multiple firms. The number of slots on the 'open list' are always equal to the number on the closed list'. The system is designed this way to put some element of control in the hands of the students so they get a chance to interview with their top choice companies. Firms who wish to come and interview on campus will have to abide by these rules. Some large firms - most notably McKinsey - not wanting to be restricted thus, decide to interview off-campus.

Once you get on any of these lists, you are informed via e-mail, and the CMC schedules the interview using a smart algorithm to avoid conflicts with your current class schedule or with other interviews. But this is not always possible. The actual recruiting process varies with the industry and job function you are getting into. One-third of Kellogg (abour 150-200) gives Consulting a shot, and about another one-third goes for Investment Banking. Since the kind of preparation required for these 2 streams are entirely different, you should be making up your mind about what you would like to pursue, before the quarter starts. Kellogg also has a reputation of having very diverse job interests. What this means is that while 80% of Wharton students might go into 20 companies, 80% of Kellogg students will go into 50-60 firms. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but this does make things interesting. Anyways, the remaining one-third go into a variety of roles like Marketing/Brand management, Technology, PE/VC/Sales & Trading, General Management etc.

Consulting:

Consulting typically has 2 rounds of personal interviews. The first one will usually be on-campus and will involve 2 back-to-back 45-minute interviews, each involving an element of fit and 'case' interviews. You will probably get a phone call within a couple of days informing you whether you have been shortlisted for the final round or if you have been "dinged". You better hope the call does not start off with something like "We enjoyed meeting you...". This is a sure sign of a ding and you might as well zone out for the rest of the conversation. The second round might be in their office or in a hotel, and involves another 2-3 interviews with senior folks from the firm (principals and partners). Then you wait for the fateful phone call once again.

'Case' interviews for me was a new concept. What happens is that the recruiter/consultant gives you a business case scenario and some limited information/data and asks you for your thoughts and recommendations (so what should the firm do to increase its profit margin or market share?) Case interviews vary widely from the very structured to the highly vague. They are designed to test both your analytical/problem-solving skills as well as your facility with public math. Its not always about getting to the right answer. You have to be thinking on your feet, asking the right questions and taking charge of the interview.

Cases can usually be put into a few buckets (profitability, M&As, marketing etc.). Practice definitely makes you better since you start developing the frameworks you are most comfortable with, and you are half-way into your analysis (in your mind) even before the interviewer finishes explaining the case. Since most students are quite good at cases by the time interviews come around, you can differentiate yourself only by being outstandingly sharp and insightful - quick with math, out of the box solutions etc.

My Recruiting experience:

Now that we have set the context, let's run over my experience. I started off case preps when the quarter started, giving me about 3 weeks of prep time before the first interview. I practiced with my consulting buddy group, with seniors and other mates, and even with my wife. I was by no means very good when my interviews started, but I saw myself getting better through the first week. I got a bunch of dings in the first as well as second rounds. This is the time when you are doing a lot of self-introspection, and start doubting your abilities - Am I really good enough? What the hell am I doing here? You also start looking at Plan B, and for me, this was technology (product manager, operations etc.). Consulting firms are usually done within the first 2 weeks of recruiting, so you know you are running out of options after the first few dings.

These interviews (especially back-to-back) can be long and tiring and leave you flat. I remember one friday when I interviewed for 3 firms in a row, about 4 hrs in all. My jaws were hurting at the end of it and I couldn't think straight. You are also constantly wondering how you could have done better and what you screwed up, and then start dreading the phone call informing you of the result.

I even had to miss my first wedding anniversary as well as Valentine's day since I had to attend some company event/dinner. The wife was not happy but she understood what I was going through and was extremely supportive. I hope I made it up to her.

Eventually, luck smiled upon me, and I managed to get an offer from a big consulting firm. What made this more surprising was that this firm had never been on my radar, and I had done no sort of networking with them. But when I finally met the people there, I really liked them - completely down to earth and without the stuffy air and suits. I also got the location of my choice - Chicago of course. Since the firm is involved in a variety of industries, I will have a variety of projects to choose from. Most importantly, I was not branded as a technology/IT specialist, and will get to try out different strategy projects. So this was a no-brainer for me, and I even canceled a Google second round invite to Mountainview, much to the changrin of my friends.

Once you get an offer, you are given some time to make your decision. Consulting firms have a "sell" weekend when they wine and dine you to influence your decision. We (my wife and I) were put up at the classy 'W' hotel in Chicago, and were taken to the best restaurants and bars over the weekend. This also included spending a day at the office. It was nice to get pampered, although I had already made my decision.

Rest of the Quarter:

While recruiting was on, courses took a backseat. Classes were half-empty and professors do understand the strain on students and take it easy during the first half. That said, mid-terms were on us before we could recover, and it was back to the books. Group projects were usually done over e-mail since it was next to impossible to schedule a time that agrees with the entire group. When the bulk of the recruiting is over (50% of students with offers), we were already more than half way into the quarter, and it was a mad scramble after that. Add to this our other club and extra-curricular involvements, and things get really complicated.

But once I signed my offer, it was a huge weight of my shoulders and I breezed through the rest of the quarter. Compared to the Fall quarter, I felt I did not get much out of the coursework in winter. But this was because I did not put in enough time and effort. Luckily, I had pretty easy/manageable courses and did reasonably well.

I was also part of a Kellogg team that competed in a Strategy War competition in Boston, against Harvard, MIT Sloan and Chicago GSB. And guess what, we won! There was some media coverage about this competition that I have given below if you are into this sort of stuff!

Here, here, here and here. And yes, some Kellogg coverage as well...

Spring break:

And the quarter ended and spring break was upon us, not a minute too soon. While a lot of Kellogg students embark on GIM (Global Initiatives in Management) trips around the world, I had decided to skip this, and had instead substituted this with another course during the quarter. I wanted a much needed break when I could just lounge aorund doing nothing and spend quality time with my wife and dog. This was exactly what I did, and am back this Spring Quarter with my batteries recharged and a spring in my step.

Enough is Enough

2008-02-18T19:00:00.004-06:00

This is what I have to say to you Praveen, for subjecting me to such torture without mercy.

un kadhal tholviyaal adi pattavar irandu per...
un bimbam kaattum kannaadi
un rambam padikkum naan

A peek from the dark side (Kellogg Fall Quarter 07)

2007-11-20T10:52:00.001-06:00

If I say its been an eventful 3 months since my last post, that will be an understatement. In fact, it will be a bigger understatement than saying that the sub-prime loan crisis is not treating the wannabe Investment bankers very well or that GM's 30 odd billion accounting goof-up might come back to bite them in the ass. I am very tempted to keep going with such pearls of wisdom, but I guess you all get the point. So with the kind of trust that can only come with naivete and inexperience, I am going to assume that there are still some readers checking this blog or a few who haven't deleted this feed from their bloglines, I am going to narrate the story of my life in the last 3 months.

Last week of August:

Even before school started, Kellogg students embark on team-building trips around the globe. I went with a group to New Orleans where we clubbed some Katrina rebuilding for the Habitat for humanity with some good old partying in the French quarters. It so happened that when we were staying at 'Camp Hope', it was the 2nd anniversary of Katrina. So Anderson Cooper flew down to our camp to do a special on Katrina, and we formed the backdrop. Long story short, I got my 3 seconds of fame and appeared on CNN! New Orleans was a ghost town and it was shocking to see how the town has not recovered at all from the tragedy. Unfortunately, the rest of the nation has conveniently forgotten the event and moved on. Everywhere we went, people came up to us and thanked us for coming down to help rebuild the city. It was very touching.

September:

September is CIM time. CIM stands for 'Complete Immersion in Management'. It is a series of events geared to act as a logical break between your work life and start of school, where your resistance is broken down and new friendships are forged. Students are divided into different sections with weird names like the 'bucketheads', 'cashcows' or 'poets' and there is a healthy inter-section rivalry with a points system, not unlike Hogwarts. There were cheering contests, skits (where I played 'Dipak Shakur', a cross between the rapper and our beloved Dean Dipak Jain), weird sports (dizzy bat anyone?!), treasure hunts etc. Within a week, we knew all our section mates at the least, about a 100 of them. We also got our first exposure to the quality of the Kellogg faculty with a pre-term course on Management and Organizations. The course was characterized by a lot of student interaction, video clips and even a complete movie (12 Angry Men). It was probably the best teaching I've seen in my life. The CIM came to an end with the formal CIM ball, held at the end of September at the Field Museum. It was the perfect way to end an eventful month.

October:

Just when we were getting used to the partying and socializing, the reality of business school hit us flush on the face. Suddenly, I was in the middle of 4 courses (Turbo Finance, Strategy, Accounting and Factory Physics 1) with a ton of assignments, projects, team meetings etc. My calender was filling up fast and I didn't have a moment to stop and think. Around this time, I realized that I-Banking was not for me and decided to focus only on Management Consulting and High-Tech product management as career options. Very soon, companies will start making their way to campus and you had to know what you want to do. If you tried to do everything, you will be burnt out. I also got selected to be an interviewer on the Kellogg Admissions Committee.

Despite all my complaints, I was enjoying my courses. While Turbo finance was whizzing by at breakneck speed, I learnt how things like how to build discounted cash flow models, about efficient markets and that derivatives have nothing to do with calculus. In Strategy, we were applying models like Porter's five Forces to study long-run industry structures or to evaluate factors that affect competition within industries, like competitive advantages and value propositions. The cases (Home Depot, Coors, Enterprise etc.) were extremely interesting with a lot of student interaction, and the professor was brilliant. This is turning out to be my favorite course this quarter.

Amid the chaos, we still found some time to entertain outselves. There was the weekly MMM 'thirsty thursdays' and the friday evening TGs (short for TGIF) with various themes. The highlight was the Drag TG hosted by the GLMA (Gay and Lesbian Management Association) where teams from various sections contested for free tickets sponsored by Orbitz. There is something very touching about straight guys shaving their legs, coloring their nails, humping on stage in front of a faculty judge panel and doing everything to embarrass themselves in public (dirty dancing, santa baby, spice girls, shakira...) just for a couple of trans-atlantic tickets!

November:

Before we realized what happened in each of our courses, our midterms were on us. And it was back to more scrambling and clutching at the straws. I somehow got through these, but my performances were nothing much to write home about. Some were good and some were miserable. Never mind, there is more to B-Schools than just grades! A bunch of us decided to start a new initiative called 'India Insight @ Kellogg', with the aim of providing a channel for all 'Indianness' in Kellogg (Indian students, faculty, speakers, India-related research etc.). The output will be a comprehensive web portal and a publication to be released during the India Business Conference next year.

November was also the time for Diwali and my 30th birthday! My wife celebrated my passage into the 30s with a combined Diwali/Birthday party, and it was a good opportunity to catch up with a lot of old friends. Kellogg also hosted the annual 'bollywood Bash' with performances by students, food and open bar, and a dance floor with a DJ playing the latest desi dance music, and even a dhol guy to boot. If I thought things would ease up after the midterm week, I was wrong wrong wrong again. We were hit with some huge assignments. It was getting increasingly hard to schedule group meetings what with everyone's packed calenders. In my infinite wisdom, I also decided to participate in the BCG Case Competition and put together a team. Unfortunately, we weren't able to spend enough tinme together on it and could not make it through the hotly contested competition (3 teams out of 50 odd). It was a great experience nevertheless.

What was a hectic schedule became even more brutal when all the recruiting companies started coming to campus. There was a whole bunch of presentations and receptions to attend and schmoozing and networking to do. Networking is a huge part of recruiting in business schools, and who you know really matters here. I've also been having one-on-one coffee chats with representatives from various consulting companies, this is another way of getting to know the company a bit bitter while also building relationships.

Finally, the madness seemed to subside last week with the impending Thanksgiving break. For the first time, the school has decided to give the entire week of for Thanksgiving, which explains how I can afford to sit and type out such a long post.

This is but a very superficial account of my life in Kellogg so far. I will need to write an entire book to go into more detail. I have chosen to pick my activities and club involvements with care, rather than spread myself thin. So I guess I'm in a slightly better position than some of my classmates. But it has been a very interesting ride so far. After the break, we will head into the final lap for the quarter culminating in our final exams in December. I can already taste the winter break! As usual, I hope to keep this blog a bit more regular in the future. But as usual, I might be wrong.

New Beginnings

2007-08-23T10:29:00.000-05:00

So you guys might have been wondering why I disappeared after my 100th blog. To regular followers of cricket however, this might not have come as a surprise. As any fan worth his salt knows, batsmen have a tendency to play a rash stroke immediately after getting to their centuries. Its not from a lack of desire or commitment. Its just that the sense of accomplishment causes a momentay lapse in concentration. But you are right. Actually, this does not make any sense in my case! I just stopped because I couldn't think of anything interesting to write about. I was also involved in mundane things with starting Kellogg like looking for a place in Evanston, getting some pre-MBA reading out of the way and figuring out how to activesync my laptop to my new phone so I can have non-existing meetings synced up on both devices. Ofcourse, I also enjoyed spending some quality time with my wife and dog.

Tomorrow (friday) is my last day at work. On Sunday, I'll be leaving with a Kellogg group for New Orleans, where we will do some Katrina rebuilding during the day and check out some of the city's famous jazz scene at night. Its going to be a hectic start to what promises to be the busiest 2 years of my life. So I thought this would be a perfect start to ruminate about "new beginnings" and the like, just so I appear self-aware and philosophical to my loyal readers.

So I'm quitting my job and going back to being a full-time student. I'm throwing a cushy job, a decent pay and an okay reputation to go do something that has an estimated opportunity cost approaching 300K. Its going to be a major lifestyle change. I don't think the full impact has sunk in yet. I'll be meeting my wife only occasionally. This is probably going to be the biggest shocker since we've been inseparable for the past 8 years. Even after I graduate, I'll probably end up in a job that's going to keep me at my desk or on the road for a considerable number of hours a week. So I guess we both will just have to get used to this. This is here to stay.

I can't just whip out my credit card as carelessly as I used to. I'll be living in a modest accomodation on a student budget. I'll once again be banging my head on a wall with courses, assignments and projects. Hopefully, the professors won't be the sort who would twist my ears while I'm already on my knees.

Things are going to change in my social life as well. For the last several years, I've been happy to hang out and party with the same bunch of friends. And its been great. But now I'll have to start expanding my horizons and keep my mind open to making new friends. Its not always an easy thing to do when you are nudging 30. As the great philosopher Seinfeld once said "I have 3 friends. That's all I can handle!".

However, as new beginnings go, this is exciting as well. How many people get a chance to start afresh so late in the game? I can quit all this IT/telecom business and decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'll get a chance to interact with with some of the smartest people and have access to some of the most successful people in business today. And hopefully get treated like royalty by recruiters when I graduate. Ofcourse, I just need to watch out that my inadequacies don't get cruelly exposed by my over-achieving Kellogg classmates.

So the challenge now is to take all this in the right perspective. I can sit and complain about the hectic classes, the huge debt, time away from my family and getting back to the student grind after all these years. Or I can look forward to the exciting times ahead and use it to come out of my comfort zone and try out new things. I can look forward to all the interesting people I'm going to meet and the opportunities that are going to come my way. There are new paths to be taken, and new horizons to be explored.

So here's to new beginnings!

#100

2007-07-20T13:12:00.001-05:00

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is my 100th post on Chennai to Chicago. Thank you! thank you! Now if you can all sit down and hold your applause till the end, I would like to say a few words.

First off, I would like to thank my mom and dad for not drowning me as a kid despite the obvious temptations to do so. To this day, they remain blissfully unaware of the existence of this blog. This will be very closely followed by my gratitude to my wife, who has managed to neglect 99% of my blog posts so that she might be able to maintain a semblance of respect for me as an intelligent and mature human being. I applaud her for her inner strength.

I would also like to thank my grand parents who had to put up with me during my annual summer vacations in Sathanur. To document those wonderful childhood memories was one of the main reasons I decided to start and maintain this blog. Many thanks also goes to my immediate friends' gang in Chicago, who - disturbingly - call themselves 'baguth'. They have continued to discourage me, diss me, dissuade me, disillusion me... The number of 'dis' things they've done to me is pretty long. I firmly believe that when I die they'll spit on my grave. I thank them for their moral support and understanding. I am also indebted to 2 other people. My brother Chandru started a blog first and inspired me to follow suit. And my good friend SpiceTooth who, as usual, put enormous enthu for his blog in the beginning only to see it fizz out in a few days. To those who know him well, he specializes at this.

I am very grateful to those anonymous readers of my blog who give arcane search terms on google like "chennai aunties" or "vietnam wedding" and end up on my blog. They take one look and flee from my site. But my site counter still adds them to my list of visitors and makes me feel good at the end of the day.

And finally, last but not the least (allow me to use my cliches please), if there are any regular readers of my blog, I bow to you and your mighty heart. And I wonder what is wrong with you. I realize that you are the lucky few who get paid to browse the net. I still feel sorry for you and would suggest you get some serious psychiatric help.

I know what you are wondering! What has kept me motivated to write a 100 posts on this blog despite serious misgivings form the general public? My motivations are 3 fold.

1. This serves as a vent for my creative energies while also providing me with a forum to express my thoughts and opinions on a variety of subjects.

2. To rant and rave about anything I want to without fear of criticism or backlash. This also includes doling out unwarranted and unsolicited advice.

3. I forget.

I do have to admit that when I started this blog, I had no idea I'd last for a 100 posts. To think that I now stand on par with legends such as Tendulkar (100+ test matches), Rajnikanth (100+ movies) and Lata Mangeshkar (100+ bad songs. Actually make that 1000+) is mind-boggling, to say the least. When I type this, I can actually feel goose bumps on my hand. Oh sorry, that was just bad static!

There have been times when the ideas have disappeared and the imagination has run dry. But I kept plodding on with some of my worst posts. You can dig them up from the 'Rants and Raves' list on the right hand side, like this one. Eventually, material would present itself. Like my cousin Arun's wedding to Cindy, a Vietnamese-American. To this day, this is one of the most widely read and commented posts on my blog. Then there was my marathon which certainly deserved 1 post. But I wrote 3 (1, 2 and 3). When I got my Kellogg MBA admit, I turned into a drama queen with mushy posts like this. And then ofcourse was the highlight of my life so far - my wedding to W. This was fun to write. But I knew I was walking a tight rope because I had to write about everybody without offending anybody. I decided to stay superficial. It always works. Speaking of superficial, you just have to turn to my book/movie reviews. They contain a lot of words which eventually do not amount to anything. I like to play it safe. I am fond of writing something about technology once in a while, and my favorite in this section would be this post about my dream device Alamelu. However, my all-time favorite posts are, and will continue to be, my 'Sathanur Day' series. Here's one for starters. When you are passionate about something, it reflects in your writing.

As you can see, the road to my 100th post has been filled with a lot of challenges. But the key is to enjoy them and never give up. Even when you end up having to work 4-6 hours in an entire day and come back home dead tired. Where there is a will there is a way.

So what is my advice to budding and future bloggers, you ask? Just go out there and enjoy yourself. The best thing about blogging is that noone has to read what you write. You can still call yourself a blogger, and when noone is listening, a writer. Think about what you want to say and then find a way to say it in simple uncomplicated words. Does my advice sound superficial to you? Ofcourse it does. Didn't I tell you I like superficial?

So where do I see myself going from here? I plan to keep this blog running hopefully for another 100 posts and more. I know the first year of my MBA is going to provide me with serious obstacles. But before any of you starts heaving your sigh of relief, let me assure you that I'm going to try my very best to update this blog regularly. There is no respite yet for you my friends. And if you are a regular blog reader, I have some advice for you as well. Please step into Web 2.0 and use an RSS blog reader/scubscriber such as Bloglines or Google Reader. They bring the content to you and you won't miss any of your favorite bloggers' posts. wink! wink!

And with that, I'll conclude my little speech and let you get back to the applause.

Texas hold 'em and choke 'em!

2007-07-16T15:21:00.000-05:00

I've finally been introduced to the parallel universe called poker, expecially the planet that calls itself Texas hold 'em. For years, I've resisted the advance of many poker-loving friends and relatives. Its not that I don't gamble. Ask the Vegas casino owners, and they'll assure you that c2c can brighten up a pretty ordinary day on the strip. I have donated plenty of money to the Blackjack table owers, dealers and waiters association of Vegas. However, poker is one card game I've always shied away from. It sounded unnaturally complicated for a cards game. To start with, you have to remember what all the piss pots, flushes, straights, full houses and royal flushes meant. On top of that, you have to get the order right. Granted, you can always have a cheat sheet and refer to it or ask your fellow poker players. But come on! Who's gonna respect a poker player who constantly keeps nagging you if a straight is better than a pair and a triplet?

Anyways, last weekend, my wife and I went camping with 3 friends from our gang. Unfortunately, one of them decided to bring along his poker set, and informed us that he was not going to let us sleep in peace in our tents unless we consent to learn and play poker with him. That's how it all started. As we picked up the nuances (read 'basic rules') of this game, we started getting into the spirit. Pairs elicited contented sighs while occasional straights were met with unabashed joy. As the sun disappeared and the camping ground was slowly getting enveloped in darkness, the stakes were getting upped at our table under a gas lantern. Fifty dollar chips were being thrown in nonchalantly. Granted, we just called the red chips 'fifty dollar chips', and we weren't really going to bring out any cash. But still, you could feel the sense of anticipation and thrill in the air. People started experimenting and finalizing on their poker expressions. I perfected the art of not letting away anything. When I got a good hand, I frowned. When I got a bad hand, I smiled. I was so unpredictable that it was enough to throw even experienced professionals off my scent. I'm not sure how I still lost so consistently. It was probably because I decided to show some style. Haven't you seen all those great poker scenes in moves where the protagonist is on his last dime and decides to bet everything he has on that last hand? The way the hero pushes the pile of chips saying "all in" must've made a serious impression on me. I've always wanted to do that. And here was my chance. Agreed, I only had a 5 pair, and there were bigger cards on the table. But the chance to be part of a 'movie moment' was too hard to resist and I did go all in. Unfortunately, my wife and poker-destroyer-in-chief was having an incredible run that night. She called my bluff pretty easily and added my measly donation to her considerable pile of chips. I would not want to get in the bad books of that woman when I' m sitting across from her on a poker table. She killed the competition that night, including that of our tutor ET.

When we came back from camping to resume our normal suburbian lives, I realized that the poker mania was here to stay. When we gathered at Ram's place on the eve of his b'day, we again decided to get a game of poker going. This time, my wife was in even better form. She was producing Aces and triplets like it was nobody's business. As for me, I couldn't seem to catch a break. I went maybe like 10 games without a half-decent hand. The only redeeming thing was that Ram went 'all in' this time and lost everything before me. On his b'day, no less. However, without the influence of alcohol (unlike the camping night), I actually got most of the rules straight. Like when I can 'check', how the bet matching works, what's a 'small blind' and a 'big blind' etc. (didn't I tell you its a complicated game?).

The following friday, we decided to have a formal poker night at my place. So we set the dining table up with enough seating space, stocked the fridge with enough alcohol to feed an army and opened the poker set for a night of gambling. We also had new arrivals, and we passed on our new-found knowledge of the game. There were a few hiccups before the game started. I was sitting on the floor with a bottle of beer talking to someone, and then I realized that our dog Oreo had spilled my beer bottle on the rug and had proceeded to lap up the contents with relish. And in a few minutes, the OH seemed to hit him. He looked totally out of it, roamed around drunk for a little bit and eventually just curled up under the poker table and went to sleep. We had to literally whack him over his head to wake him up next day morning. Not sure if he had a bad hangover, but he was not anywhere near his best the whole day. It goes without saying that my wife wasn't very happy with me. But the whole episode was hilarious, like something straight out of a comic book. Secretly, I was proud that Oreo infact liked beer. He was my boy after all :-)

Getting back to the game, there were experts and newbies fighting it out on the table. We decided to play with some money to make things interesting. Apparently, that's when people actually start using their brains, calculating odds etc. My wife, unfortunately, decided not to participate. My plans of getting back my $5 investment went down the drain. I played it safe knowing that every hand involved pennies, nickels, dimes and even a quarter or two. I didn't do anything flashy like going all in. It didn't matter. I got my ass whooped pretty quick. And before I knew it, I was the first one out of the game. Others followed. But the last 3 guys fought it out till 4AM despite my best attempts to kick them out of the house and get some sleep. Finally, the last 2 ended up splitting the handsome $30 pot.

That was last weekend. We haven't played poker since. I'm not sure where our gang will go from here as far as poker is concerned. Will we get bored of it and give it up just like we did other card/board games? Or will we get completely hooked on to it and make it a regular feature? I'm not sure. But I do know that we can't let the game can go on like that for hours. It becomes a torture especially for those who get kicked out early on in the game (ok, me). I'll probably vote to put in some sort of time limit, to make it fast and interesting. Also, I probably need to work on my poker expression and body language, seeing that whaterever I've done so far has not worked.

Ofcourse, the main thing to remember is this. Listen carefully because this is pretty deep. Poker is just like life. The wife is the boss and you are better off not messing with her.

Personalized maps on Google

2007-07-12T09:32:00.000-05:00

Looks like google has done it again. They've given you a small key to one of their very small rooms. You can go in, rummage and come out with something shiny, smelly and interesting. If any of you are avid google followers or use google maps often, you would have noticed a new tab called 'My Maps' on the google maps page. This is the small key to a whole new world.

Google Inc. will introduce on Wednesday a new feature that lets users create personalized maps which plot the locations of everything from cheap gas locally to the latest earthquakes worldwide.

MyMaps, as the new feature is known, allows consumers to select from more than one hundred mini-applications created by independent software developers. These allow users to overlay data on top of Google's popular online map service.

Visitors to http://maps.google.com after Wednesday at 6 a.m. PDT (1300 GMT) will find a new tab that contains links to dozens of the mini-applications, which Google calls Maplets.

The service is simple, but surprisingly useful, efficient and a lot of fun. You could go in and check gas prices in every gas station in your area, combine this with a restaurant trip or measure the distance of one lap around the park across your house where you usually run (472 m). Now that google has given the keys, there will be be hundreds of new applications to satisfy every need.

One map application allows users to watch YouTube videos based on the locations where they are uploaded. One could switch from the video confessions of a teenager in Ohio to tourist videos shot in the Andes mountains of South America.

Among the applications created by software developers over the past month are programs that allow users to link famous photos taken in locations around the world to Google Maps.

Alternately, photos that have location information on the Flickr photo sharing service can be found on a Flickr Maps application. Users can map local real estate prices, plot hotels or locate the cheapest gas station nearby.

Putting geography as an extra dimension in everything has been one of google's mantras all along. For example, even picassa web allows you to tag photos with the location information. In a world that's become increasingly small but cluttered with information and chaos, getting location-specific information has become something of a priority. For example, I don't care how many people get mugged in downtown Chicago, but I'm certainly interested in crime statistics in my suburb. Now, I can access that. And with the ability to overlay maps on top of each other, you can come up with some interesting stuff.

"We are putting the Web into maps," said John Hanke, a product manager for Google Maps, said of the diversity of information users now will be able to locate geographically.

Furthermore, users can overlay multiple applications on top of Google Maps to find interesting geographical correlations.

Before buying a house, a potential property owner could overlay local crime statistics on their new neighborhood.

Tourists could check out photos posted by other tourists to sites such as Yahoo's Flickr to figure out what the hotel or the surrounding region looks like before they book a reservation.

Consumers who have signed up for a Google Gmail account can save personalized maps. Users who choose not to sign into Google services can remain anonymous but use the service, Hanke said.

This might seem like just another small step in google's world of innovation hyper-activity. But I really feel that this has the ability to add a whole new perspective to tourism, travel and sharing location-specific information. For example, I've started creating a personalized map of all the local restaurants we frequent in my area (like this). I can probably share it with my friends and get them to add their picks as well. And when someone visits me, I could just give them the link to this map and let them decide where they want to go and how to get there. This saves me the trouble of maintaining a list of all restaurants somewhere along with their web-sites/addresses, phone nos etc. and then having to find driving directions when I have to get there. Also, when I hear about some new restaurant in town, I plan to immediately add it to my map. It'll fester there till I have to visit that particular neighborhood sometime. Then I could incorporate a visit to the eatery as well. The possibilities are endless.

I'll probably create additional maps with other local attractions, pubs, bars, clubs, movie theaters etc. Visitors can overlay a combination of these maps. Say you are free on a saturday evening and feel like doing something fun. Say you wanna go try out a new restaurant and then maybe go shake it in a club. You could overlay my restaurant map on top of my club map, and find a restaurant and club not too far from each other. You could click on it, access the web-sites, phone nos. etc, make your reservations and share the plan and the map with your friends.

That sounds like a good saturday evening, doesn't it?

Oreo

2007-07-03T10:43:00.001-05:00

This blog is not about the cookie. Its about a dog. I've never made a secret of my contempt for animals, and intense dislike for all licking, biting, barking and growling. Infact, it was not long ago when I ranted on this very blog about how I've always been scared of most animals, and have spent half my teen years chasing dogs or being chased by dogs. So how was it that someone like me came to own a dog and learn to love him (yes, its a "him" now, not an "it"). How did the unthinkable happen?

Its no secret that my wife has been pestering me to get her a dog, and I'd been successfully postponing this citing our impending Europe trip. To my intense dismay, she then graduated to looking up 'Dog for adoption' postings on Craigs list. Everyday, she would make me sit next to her and show me innumerable photos of canines of various sizes, shapes, colors and dispositions. Some of them don't even look like dogs (I hate poodles more than any other living being!). Eventually, I had to promise her that I'd let her get a dog after I move to Evanston and start my Kellogg MBA. It made good sense. The dog would keep her company and would hopefully bark if there were any intruders. My wife would also give me a break and stop guilt-tripping me about moving away so soon after the marriage. Also, I'll never have to play any part in raising the dog. After my MBA, I thought, I'd hopefully get a consulting job which will keep me out of town on most days. Although I would certainly miss my wife, I wouldn't have to be as involved in the daily upkeeping of the dog.

Ah! how the best kept plans of men self-implode. About 2 months ago, I was off at a conference in Kellogg when I got an urgent call from my wife. She'd seen a cute shih-tzu puppy up for adoption very close to our home. And hear this - she "knew" he was the ONE. This was news to me. I'd never looked upon dogs as matches made in heaven. And I certainly had not considered for a second that there was a dog somewhere on this planet that had been created specially for my wife. But what did I know! Apparently, there it was. In goddamned Hanover Park. Just to appease her, I promised to come with her and take a look. when I got back home that evening, my wife was all dressed and ready to get going. She'd already seen the pup and had - I realized with a sinking feeling - fallen in love with him. So we both drove over. The pup was playing with the kids in the backyard. He was the smallest thing and pretty cute. For a dog. He came to us instantly and started licking our hands and feet. I saw the joy on my wife's face as she played with the dog and something inside me melted. Despite my severe misgivings and ignoring the flash alerts in my brain, I told her "let's take him home". She couldn't believe her good fortune. Later, she told me that she didn't expect me to give in so easily and that my confidence had given her the courage to adopt the dog.

We brought him home. And ofcourse, he wasn't completely potty trained. He would pee and poop all over our carpets. I could see the value of our house deteriorating right in front of my eyes. Add to this, the chewing. He constantly chewed, and still chews, everything he can lay his eyes on. Door edges, cable wires and even my cell phone charger (yes, its gone!). We spent many a sleepless night, trying to pacify him while he missed his previous abode. I was rudely woken up by my wife in the middle of the night and asked to take him outside for a pee. Suffice to say, I repented my decision. How could I have been so stupid? I never realized the responsibilities that came with raising a pup. Even my wife was tired. We were both at our wit's end, and even considered putting him up for adoption.

And then, after a few weeks, something changed. The pup got completely potty trained, and consistently signalled to us when he needed to "go". He became a lot more playful and social. He started displaying his personality, and cute funny mannerisms. For example, when he was tired, he would walk slowly and then just flop on his side, as if he were shot. He slept upside down most times, and looked more like a bunny than a dog. There were other curious things we realized. One moment, he would be curling up at our feet and sleeping. But if my wife or I moved to another place/room in the house, he would rouse himself, sleepwalk and flop exactly halfway between us. I mean, if you were to draw a straight line from me to my wife, our dog would be the midpoint.

The previous owners had named him "Oreo", after the cookie, since he was black and white. The wife and I tried to think of a better name. My suggestions of "subramani" or "mani" for short were met with severe looks of disapproval. Finally, we decided to stick with "Oreo" because it had grown on us, and because he had started responding to the name. In the US, the pet owners are called the mom and dad of the pet. If you are new to this pet world, this can be quite unnerving. But you soon get used to this.

To our close friends - a raggety group of sworn bachelors - Oreo was a shock. Most of them had never owned dogs, and a few - like me - were sworn enemies. But it was fun to watch them slowly warm up to Oreo. I read this about shih-tzus somewhere - "your shih-tzu will probably bark when there is an intruder or a thief in the house. But once the intruder breaks in, your dog will proceed to give him a full tour of the house". So very true. Oreo is very social, and quite hard to resist. Whenever any of our friends walk into the house, Oreo is right there on top of the stairs, waving his tail, and restless for them to come and acknowledge him. He has charmed them so much that even the worst anti-dogger is seen these days posing for photos with Oreo in his arms. In our neighborhood, he's already a mini celebrity, atleast with all the kids. My wife and I take him walking every evening in the park across the road, and very soon he's surrounded by kids wanting to pet him and play with him. He's already made more friends on my street in 4 weeks than I've made in the 3 years I've lived here.

Oreo is a very quiet dog. He never barks, nor whines. Even when he has to go very urgently, he just sits quietly by the stairs hoping we would throw a glance in his direction and make the connection. But the only time he barks is when he sees other dogs. He's completely transformed.There's a heavenly glow on his face. He sits down and keep staring at the other dog. Then he starts whining, and very soon, he's trying make the dog's acquaintance. All this is not limited to just female dogs. He reacts exactly the same way to male dogs as well. My wife and I are still not very sure about his sexual orientation. And I've told my my wife that she has to steel herself for the possibility of never having a grandchild (Oreo being the son as mentioned before)...

There are downsides to having a dog. Our social life has been severely affected. No more late night parties, clubs, pubs and coming back at unearthly hours. Even eating out has been drastically reduced. Our friends think twice before calling us or stopping by. Whenever we plan any kind of outing, we have to think of Oreo first. We already feel guilty about leaving him alone at home for 8 hrs a day when we are at work. When he looks at you with those big sad doleful eyes, you won't think straight or be practical. He has guilt-tripped us into believing that any more lone time would be a severe injustice to him.

Yes, you can say I've warmed up to Oreo. Its probably because of the way he stretches himself in the morning and tries to snuggle between me and the wife while licking our faces clean. Or maybe its the way he rolls onto his back when he wants to be tickled. Or maybe its the way he looks up to us, leaving us in no doubt that we are the center of his universe. Whatever it is, its tough for me to hate dogs anymore. There, I said it.

Watching 'Sivaji'

2007-06-22T10:50:00.000-05:00

Yes, the movie was enjoyable. But the movie-watching experience itself was a lot of fun as well. Here are a few snippets:

- Dhigha, an old BITS friend (and one of those Microsoft nerds/whizkids depending on your viewpoint) was in Chicago. He had conveniently managed to send off his wife to Urbana Champagne for a wedding, so we could have a boys night out. So funkaboy and I decided to watch the movie friday night with him. The logistics were mundboggling. Funkaboy boy drive in from work, picked me up from my place. Then we drove to the train station to pick up dhigha (who was staying at a hotel in downtown Chicago), and drove to the mall where the theater was supposed to be located. I expected posters and cutouts and aarthis for thalaivar, but we couldn't even locate the theater. Finally, got directions from a desi store in the mall ("next to Circuit City") and made our way to the 'potti kadai' theater.

- When the titles were rolling, Dhigha and I decided to take a video of the audience reaction, but then the organizers showed up from nowhere and threatened to haul us out of the theater if we used our cameras. I was about to retort, but the prospect of leaving the theater without watching thalaivar movie was beyond contemplation. So we shut up. But everytime one of us got phone calls and opened our cell phones, the guys came running and flashed their torches on us from both sides. Baguth insult!

- We were sharing this huge ass coke. Dhigha had a sip and wanted to put it back on its holder located in the backside of the front seat. And being the clumsy type, he thought he got the right spot, placed it and took his hands off. It turned out that the bucket-like thing was still in mid-air and was taken over by gravity. Oh, and did I tell you the holder was right in front of me? So the thing splashed and drenched my shoes and pants. While Dhigha and I were frantically looking fora napkin, funkaboy didn't take his eyes off the screen for a moment to help his friends in distress. A tsunami at that point in time would not have distracted him. The rascal!

- It was a multiplex, but there didn't seem to be any audience for the other English movie running there. It was funny to see harassed Americans serving samosas and trying to maintain a semblance of order in a theater full of thalaivar fans.

- At the beginning of the movie, there were some ABCD kids right behind us who seemd to be deriving some kind of satisfaction in passing comments on the hardcore front benchers. We could hear them shouting "you are disgusting!" and "go use some deo" and the like. Such fun. But once the movie got underway and the front benchers outshouted them, they disappeared never to be seen again.

- When the movie got over and we walked out, we were shocked to see the long line for the next show snaking all the way back into the parking lot. Had this urge to shout out "Mottai Rajini will come in the climax", but a fear of life and limb took over and better sense prevailed.

- Finally, the 3 of us took a photo with the Sivaji showtime in the background. After the satisfaction of watching a good entertainer, it was time to head back home, down a few margheritas and discuss the movie with other friends who were planning on watching it the next day. Yes, I know, I'm evil.

Sivaji: The Boss

2007-06-20T10:28:00.000-05:00

Can you believe the hype and the publicity this movie has generated? I had my first glimpse of this hype when the album was released. By Rahman's standards, it seemed an unremarkable one. The songs were reasonably catchy but none of them seem to leave a lasting mark (remember "Antha Arabi kadaloram..."). And then a few months ago, the second wave arose, with mainstream media and the blogworld abuzz with news about potential release dates. Shankar, as is his wont, let the word of mouth do the publicity for him, by keeping things close to his chest and postponing release dates. In the process, I imagine he also managed to screw up the release plans for countless other movies. As the relase date got finalized and we approached D-day, things seemed to reach a feverish pitch. I couldn't open a desi blog or web-site without catching a news item or photo of the Boss. The worst part was the day of the release when various bloggers started reviewing the movie. I had tickets for the next day (Friday - June 15th), and had to really try hard to stay away from reading these. Growing up, I've always been a huge Rajni fan. But as maturity, and the accompanying burden of logic and cynicism set in, I couldn't get myself excited about 'thalaivar' movies anymore. But now, inexplicably, I was caught and swept along in the frenzy. I keep shouting "superstar" and "thalaivaa" to my Sindhi-Gujju wife. She just thought I was plain crazy. For someone who's never known the Rajni phenomenon, its hard to explain. How do you make her understand that its not about the looks, the acting or even great movies. Its all about the STYLE!!! Anyways, let's move on to the movie review.

When news got out that Shankar and Rajni are coming together, people went ballistic. There is a simple reason for that. Currently in Tamil cinema, noone does things bigger and grander than Shankar. Ofcourse, he's not all glamor and glitter. He pays attention to a good script, usually churns out a pretty tight screenplay and explores social issues. But his biggest selling point is his ability to bring in the best talents in every department and get them to seemlessly work together to create perfect masala movies. However, questions arose whether he would be able to work with Rajni. In the past, Rajni movies have been directed by servile directors who only had to pander to the wishes of legions of thalaivar fans. And the movie would be a surefire hit. Everyone knew Shankar had a huge ego, and that he got his way with his actors. So who's movie is 'Sivaji' gonna be?

By now, everyone and his aunt knows the story. Sivaji is a foreign return (a software architect, no less!) who comes back with cartloads of money and wants to do good to society. He wants to miraculously provide free education, hospitals et al to everyone. Ofcourse, there are bigwigs like Adisheshan (Suman in a useless role) who want to stop him. Sivaji encounters corruption at every level. After initially scoffing at the suggestion, he's eventually forced to bribe officials at various levels to get his order through. But Adiseshan has other plans and even changes governments (at a cost of just a 100+ crores, this sounds ridiculously easy!). Sivaji is left without a dime on the street. Like any good cornered tiger, he fights back using negative tactics. He accumulates an army of goondas, gathers information on everyone who has loads of black money and then goes about extracting this from them, launders them and is on his way to creating a social revolution. Eventually, he's arrested. Then follows the most absurdly illogical medical scene (CPR after a few hours!), a new and smashing avatar of Rajni and a gripping climax sequence. Shankar thinks he's just handed out a working solution to the corruption/black money problem, and continues to dole out advice while credits roll on screen.

Let's start with what I did like about the movie. Its a complete entertainer. And Shankar has delivered exactly what thalaivar fans usually crave - style, explosive action, good comedy and great punch lines. I thought Shankar set the first half up perfectly, especially the part where Sivaji turns to corruption himself. The comedy is good in parts, with Vivek really kicking ass in some sequences. However, some things are in poor taste - like the 2 dark-skinned sisters. Rajni's histrionics to turn fair are enjoyable to some extent, but could have been tempered. Shreya is hot hot hot! Oh, and did I mention she's hot? Shankar has really managed to make Rajni look remotely like a youngish guy, which is a pretty tough task. I liked his 80s kind of hairstyle. His wardrobe is pretty classy while retaining the slightly jingchak style the frontbenchers associate with thalaivar. And yes, the songs! Shankar proves once again that there's noone in Tamil cinema who can beat him at song picturization and grandeur. "Adhiradi" where he's simulated Venice (along with the mandatory masks, latino villains and great stunts) is a visual treat. So too is "Vaa jee" where Shankar has almost created a palace of the order of a vegas casino. But my favorite was Oru koodai sunlight". I loved Blaaze's voice, and the picturization was creative and hilarious. I couldn't help wondering if Shankar and Rajni were putting thanni while discussing and finalizing this song. They've both had a ball! And the best part, undoubtedly, is the "mottai boss" who comes for the cllimax sequence.

This brings me to the place where I have to part ways with the hardcore fans, and actually mention some things I didn't like about the movie. On top of this list would be the fateful car fight sequence in the drive-in movie theater. What the hell was that?? After the first half of the fight that left me scratching my head, Rajni takes a breather and taps his fingers on his wheels while Shreya and his enemies look on. I thought "machan, thalaivar's coming up with a plan. He's gonna do something really cool and smart". And before I realize it, thalaivar just drives through and sends all the other cars flying. Excuse me!!! ithu romba over... I would've expected something better. This fight sequence should've been completely avoided. The crux of the movie is the bit where thalaivar extracts blackmoney from corrupt businessmen/politicians and launders this. You would think Shankar would put more thought into making this believable. Instead we see, thalaivar simply employing some goondas to get everything done. The whole "please wait in the office" sequence is pretty funny. But when this forms the backbone of his comeback, there should be slightly more logic. After completely stereotyping muslims (money laundering/foreign contacts), thalaivar lands in New York and asks a bunch of desi/ABCD folks to split the 150 crores among themselves, take it with them and write out donations to Sivaji foundation. Ah, how very original! If only the income tax could figure out this masterplan... And ofcourse, they don't. I felt these sequences could have been handled with a bit more maturity and logic by Shankar. I can already hear some of you mumuring that logic should be left outside the theater while watching Rajni movie. Believe me, I tried. But when Shankar is involved, I tend to expect something better than that. But the bit that completely knocked me out was when Raghuvaran revives thalaivar through CPR a couple of hours after he stops breathing. Are you kidding me??? Any self-respecting doctor would hang himself after watching this scene.

So is this a Shankar movie or a thalaivar movie? Sure, the actual story follows Shankar's tried and tested formula - expose social issue, hero gets affected and wants to bring about change, honest ways don't work, hero is frustrated and takes the negative route, people come on board and hail him as savior etc etc. You know the rest! While in movies like Gentleman, Mudhalvan and Indian, Shankar has followed up this formula with a great script, screenplay and dialogies, his handling of the Boss is actually a letdown. He's explored the bribery issue very superficially, and there are gaping holes in every scene. But in the end, the movie works because of Thalaivar. Nothing else in the movie matters. If there's one thing that Shankar has done right in the movie, it is understanding what makes Rajni ticks and then delivering exactly that to his fans. And yes, over the top. Its a complete "paisa vasool".

When the movie got over and we were walking out the theater, I called my wife (who understandably decided to skip the movie 'coz of lack of subtitles) . She picked up the phone and let out a "thalaivaaaa..." that had me in stitches. That, for me, summed up the movie. Its Rajni riding towards the sunset of his career, at his boldest, baddest and best. Nothing in Tamil cinema can come close to this phenomenon!

The Tipping Point

2007-06-15T14:37:00.000-05:00

Managed to read Malcolm Gladwell's much-acclaimed best-seller The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference recently. Since there has been so much hype around this book, I approached it cautiously, and prepared myself for a bit of disappointment. The book started off unremarkably, with Malcolm droning on about various people he has met with remarkable qualities - of mavens, enablers and connectors. I found the writing a bit haphazard at first.

But as I delved deeper into the book, things started getting clearer. I understood why he was describing these different people, and how their qualities make them unique in the market place. He equates a big wave, revolution or trend in the marketplace to an epidemic. And how most of them get started on a very small scale by a certain type of people, and how they are spread initially by another kind of people. And how the rest of us adopt them later on a much wider scale. An epidemic kind of behavior. These things sometimes seem unpredictable and counter-intuitive, but Gladwell discovers a common trait in a lot of edpidemic-like phenomenons. The moral of the story is concerned with how we could use this information productively. You don't really have to think big to make big changes. You just need to recognize the pressure points (the right people at the right place) and push the right buttons.

How do a bunch of yuppies in New York start a major Hush Puppies fashion on a global scale. How does cleaning up graffiti in the NY subway system reduce crime drastically? Or how does one popular guy's suicide trigger more such incidents in an island community? All interesting and varied questions, and the answers sometimes are expected, and sometimes very surprising.

The book is of particular interest to marketers, but a lot of other sections of the populace can benefit from it as well - law makers/politicians, the fashion industry, new technology poineers etc. Towards the end, he even comes up with some interesting take on why teenage smoking is so difficult to contain and why our approach to it thus far might be completely wrong. I didn't always agree with what he has to say. Statistics are very malleable. You can use them to support or oppose anything you want by looking at them from different angles. For this reason, I found Gladwell over-simplifying issues and solutions a lot. I guess that's kind of necessary to make a splash with his book. After all, no one is going to buy a book that says "this could be one reason why this happens, but I'm not really sure".

Bottomline: This is a good read. Especially if you are in the business of having to influence mass opinion. Also, there doesn't seem to be a lot of thinking outside the box these days. So I found the new approach to old issues refreshing. I would highly recommend this.

Europe! Europe!

2007-06-14T16:34:00.000-05:00

Just got back from a whirlwind tour of Europe, where my wife and I travelled through some 10 countries. It was hectic and exhilarating. An adventure. Let me start with a list of countries/places we visited during the tour, hopefully in the correct order.

England (London)
Belgium (Brussels)
Netherlands (Amsterdam, Rotterdam)
Austria (Innsbruck)
Germany (Black Forest, Heidelberg, Cologne)
Switzerland (Zurich, Geneva, Jungfrau, Mt. Titlus, Interlaken etc.)
Liechtenstein
Italy (Venice, Florence, Rome, Pisa)
Vatican City
France (Paris, Chamonix)

We spent most of our time in Italy, Paris and Switzerland, while stopping just for a day in most other places. I've always been a fan of spending more time in one place and exploring it completely. But this being my first time in Europe, we decided it might be a better idea to just travel through and experience a bit of as many countries as we could. And as we expected, we now know which countries/cities we would like to go back to for longish stays.

We were mostly blessed with some glorious weather. But London and Amsterdam were washouts, especially since we only spent half a day sight-seeing at each place. I wasn't too disappointed, since I'm pretty sure there'll be a few more visits to London in my lifetime. Really wanted to walk through the RLD in Amsterdam, but the weather and the logistics conspired against it.

Some initial thoughts:
The spectrum of cultures, people, languages and landscapes we encountered was delightful. Especially when it kept changing constantly with every new place we stopped at. However, within some countries, there seemed to be a kind of uniformity - like America - that I had not expected. For example, there is no doubt that Switzerland is picture-perfect. But you could have taken me to Geneva and told me we were visiting Zurich again, and I would've believed you. Both these cities are located around huge lakes, and the buildings, churches, roads and traffic everything had a kind of eerie similarity about them. This was not, however, true of some other places. Take Italy for example. Venice and Rome are miles apart and very unique in their own way.

Favorite cities:
My favorite cities have got to be Paris, Rome and Venice. Paris has got a sort of surreal beauty about it that I've never seen anywhere. There are these beautiful 200-300 year old buildings, palaces and castles now converted into museums, railway stations or post offices. You drive through the city and you feel like you are transported to a very different era. You come across beautiful opera houses, churches and even Napolean's apartment. The church of Notre Dame (remember Victor Hugo's 'Hunch back of Notre Dame'?) is an architectural delight. The view from the top of Eiffel tower is worth the wait. Add to these the cute cafes and restaurants that dot the sidewalks. You realize that this is a city which definitely mixes a lot of pleasure with business. It helps that the official work week here is only 35 hrs.

I knew that Italy would be one of my favorite places even before I set foot there, and I was not mistaken. Venice is one of a kind. Its a heady mixture of narrow alleys, canals and bridges, lined with old buildings that seem ready to fall apart. At the Piazza San Marco (St.Mark's Square) by the Grand Canal, the church is beautiful beyond description. And ofcourse, the gondola ride is a must for every visitor. There is a really laidback feel to the whole place, as if everyone there is just vacationing. That's because the number of annual visitors there is something like 100 times their actual population.

What can you say about Rome that hasn't already been said? The city is a treasure chest of history, mythology, legends and a testament to human achievements. If the colosseums took my breath away, then so too did some of the ruins that dated back to before Christ was born. And how do you even begin to describe the beauty of the Trevis fountain? How do you deal with history of this magnitude? Yes, all roads do lead to Rome. In Florence, where we spent time at the Piazza Della Signoria (Signoria Square), there are these amazingly powerful sculptures, testament to the Renaissance movement. A great example is a very reknown sculpture of a naked man by Michelangelo called 'David'. There is one of Hercules, the slaying of 'Midas' and even a couple of rape scenes that send a chill through your spine. The depiction of the naked human body with rippling muscles and raw energy reminds you of the violence of ancient Rome and the various mythologies associated with it.

Favorite places:
I admit I did not know much about Vatican city before 'Da Vinci Code' came along. But as I entered the main square, the sight took my breath away. There was the Sistine Chapel on the right, where the cardinals have their conferences to elect the pope. The papal residence was on top, with the Pope's window clearly marked. And ofcourse, there was St. Peter's Basilica towering ahead of me, the biggest curch in the world. If the outside of the church was beautiful, the inside is unbelievable. Every inch of the church is adorned with masterpieces - sculptures, paintings, murals and stained glasses made by some of the greatest talents ever. The most famous of these is ofcourse the 'Pieta' (Virgin Mary holding the now-dead Jesus on her lap) made by Michelangelo when he was only 23. I felt overawed to be here, at the centre of christianity.

If it were left to me, I would add the Louvre to the list of countries I visited. I kid you not. The place is incredibly huge, and its a no-brainer figuring out that its the largest museum in the world. It was actually a palace that was later donated to be turned into a museum. It holds approximately 400,000 works of art. For those who love numbers and statistics, consider this. If you spent 1 minute on each exhibit, it'll take you one whole year to completely cover this museum. That's how big it is! Ofcourse, the defining moment for me was when I walked into a huge room and saw from afar a big crowd gathered around a tiny picture on the far wall. And as I took a couple of steps, I realize with a jolt that this was the Mona Lisa, easily the most famous painting ever made. My heart seriously gave a little yelp. That was a dream-come-true moment for me.

Cologne, Germany (yes, the birthplace of 'Eau de Cologne') houses the biggest Gothic cathedral in the world. The spire here is gigantic, and the church was built some 800 years ago. It was one of the most imposing structures that I've ever seen. Nothing else comes close to it. Not the Sears Tower, not the Eiffel tower and none of the countless other impressive churches we saw on the tour.

The Leaning tower at Pisa is very weird. You really feel like its gonna fall down at any moment. Romans had this habit of building a bell tower with every church. In Pisa ofcourse, the tower has become much more famous than the beautiful church next to it. People all around were taking snaps with various poses of holding/supporting the gigantic tower.

Cruises:
There were plenty of cruises. On the Rhine river near Heidelberg, Germany. On Lake Zurich. On the Seine in Paris. Through the canals in Amsterdam and Venice. These proved to be a wonderfully relaxing way of seeing these places.

Special mention:
If you were to collect a few of the most beautiful picture postcards, put together a book and then decide to use that as a blueprint to build a place, that would be Switzerland. Ofcourse, no engineer/architect/builder can come close to emulating the abundance that nature has privided this place with. Everywhere you go, you are surrounded by lush green m0untains, with snow-capped mountains providing the backdrop. There are natural gorges and waterfalls that end up in beautiful brooks and rivers. There are miles of sweeping countryside, with cows grazing serenely. We went on top of a few peaks, most notably Jungfrau (the highest train line in the world at around 12000 ft), Mt.Titlus etc. Even did some sledging and snow tubing. Nature has been extremely partial to the Swiss. We saw the small town of Interlaken, the setting for many a bollywood song-and-dance sequence. However, its true that you get used to all this beautiful scenery in a couple of days. Then you wonder "what else?" Before you leave the country, you will get tired of looking at the Swiss flag (Did you know this is the only country flag that is a square and not a rectangle?). It is omnipotent. On top of every other building. On every t-shirt, cap and magnet. And plenty of flagpoles on the road as well.

Bummers:
No description of Europe would be complete without this. So here we go in no particular order.
- Extremely expensive, especially with the current rate of around $1.4 for a euro. A regular coffee at a small roadside cafe would put you back by around 4 euros (close to $6). You are better off having a bottle of wine at close to the same price! And if you want to buy souvenir t-shirts, forget about it! A regular round-neck cotton t-shirt starts at 20 euros. Even airport shops in the US are cheaper.
- No water! Absolutely! You won't found a single water fountain if you combed through Europe with a pair of high-definition lens. Not even at the airport. And when you sit at restaurants, they don't just bring a jug of water like you are used to in America. So either, you bring along the water wherever you go or you buy it. And ofcourse, water is expensive too. I didn't believe it at first, but beer is indeed cheaper than water.
- Closely in the heels of the water menace is the toilet menace. There are hardly any free toilets in Europe. Most places, there is an attendant with a table and chair outside the toilet, and you have to deposit the money with him/her before entering. At some gas station shps, there are automatic turnstiles like train stations. And some places, paying is optional. But the cleaner guy would be standing outside with a bowl, looking expectantly at you. Some places, I had to pay as much as 1 euro to take a leak. Its ridiculous! I could've almost stayed an extra day in Paris with all the toilet money I spent.
- When we asked our Gondola guy in Venice to sing us a song, he said there were only 2 places in the world where Gondola men sing - in movies and at the Venitian in Vegas (and only because those gondolas are motor-driven). Maneuvering these long gondolas through the narrow canal passageways and turning them at right-angles requires a lot of concentration and stamina. Plus these guys are not really trained to sing.
- Most places, you can get by with English. But Paris was a bit notorious in this regard. There are no English signs or translations. Even at the Louvre, every item on display is described only in French. I had to get one of those audio commentary headsets.

Yes, we did do a lot of cliched things. We bought a cuckoo clock in Switzerland, and a wonderful hand-carved ceramic beer mug in Germany. And don't forget the jewellery at the famous Swarowski museum/factory/shop in Austria. I sampled some Sicilian wine in Italy and the Rose wine in Paris. We even ate blackforest cake in Black Forest, Germany! Whenever we saw a signboard, nameplate or flag, we would take photos (to stay true to my previous post!). We took so many snaps we ran out of 3 GBs of memory cards, yielding approximately some 1700 photos and a few video clips. Every inch of our fridge is now filled with all kinds of magnets from the countries/cities we visited.

We didn't get to sample much of the nightlife, since we hit the bed everyday tired out from our excursions. We did manage to catch the Lido show on our last night in Paris, widely hailed as one of the best cabarets in the world. Halfway into the show, somewhere between watching beautiful topless women in colorful headresses and sipping the bottomless champage on the table, the weariness of the last 2 weeks hit me. And I actually dozed off for a few minutes in a show I had paid $160 to watch. And did I mention it had topless women?

In the end, it turned out to be a wonderful trip, filled with great memories. Europe is so rich in history and culture. Just like India. But this has been preserved well, and it is a pleasure to visit and appreciate each building, sculpture or painting. Its easy to travel. The countries are quite small, and are well-connected by roads and trains. The Schengen visa makes it easy to visit a lot of countries with one visa (with the exception of England and Switzerland). And the Euro is a boon since you don't have to carry 10 different currencies in your wallet. We were glad we made this trip now, before being burdened with responsibilities of kids and my oncoming MBA. It certainly was a trip of a lifetime.

PS: Will probably follow up with a photo blog of the trip very soon.

Off to Europe

2007-05-25T10:59:00.001-05:00

The wife and I are leaving on a 2-week tour of Europe. We'll be traveling through 8 countries and taking innumerable Patel shots. It goes without saying that this blog will not be updated till I get back. Adios Amigos!

Thank God my wife didn't have a choice...

2007-05-24T16:34:00.000-05:00

Not because she's from a rural area (which she is by the way - Baroda shhhh!). But because ours wasn't an arranged marriage. I was referring to this

The ordeal of the wisdom tooth continues...

2007-05-24T10:49:00.000-05:00

So, where did I leave you guys last time in my epic sob story? Ah yes, right here. So let's get on with it, shall we? After the first wisdom tooth ordeal ended, it was time to go back to the hacker, sorry, dentist to get the other wisdom tooth removed. This one went much better than I expected. The very next day, the pain was bearable and I was waltzing around at work, though I looked like I had a lollypop stuck in my mouth. This just turned out to be the lull before the storm. As it frequently happens with me, the pain hadn't completely gone by the end of the first dosage of pain killers. So I went back to the dentist for more. After that, things seemed to go swimmingly for a few more days. I even played cricket, volleyball and, in general, forgot all about my missing tooth.

That's when it happened. The pain started intensifying just when I was finishing up with my second dosage of painkillers. I could feel some kind of swelling inside my mouth, and the pain was excruciating. So I went back to the dentist, who stuck his finger in, felt around, and said there's something 'weird' going on inside. He thought it was some kind of infection, and prescribed me a dosage of antibiotics followed by some stronger painkillers. He even commented sarcastically "You are the luckiest guy in the world". If only I didn't depend on his prescriptions to get those painkillers, I would've strangled him. No, hung him by his tooth. "Ofcourse" I thought to myself. "This had to happen to me. What was I thinking?".

So I picked up the pills and went back to work. I realized that a single painkiller pill did nothing to relieve my pain. So I started taking two at a time. Not a great idea to do this at work, as it turns out. The pills hit me very soon, and I was as groggy as a cockroach in a beer bottle. The whole day, I was finding places to put my head down and sleep. But after a day, I felt some improvement. The swelling has gone down, and the pain is not as bad. I can even get by with a single pill at a time. That's where things stand now.

So where do I go from here? I'm leaving on a 2-week vacation tomorrow, so obviously I don't want to take my pain with me. I'm hoping things improve drastically today. Still, I might have to visit the dentist and get another round of painkillers, as a precaution.

And yes, before I forget. Remember the decayed tooth next to the first wisdom tooth I pulled out? The dentist cleared away the decay and gave me the "good" news. I get to keep the tooth if I get a root canal procedure done. Infact, he wanted me to get this done before I left for my vacation. With my luck, I didn't want to have a major procedure done 2 days before I left the country. So, no thanks Doc.

Clearly, this is not over yet. Watch this space for more sado-masochist adventures...

Is an MBA worth it?

2007-05-18T15:29:00.001-05:00

Came across an interesting discussion on the Businessweek's Debate Room on the pros and cons of doing an MBA. The main article is followed by a lot of comments on both sides of the argument. If you are in the MBA market, this is probably a worth a quick look. However, if you've already done your research, talked to current and past MBA graduates and made up your minds, this article will not come across as something new or ground-breaking. Infact, it was downright frustrating to see people without an MBA degree commenting on the futility of an MBA program. There were a few comments from those pursuing online programs or some that are not even in the top 100. I'm not sure how these people are qualified to comment on the topic, or worse, reject MBA programs outright.

I'm sure the question of whether an MBA is worth it or not is as old as the degree itself. I'm certainly not going to attempt to address this here. But I would say this much - If you are in a top 10 MBA program and wish to follow one of the usual post-MBA tracks (mgmt consulting, investment banking, PE, marketing etc.) the ROI quite certainly makes it worth it. But if you are a wannabe entrepreneur, there's no saying if a business school would help foster your creativity. At the end of the day, its a very personal and subjective decision. A lot of factors need to be taken into consideration:
- where you are in your personal and professional life?
- would you be able to absorb the opportunity cost?
- is your payscale already comparable to that of a post-MBA guy?
- etc etc.

In my case, I seem to have hit a wall in my career. And I was bored of doing the same IT/telecom stuff. And more importantly, I knew I wasn't using those skills that I was actually good at. Business school seemed something exciting to do while rejuvenating my career and injecting a fresh lease of life. It would open a lot more doors in a variety of industries. And I personally think I'm better at managing people than doing the work myself :-) But more than anything else, the payscales at top 10 MBA programs sounded very very attractive. An MBA from Kellogg has the ability to put me in a completely different career and payscale trajectory.

Ofcourse, its not always chocolates and strawberries. MBA recruitment - more than any other degree - depends heavily on the current economy. So if things go downhill by 2009 when I graduate, I might come to rue the decision. Also, I'll be paying off those loans for quite a few years.

The other thing that could potentially go wrong is the fact that I don't have a GC yet. So unless my wife gets her GC before I graduate, I will be left to the vagaries of the whole H1 quota thing going around. Another excellent article here about the issues international students face after graduating from top MBA programs because of the H1 quota. So this is definitely somewhat of a gamble. But I couldn't wait forever for my GC before I start my MBA. Age is a factor as well as the right moment in your career to jump on to the MBA bandwagon. As the article mentions, I could always take an international assignment for a year before I get a fresh H1B. As I write this article, there is a lot of talk about the senate reaching an agreement on a new bipartisan immigration bill. Whether this will help educated legal immigrants - like most Indians - is still up in the air and should become clear soon.

Yes, there are a lot of impediments along the way. But I feel these are cosmetic issues, and can always be circumvented with some planning and foresight. When you think about it, not too many people get an opportunity to do a top 10 MBA program. It requires a lot of dedication and concerted effort to get admitted into one. In the long run, I do believe that my decision will be vindicated.

Heelys shoes!

2007-05-16T10:57:00.000-05:00

The other day, I was shopping with my wife at Sam's club when a mom and her son passed us pushing a shopping cart. Actually, the mom was doing all the pushing, while the son was just skating on his Heelys shoes. This got me thinking. In a land that already has 12 million obese children, and more sitting on the fence, is it really a good idea to introduce wheels into regular sneakers? For most kids, walking is the only exercise they get all day. Infact, walking around in stores and shopping malls picking up high-fat food articles is probably the only time they get to lose some or any calories at all. But now, kids don't even get to do that because some genius found out a way to cut out their only physical activity for the day.

And that's not the only issue I have with the heelys. These shoes are basically physical hazards. If you see someone with roller skates or roller blades, then you are mentally prepared to let them zoom past and are careful not to get in their way. But when you see these kids in regular looking sneakers suddenly taking off at around 15 miles per hour and zig zagging around, it totally puts you off. It is an accident waiting to happen. The other day, one kid went over my wife's foot and didn't even bother to apologize. Needless to say, she'll be the first one to sign this petition. I've become extremely wary and suspicious of all kids around me. I propose that these kids be treated the same as automobile drivers, and be forced to take written and practical tests before they obtain their heelys shoes license. If anything, some kids will atleast find the process cumbersome and so not worth it!

Talking of obesity, I happend to read an article on the NY times the other day, about common (mis)conceptions about dieting and exercise on weight loss. The industry catchline so far has been that if you eat fewer calories than you expend, the net negative calories will eventually and gradually end in weight loss. And that the best way to approach this is through a combination of good diet and exercise. Well, this article brought a completely different spin on this - what seems like a - reasonable approach. After extensive tests on healthy and obese people, a few scientists have discovered an extensive link between your genes and your weight. So if you are obese, but manage to lose weight through dieting and exercise, it would be very hard to maintain it since your body will have the tendency to come back to your "normal" - which in this case is probably a size XXXL - body weight. And if you are thin and want to gain weight, this can be difficult as well.

A brief excerpt from this excellent study:

The researchers concluded that 70 percent of the variation in peoples’ weights may be accounted for by inheritance, a figure that means that weight is more strongly inherited than nearly any other condition, including mental illness, breast cancer or heart disease.

The results did not mean that people are completely helpless to control their weight, Dr. Stunkard said. But, he said, it did mean that those who tend to be fat will have to constantly battle their genetic inheritance if they want to reach and maintain a significantly lower weight.

The findings also provided evidence for a phenomenon that scientists like Dr. Hirsch and Dr. Leibel were certain was true — each person has a comfortable weight range to which the body gravitates. The range might span 10 or 20 pounds: someone might be able to weigh 120 to 140 pounds without too much effort. Going much above or much below the natural weight range is difficult, however; the body resists by increasing or decreasing the appetite and changing the metabolism to push the weight back to the range it seeks.

The message is so at odds with the popular conception of weight loss — the mantra that all a person has to do is eat less and exercise more — that Dr. Jeffrey Friedman, an obesity researcher at the Rockefeller University, tried to come up with an analogy that would convey what science has found about the powerful biological controls over body weight.

He published it in the journal Science in 2003 and still cites it:

“Those who doubt the power of basic drives, however, might note that although one can hold one’s breath, this conscious act is soon overcome by the compulsion to breathe,” Dr. Friedman wrote. “The feeling of hunger is intense and, if not as potent as the drive to breathe, is probably no less powerful than the drive to drink when one is thirsty. This is the feeling the obese must resist after they have lost a significant amount of weight.”

So not only are we born poor and stupid, now we are born fat as well. And even if you turn the poor around and somehow talk your way through college, you will still be a rich, smart, but fat slob. So moral of the story is - next time you can't fit in your jeans, blame your genes...

Somebody tell Lata to stop

2007-05-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

Is it just me? Or does anyone else think that its about time Lata Mangeshkar calls it a day and stops crooning in Bollywood? I've never understood India's fascination with Lata. Granted, she might have belted some good numbers in her heydays, which probably lasted for a few years somewhere in the 60s. But as far back as I can remember, I've hated her voice. Consider movies like"Hum App ke hai kaun" or "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge" for example. Great songs spoiled only by some stupid ass' idea to let Lata near the mike. So when Madhuri Dixit is flirting playfully with Salman at a wedding Sangeet or Kajol is frollicking in a mini skirt in the rain, all I can think of is how much better these songs could have been without Lata's shrill vocals. Her voice does not suit either of these actresses, or for that matter, anyone else in bollywood.

With age, her voice has gotten shriller and almost child-like. Its like seeing an 80-yr old walking to school in uniform holding his mother's hands. She's pretending to be someone she's not anymore. Her voice is just high-pitched and screws up even the best of songs. And for some reason, these idiots in Bollywood do not realize that. They still hold her on a pedestal and feel blessed to be touched by her vocal torture.

It has come to a point when I hear Lata's voice, I start imitating her in a female voice, and I've got it almost spot on. Yes, its that bad! There is something to be said about graceful retirement. But somehow, our Bollywood singers and actors never understand this. So you see Amitabh Bachan in every other movie, shaking it with young things and being a playboy and all. Atleast, he's aged gracefully and has fond his niche. The same cannot be said of Lata. She's had her quota of a few thousand songs, and blasted quite a few ear drums. Maybe, just maybe, its time for her to call it a day and spend the rest of her life gazing at Sivaji Ganesan's photo. Anyone with me?

The ordeal of the wisdom tooth

2007-05-09T11:23:00.000-05:00

First off, I apologize to my regular readers (yes, all 3 of them) for my extended absence from the blogging scene. The hiatus was inflicted on me by a combination of increased workload, lack of ideas and a wisdom tooth. Of these 3 factors, I would rate the last one - the wisdom tooth - on top of my list.

I've never understood the concept of wisdom tooth/teeth. If these are essentially useless, shouldn't evolution have taken care of this by now? Besides, what sort of lazy ass wisdom tooth would wait till I am about to enter my 30s before deciding to suddenly erupt, touch my nerve endings and cause me such immense pain?!! This takes away the whole concept of the tooth being called the 'wisdom' tooth, considering I've probably already gained all the wisdom I'm likely to gain in my life. Atleast, I would like to think so. Now, this has resulted in me being the target of a lot of ill-conceived jokes - especially from my wife - about me gaining wisdom quite late in life, and that its better late than never, and more of such lame stuff.

Anyways, enough of my rambling. So I waited out a few days for this pain to go away. And when I realized that it was here for the long haul, I forced myself to make my first dentist appointment in the US (till now, all my dentist visits have been during my India visits). As I feared, the dentist told me, no, ordered me, to remove both my wisdom teeth (although only one was causing trouble). Besides, the neighboring tooth might be contaminated by now and might have to be removed as well. I knew this would happen. My inner paranoid self had always believed that if there's one thing I know about US doctors, it is that they love to suck you into a vortex of procedures, operations, side-effect treatments etc.

So I take the referral and go to a dental surgeon. And the receptionist tells me that I might have trouble getting my insurance company covering both wisdom tooth removals from the same referral. This surprises me. I would think Insurance companies can save a lot of time and money by encouraging multiple procedures for a patient in one sitting. But apparently, they do not like to do this because they cover only 'necessary' extractions, not 'precautionary' ones. So I decide to just pull one tooth out. It was probably the mst painful dental experience of my life. The tooth was growing at a weird angle, and the dentist used a combination of techniques, bordering on the savage, to get it out. There was sawing, pulling, tugging and some old-fashioned yelling till the damned bloody calcium-filled miserable piece of my body came out.

My wife drove me home, with me holding a tissue to plug the blood spurting out of the new hole where the erstwhile wisdom tooth used to be. I was told not to spit, gargle or do anything useful with my mouth until the blod clot forms on the hole. Just about the only good thing that came out of the whole episode was that I could call in sick at work and enjoy a Tamil movie after a long time ('Paruthiveeran' to the curious!). Then began the 'recovery' phase that started with around 50 pills that included painkillers and antibiotics. But when the pain had not abated after a week, I went back and was told I had what is referred to as a 'dry socket inflammation'. This is a very common post-operative procedure, where the blod clot might have moved causing the newly growing tissues to be exposed to food, water etc causing a completely different kind of weird, throbbing pain. So I was given a further dose of another 50 pills, this time consisting of some steroid and another dose of antibiotics.

Through the whole ordeal, the one thing that really irked me was the fact that I had to stay away from alcohol through weekends. This is not easy when you are surrounded by a gang of raging weekend alcoholics and party-goers. I did push the limit with a bit of wine here and a beer there, but for the most part I was a good boy. So eventually, after about a 100 pills and 2 weeks of suffering, I've finished my dosage, the pain is gone and I can go on with the rest of my life.

But only for a few more days. If you had stayed with me through this story, you would realize I still have the other wisdom tooth to go. On top of this, I have another appointment with the dentist, where he will determine if I get to keep the tooth next to the wisdom dude. If not, I will have to face further ignominy, and pull out this innocent bystander as well. So you will forgive me if I have nothing nice to say on the topic of dentists and their happy-go-lucky attitude towards other people's teeth and limb. And if I go into another blogging hiatus, you'll know why...

Perspective

2007-04-20T10:56:00.000-05:00

What a week! While the whole world has been focussing on the VTech massacre, I caught another piece of news from India that put things into perspective for me. I was referring to this. So Richard Gere kissed Shilpa Shetty! So what? She's neither the modicum of so-called 'Indian virtues' nor claims to be one. Who are these people who start demanding apologies and lodge police complaints when it is no business of theirs? Don't they have something better to do with their lives? I saw on TV all these guys burning effigies and dancing around them like illiterate morons. And these images were beamed all over the world. No wonder the westerners still think of India as a elephant-riding snake-charming country. While we are at it, can someone tell me if there is a effigy-making industry somewhere out there I'm unaware of? I mean, our junta keeps burning effigies of cricketers, movie stars and politicians all the time. So I would assume that manufacturing these effigies would be quite a lucrative business proposition. If there is no such effort going on currently, I would like to copyright it.

Coming back to the real story of the week, the Viriginia Tech incident is deeply saddening. But I don't really agree with those who say it is hard to understand what would push someone to commit a crime like this. There are 3 essential ingredients in making this potentially deadly mix:

1. The essential loner who doesn't fit anywhere, not really liked by anyone and hence seen as a freak.
2. A college campus that thrives on peer pressure, where people are either accepted or outsiders and where feelings of hostility and psychotic rage are free to foster and grow without being noticed by anyone
3. A country, that despite repeated demonstrations of the evils of guns, still refuses to bring a reasonable level of gun control. You can walk into a gas station and pick up a rifle and some bullets with an elementary background check.

I'm not trying to trivialize the problem or claim to have a blueprint for identifying potential psycho shooters. The human mind is complex. Though we would like to believe that humans are essentially good and moral, research has been showing us that this might not be always true. Infact, there might be no such thing as free will. And every decision we make is probably shaped by past events, our genes and our environment. When you consider all this, you will realize that any of us could turn into a mass killer if the other factors are right (or wrong!). And even if you identify such individuals, you can't really take any action against them unless a crime has actually been committed. This was the problem faced by VTech authorities. So the only way to stop these crimes is to make it hard for potential criminals to get hold of weapons that can enable them to wreak such havoc.

Ofcourse, the gun control lobby in the US is extremely powerful. If the Columbine shootings could not bring about a change, then I doubt if the VTech shootings are going to achieve anything. In the meantime, our hearts go out to all those innocent victims at Virginia Tech and their families.

Sun Tzu's Art of War

2007-04-11T11:06:00.000-05:00

Do you remember a movie called Wall Street that came out in 1987? It stars Michael Douglas, a bad-ass wallstreet broker who takes a young and impressionable Charlie Sheen under his wings to teach him the fine art of cut-throat wallstreet wheeling and dealing. Its a compelling movie with quite a few interesting sub-plots, backstabbing, treachery, betrayals and what-not. My intention is not to review the movie. However, one of the famous quotes in the movie comes from Gordon Gekko (played by Mike Douglas) when he says "I don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it is ever fought."

That's where I first heard of Sun Tzu and his famous work 'The Art of War'. And when I got into Kellogg, I put this on my list of pre-MBA reads along with the likes of 'The world is flat', 'Who moved my cheese?' etc. I've been reading Sun Tzu the past few days, and it is fascinating to say the least. The book, hailed as the greatest book on military strategy, was apparently written sometime around 500 B.C although there are people who argue that. Sun Tzu - a famous general, warlord, mercenary and military strategist all rolled into one - lays down the fundamentals of war in this book. He covers topics like what guarantees victory, what factors to take into consideration before declaring war, when to advance and retreat, how to deal with terrain and weather and make them your friends, and most importantly, how to win a war without a single drop of blood.

The last point is quite interesting, because this is what Gordon Gekko talks about. Sun Tzu says the smartest generals will never be the most famous ones and the famous ones are never the smartest. This is because only those leaders who have won a lot of wars and shed a lot of blood are likely to become famous. However, the smartest leaders win through strategy and deception, without the necessity for a war and without ever stepping on a battlefield. They mislead their enemies, employ spies and misinformation, break their enemies' allies and partnerships and generally demoralize them. When all this is done, the enemy's land is just waiting to be taken without the need for war. This, Sun Tzu says, is the greatest talent of a war general. In an age of mergers, acquisitions and start-ups, his philosophy still holds true today. And there are a lot of people in wallstreet who read and abide by Sun Tzu because his philosophies can be translated to any war-like environment or politics. Imagine if the US had done some background work before simply marching into Iraq. We could have predicted and destroyed various terrorist groups even before these guys ever thought about infighting and civil wars.

Another point that Sun Tzu repeatedly makes is this - "Be swift, whether in attack or defence". He goes on to add "There has never been a country that has benefited from a protracted war". How true and prescient this sounds, especially in today's context! The protracted Iraq war has drained the US resources and resolve and has destroyed Iraq as well as American morale and economy. This is exactly what Sun Tzu predicted 2500 years ago.

The book is well-written with a lot of interesting examples and anecdotes from ancient Chinese history. China, in those times, was a mess. There were a few major clans who constantly kept warring against each other, gaining and losing land repeatedly. War was a constant way of life. It was put on hold only when the peasants had to sow and reap their farms. Summers were too hot and winters were too cold, so they might temporarily take a break. But on most days, you could wander to a nearby paddy field or mountain pass, and witness a couple of clans with their few hundred thousand peasant-soldiers cutting down each others' limbs and heads. Must've been interesting times!

One of the biggest fans of Sun Tzu was none other than Mao Zedong, or Chairman Mao. He led the Red army to victory against the mighty Nationalist Party of China (that was heavily supported and funded by the US at the time). The book takes excerpts from Mao's own book about war strategy, where he has repeatedly referenced 'Art of War' and how he employed Sun Tzu's ideas at different places to gain unlikely victories. The Red Army starts off with nothing more than a bunch of poor, hungry and disillusioned peasants who are ready to fight against the fat and corrupt establishment. The directives and funding comes from Moscow along with Leninist ideas. Mao rises quickly in the Red Army through his impressive tactics. He improves the morale of his soldiers, and forces the establishment to fight on his own terrain where he quickly demolishes them. He employs a lot of Sun Tzu tricks like misinformation, strategy and hitting weak enemy spots in quick bursts.

Sun Tzu himself seems to have been a freelance military strategy consultant. And ruthless to boot. One episode from the book stands out. A particular king invites Sun Tzu to his palace and asks him to demonstrate an army marching strategy. The king brings out his harem of mistresses to help with the demonstration. Sun Tzu splits the women into 2 groups. He picks two of the king's favorite women to head these groups. Then he issues them a series of instructions on how to follow his marching orders. When he starts the demo and issues his marching orders, the women all start looking at each other and giggling. Undaunted, Sun Tzu admits loudly that if the army does not understand the general's command, it is the general's fault and goes on to repeat his instructions painstakingly. When he starts the demo the second time and shouts out his orders, the women again look at each other and giggle. This time, Sun Tzu declares that if the army does not understand orders the second time, it is time to replace the group leaders. He orders the beheading of the 2 leaders - the king's favorite mistresses. The king, who was watching this demonstration from his balcony, is psyched and comes and pleads with Sun not to harm his girls. Sun Tzu calls him 'weak' in his face and goes ahead with the beheading. He replaces them with two other women. And guess what? This time when he issues his marching orders, there is not a pip or a wrong step from the women. That's the kind of man Sun Tzu was.

Ultimately, what matters is his approach to war. Sun Tzu says "war is a serious matter and should be approached as such". And that "you should know thyself and thy enemies before you step onto a battlefield". These might sound trivial or redundant. But history is full of examples of botched military operations and ill-timed strategies. Kudos to Sun Tzu for figuring all this out before anyone else. This is not a book that everyone will enjoy. But if you push past some of the tedious stuff, there are some real pearls of wisdome hidden in there.

Malakar Mania!

2007-04-06T14:05:00.000-05:00

Are you asking me why would I be writing about a show and performer I have absolutely no interest in?

Why not? Everybody is doing it. Why shouldn't I?

Without watching a single performance of Sanjaya Malakar, I have gathered the following titbits about him. Some of them might be true and some of them might not. Readers of this blog should know by now that I don't care much for veracity.

1. He's the worst contender to come this far on American Idol

2. He's the most yahoo-ed and google-ed American Idol contestant ever

3. Simon Cowell has threatened to quit of Sanjaya wins (I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this happens. If Simon quits, Idol will stink and sink. And not a day too soon!)

4. Along the lines of point #3, there is a web-site now http://www.ifsanjayawins.com/. Apparently, people come up with the worst thing that could happen to them, and put this down after "If Sanjaya wins ...". For example, here are a couple:

If Sanjaya wins, I will go on a date with Michael Richards to a 50 Cent concert.
If Sanjaya wins, I will tongue wash all the toilets in Grand Central Station.

Well, that's about it. Sanjaya already has a wiki page. I wasn't surprised. But what shocked me was that his sister Shyamali's name was mentioned with her own wiki reference. Yes, that's right. She's the hooters girl who got eliminated early. Her only claim to fame being that she was an Indian girl working at hooters. And ofcourse, she's Sanjaya's sister. Thankfully, when I went to her wiki page, I found this:

It is proposed that this article be deleted, because of the following concern:

Lack of noteworthiness warranting its own page

Thank God for those wiki soldiers (read 'editors' or 'gatekeepers') marching on tiressly bringing some order and sanity to our lives.

It is a well-known fact that past American Idol contenders have been 'carried' by certain segments of population irrespective of how they actually perform each week. The public pick their favorite contestant right at the start of the season and continue voting and canvassing for him/her through the season. If only, these leaders of tomorrow put some of this thought and energy into presidential elections.

Now, the million-dollar question is whether desis are carrying him in this competition. We desis, as everyone knows, are hypocrites. We cannot stand another desi getting popular, showing off, doing un-desi things, being talked about, bringing all Indians a bad name, everyone stereotyping Indians etc ("do you go to school on elephants?"). We'll be trashing them and distancing ourselves. At the same time, we'll also be proud of having 'one of our own' enter the mainstream consciousness of this country. So which way do we sway in Sanjaya's case? I do believe that desis who've been regularly watching the show and voting for idols are firmly supporting Sanjaya. This comes from a carefully mutated genetic tendency to "stick to your own" that has been the boon and bane for us desis in this country. How else would you explain a mediocre singer like Sanjaya making it thus far in this competition?

Here's another thought. Maybe, in this show - as in real life - its not always the best singers who come out successful. Its the complete package - talent, showmanship, looks, age, style, gender etc. And probably Sanjaya has hit something there that we aren't aware of.

Well, whatever the reason be, I don't begrudge Sanjaya his 15 minutes in the limelight. Regardless of what the media, public and Simon think of him, he's been smiling his way to the top every week. Or so I hear! You have to give it up to the guy for believing in himself and not taking shit from anyone. Maybe if he makes it to the final show, I might just get myself to watch him. Secretly, ofcourse...

Cargasmic!!!

2007-04-06T13:29:00.000-05:00

How would you like to drive at around 450 kmph in your car? Ever wonder what it would feel like? Saw this video and went bonkers. Take a look...

April Fools Day

2007-04-03T10:06:00.000-05:00

There are 3 characters in this story - the husband (X), the wife (Y) and the husband's elder sister (Z). The alphabets in the parantheses are not real names ofcourse. Read on...

Wife calls up husband's sister.

Wife: Hi Z. How you doing?

Husband's sister: I'm good Y. How about you?

Wife: I guess I'm ok. Listen, have you heard from X today? Has he called you?

Husband's sister: No. Why, what happened?

Wife: We had a small fight and he's gone missing.

Husband's sister: Oh really? Since when?

Wife: Since yesterday night.

Husband's sister (now a bit alarmed): What are you saying?

Wife: Yeah, he left in a huff yesterday night and hasn't come home all night. I tried calling all our friends here, but noone's heard from him.

Husband's sister: What a bum! How can he be so immature! He really needs to grow up and sort his problems out like an adult. You don't worry. I'll try to track him down. And when I get hold of him, I'm gonna blast him. you sit tight.

Wife: Thanks Z. I knew I could count on you.

Husband's sister Z now calls up the husband X.

Husband's sister: Hey, what you doin'?

Husband: Nothin' much. Just chillin' at home.

Husband's sister: Don't lie to me. I know you're not at home. Where you at?

Husband: Err... In a hotel. How did you know?

Husband's sister: Y said you guys had a fight and she's very worried about you. What's going on?

Husband: Its all her fault. She keeps fighting over little things.

Husband's sister: That's not an excuse. You need to deal with this like an adult. You can't just leave your wife like that and walk out. Will you go home now?

Husband: (silence)

Husband's sister: What? Promise me you'll go home now.

Husband (relunctantly): Okay.

Husband's sister: Good.

Husband's sister hangs up. In a minute, she proceeds to call the husband's wife Y back to update her on his findings. She's feeling quite proud of herself, having presided over and solved this domestic dispute with a mature head and heavy hand.

Husband's sister: Hello?

Husband: Hello!

Husband's sister ( a little confused since she had called Y's cell phone): Hi 'pisaasu' (monster in tamil)... what are you doing here?

Husband and wife in chorus: APRIL FOOL!!! APRIL FOOL!!!

Husband's sister: YOU GUYS SUCK!!!

So this is how my wife W (one of the most devious minds to walk the planet) and I fooled my cousin sister on April 1.

The Namesake

2007-03-28T10:33:00.000-05:00

When I read 'The Namesake' by Jhumpa Lahiri a while ago, I was very impressed. She had unerringly captured the emotional turbulence and a sense of not belonging anywhere that millions of immigrants go through. I even placed this book above her Pulitzer prize winning 'Intepreter of Maladies'. However, when I heard that Mira Nair was planning to make a movie out of this, I was a bit skeptical. This was the sort of ficiton that does not lend itself easily to a movie screenplay. There is no plot or twist. No definite start or end. And infact, no moral or message. It was with a sense of curiosity that I went to watch The Namesake this weekend with my wife and a bunch of friends.

And what I saw was beyond all my expectations. To say Mira Nair has done justice to the book is an understatement. She has brought the book to the masses without losing the nuances and the subtle touches that Jhumpa Lahiri excels in - be it Ashima asking Ashoke "Do you want me to say I love you?" or Gogol's naani asking her servant to follow him when he goes jogging in the dilapidated streets of Calcutta.

The next 2 paragraphs might contain some spoilers.

The cast is probably the biggest strength of this movie. Irrfan as Ashoke and Tabu as Ashima have given incredible performances. Infact, Tabu has completely stolen the show from Kal Pen who plays Gogol. My favorite scene in the movie was when Tabu hears about her husband's death on the phone. Her initial reaction is that this has to be a mistake. Soon, she's slowly plunged into darkness and dispair and tries to fix this by turning on all the lights in the house. Her thumb starts twitching uncontrollably, but tears fail her. You sense the feeling of claustrophobia that slowly creeps up on her as she runs out of the garage and lets out a heart-rending scream. Later, her transition from being a meek clueless Indian housewife to being a strong maternal presence is shown beautifully. I can't imagine anyone other than Tabu handling this role.

Irrfan and Kal Penn are not too far behind. One of the most poignant moments in the book is the scene where Ashoke explains to Gogol the significance of his name. This has again been captured wonderfully well in the movie, with both actors underplaying the scene with subtle expressions and body language. You can feel a special bond being established between father and son in that particular moment. Gogol struggles his whole life with his name, something that Jhumpa apparently went through as well. Also, his attempts to make sense of his Indian parents and upbringing and balancing it with his American lifestyle have been shown much more realistically and starkly than the usual ABCD flicks we come across.

The photography and editing is very good. Calcutta has been shown as the run down and dirty city it was in the seventies and eighties, while they have thankfully not glorified NewYork too much like other movies based in the city. People who've already read the book will notice that the switch to NY from Boston has been made, probably because NY brings out the All-American flavor in movies better. The family's trip to Taj Mahal, where Gogol finally decides he wants to be an architect, is remarkable for the breathtaking angles in which the camera has captured the Taj.

One of the toughest things to do when translating such an epic book (that spans multiple generations) into a movies is to figure out which moments to dwell on and what pages to cut. Here again, Mira Nair shows her touch. So, we never see Pierre in the movie. The 'affair' is shown through a note written on a book, a phone call in French and ultimately a chance showdown between husband and wife. However, there was one thing I found lacking. A big part of Gogol's childhood were the house parties, fraternizing with other Bengali families and feeling that he did not belong in this setting. He was a very lonely child growing up. This has not been brought out very well in the movie, even though they do show their Bengali parties with their fried samosas and drunken uncles.

The bottomline is that this is a very well-made movie with a great cast, sensitive direction and a very real story that a lot of people can recognize themselves with. A few of my friends had never read the book, and they ended up really enjoying the movie as well. So I guess reading the book is not really a pre-requisite to viewing this movie, although it did help me understand the subtleties of each scene better. Ultimately, the movie - just like the book - leaves you with a feeling of emptiness as well as a ray of hope about the future. It does not preach. But it does tell you the importance of understanding your past and that its never late to make a fresh start. As the movie ended and the audience started filing out the theater, there was complete silence, something you don't associate with an Indian audience (although there were quite a few foreigners). Each of them appeared to be drowned in his/her own thoughts. Its the kind of movie that leaves its mark on you whether you like it or not. As for me, I was ready to go home and call my parents in India.

Picking up the pieces

2007-03-26T10:17:00.000-05:00

Now that India's 2007 WC campnaign is over, its time to pick up the pieces and move on with the rest of our mundane lives. But not before I put my cricketing acumen and expertise to use to figure out what really went so drastically wrong for India. Since I had predicted a semifinal spot for India, let me first take a minute to eat my words.

Burp!

Let's get on with our analysis, shall we?

What went wrong?

Fitness and fielding:
Everyone knows India had one of the weakest fielding outfits in the cup. The other one was Pakistan. Do you think its a coincidence that these two were the first to get eliminated from the tournament? Ofcourse not. There are no coincidences. An example: India has just reduced Srilanka to a precarious 120 odd for four wickets. Two new players are at the crease. And what does Silva do? He keeps hitting the balls straight to the fielders and sneaking singles and doubles. Zaheer tries a quite simple one-handed pickup at the boundary, and falls flat on his face and gives away valuable runs. Munaf Patel stops the ball and sits down near the boundary, slowly gets up and finally releases the ball. There must've been enough time to run five runs. The only guy attacking the ball and inducing some fear in the batsmen is Yuvraj Singh. If we had gotten one more wicket at this stage, we could've reduced SL to within 220. Instead, we end up chasing 255. Robin Uthappa, who used to very fast on the field, has visibly put on a few tires around the midriff. And please do not give India's age as an example. Jayasuriya and Muralithyaran were scorching the turf.

Seniors and superstars:
What's the advantage of picking up seniors over talented newbies? Everyone says its the 'experience'. So what do our mucho experienced seniors do? Saurav ends up handing his wicket on a platter when he should've stuck it out and let Sehwag get on with the job. Sachin awkwardly puts one leg out and inside edges as he has done on numerous occasions. Shouldn't he be learning from his mistakes? Sehwag, who was playing so well, tries to run it down third man when there is a slip in place. The 'best batting lineup on paper' has become a sarcastic tagline. It says we're only good on paper, and hardly ever on the field. Yes, we have people with tens of thousands of runs. Bullies on easy pitches against crappy teams in meaningless matches. But what happens when we face the music in a must-win situation against quality opposition in the only tournament that counts? We come unstuck. Its time to look beyond our overpaid superstars and back some youngsters, if we can actually find some!

Opening conundrum:
Saurav and Sachin. Sachin and Sehwag. Sehwag and Uthappa. Saurav and Sehwag. Saurav and Uthappa. Are you kidding me? This reads like a game of musical chairs! Every other team has had a settled opening pair for atleast a year. India comes in not knowing which pair we're gonna use any given day. Does it ever occur to Chappell or Dravid that there has to be some chemistry and understanding between openers? This was the world cup and we were trying out new combinations here like this were some kind of gully cricket. And invariably, we lost 3-4 wickets within the first 15 overs.

Harbhajan and the fifth bowler:
In ODI these days, you need 5 bowlers or atleast 4 bowlers and an all-rounder. We had 3 bowlers, 1 non-performer in Harbhajan and a bunch of undependable tweakers. One of the reasons for India's phenomenal form and unbeaten run a couple of years ago was the rise of Irfan Pathan as an allrounder of substance. I know he's not been in form recently. But if you brought him all the way to the WC, shouldn't he get to play atleast against Bangladesh? And he would've definitely scored more runs than Uthappa because he has a more mature head on this shoulders. Harbhajan continued his completely unimaginative bowling and predictable doosras. You only have to see Murali in action to figure out how effective a spinner can be. We need to unearth a few allrounders or hope Pathan gets back to his old form. I envy other teams that have Jacob Oram, Andrew Symonds or Jayasuriya.

Where's the fighting spirit?
Everytime we hail the arrival of the fearless 'new' generation, we are soon proved very wrong as they inevitably fail in pressure situations like their senior colleagues. Wasn't Dhoni supposed to have nerves of steal? Wasn't Yuvraj supposed to be India's answer to Michael Bevan and finish off games on his own? Everyone has a temporary lose of form or an occasional rush of stupidity. But one thing that has always been predictable about India is that we will fail in pressure situations. The bigger the game the harder we fall. As a race, are we a bunch of pussies? Is there something in their upbringing that makes the Aussies mentally tougher than us? Is it the way our domestic cricket is organized, encouraging a lot of meaningless games and bullies? Is it the pressure exerted on these youngsters by the constant media attention, corporate sponsors and insane expectations from billions of cricket fanatics? How do we incorporate mental toughness in our next generation of cricketers? I don't have an answer, but this needs to be address by people who know better.

Where do we go from here?

Youngsters and bench strength:
Its time to go back to building a team for the future. Bring back the Rainas, encourage the Karthicks and keep faith in the Pathans. Its time to bid farewells to the Agarkars. What happened to D. Balaji and Nehra? Another thing we tend to do is pick out brilliant talent from the under-19 squad and drop them into the high-pressure world of international cricket and hope they succeed. Most of these youngsters haven't even had a chance to play domestic cricket, finetune their techniques and gauge how good they really are in pressure situations. So time and again, we see them start off well before the other teams work out how to handle them. After that, they get dropped and go back to obscurity. Pathan and Raina were excellent examples. Not everyone is a Kapil Dev who can soak up pressure as 17 year olds. And let's face it. There's a lot more pressure, media exposure and money now than there was during Kapil's days. Its time to start the rebuilding process, improve bench strength, rotate players and keep faith in them. Also, we should be giving chances to the not-so-young who have ground it out in domestic games and preformed consistently for years. They invariably have more mental strength and value the opportunity more. Remember Robin Singh? He was one of the toughest players we've ever had.

Back to the basics:
As redundant and cliched it sounds, we just have to go back to the basics. Chappell and Dravid kept talking about 'processes', but when it came to the crunch they panicked and just went back to the old Indian ways. How many long-term prospects have we really discovered since WC 2003? The only ones I can think of are an injury-prone Munaf and unfortunate Karthick (since he'll always play second fiddle to Dhoni) and a clueless Pathan. Sreesanth had potential, but is still raw and leaks runs. But we should give him his chances. As the WC backlash continues, inevitably, heads will roll. I hope the board, selectors, coach, captain and senior players sit together and talk about what is good for Indian cricket, rather thn what will satiate disappointed and blood-hungry public. How do we ease out senior players and bring in new ones? Saurav will probably quit. But I think Sachin and Dravid still have a lot to offer. Sachin's role has to be redefined. And he should make his 'experience' count instead of being a liability to the team when questions are asked in pressure situations. We need to rotate our bowlers. Munaf must be told to improve his fielding or leave. Its probably time for Agarkar to slip away as well. Zaheer should not go back to the old complacent ways.

Improve domestic cricket:
This is probably the only long-term solution. Reduce the number of teams, and make every match count. Look at how 7-8 teams fight for the Sheffield shield in Australia. Improve the pitches and make them sporting, instead of batsmen with mediocre talents bullying around the bowlers. Reward good performances in domestic cricket with money, sponsorship and a place in the national team. We hear complaints all the time that its extremely hard for a domestic player to get into the national team after 25 or 26, as the selectors are increasingly relying on the under-19 players. Keep an open mind. Who knows when we'll discover a 31-year old Michael Hussey?

Bottomline:
Ofcourse, we can go on and on. But we all know that none of this is ever going to happen. We'll muddle and flounder. We'll discuss endlessly. We'll develop a roadmap. But close to WC 2011, we'll panic, there will be calls to stop 'experimenting' and go with experience. We'll throw out all our 'processes' and bring back past 'stars'! There will be more burning of effigies and destruction of players' houses. Australia will keep winning, Srilanka will be the top team in the subcontinent and Bangladesh will emerge a cricketing force to reckon with like SL did in the eighties and nineties. The agony of being an Indian cricket fan! I just wish I could give up cricket and take up American football/baseball/basketball like all my desi-turned-American friends. Sigh!

WC quickie 3 - 6 X 6 = massacre

2007-03-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

The setting: Dan van Bunge (Netherlands) bowling his fourth over to Herschelle Gibbs (South Africa) in a world cup league match.

Van Bunge (to himself): If only I could get this Gibbs bugger out, I'll be in for world cup glory. I could go to the RLD in Amsterdam and get any girl for free. Let me try temmpting him down the track.

29.1 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Violence! Gibbs charged down the track and hoicked it over long on.

Van Bunge (to himself): The shitfaced wanker! No worries. One six does not make a bad over. He'll be full of overconfidence now. Let me float something up, get him to hit on the up and someone will surely catch him.

29.2 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Murder! Floated on the leg and middle stump line and Gibbs sends it soaring over long-off.

Van Bunge (now a little distraught): Okay, this over is not really going according to plan. Can't really flight on these goddamned small Caribbean grounds. I'll just bowl 'em flat and leave the rest to God.

29.3 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Carnage! Flatter one this time but it makes no difference to Gibbs. He just stands there and delivers. This one also has been sucked over long off

Van Bunge (now shit scared): What the f$@#!!! This guy is crazy. Oh shit! What am I gonna say to all those people whole garlanded me and sent me off at the Amsterdam railway station. Everyone from the town cobbler to the carpenter is gonna spit on me. I just hope I can keep it quiet for the rest of the over. I hope I don't screw it up by bowling a low full toss or some similarly awful delivery. God help me!

29.4 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Wah Wah! Low full toss and guess where this went Yep. A slap slog and it went over deep midwicket! He is going to go for 6 sixes in this over!

Van Bunge (on the verge of a nervous breakdown): You gotta be kiddin' me. I've lost my reputation, probably my job and I'm quite sure my wife has left me by now. I wish I had brought a white hankerchief I could wave at him. I wish I could just sit down and cry. I don't want to do this. I don't belong here!

29.5 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, Short in length, on the off stump line and Gibbs rocks back and swat-pulls it over wide long off. Simply amazing. What a batsman. This is pure violence!

Van Bunge (past the point of no return): Jesus! I hope no one noticed that I've peed a bit in my pants. Not my fault really! Noone told me this was possible when I took up cricket as a midlife crisis. I've got myself into one deep shit. How do I explain this to my 2 sons who were looking up to me proudly? When the divorce judge sees replays of this over, I'm not even going to get weekend custody. If there is a God, this would be a good time to intervene. I'm just going to bowl this one wide and I hope Gibbs lets it go.

29.6 van Bunge to Gibbs, SIX, He has done it! One-day record. No one has hit six sixes in a row. GIbbs stands alone in that zone. And the minnow bashing continues! Full and outside off and bludgeoned over deep midwicket

Van Bunge (to himself): Oh well! Atleast I have that 'weed' in my hotel room. Let me get high and kill myself! This is a cruel cruel world.

PS: Yes, this really happened today!

PPS: Given Gibb's altercations with bookies and match-fixers, has anyone looked into the bookie market to see if a big bet had been laid on someone scoring six sixers in this game? Just a thought.

PPPS: Updated with video below. Enjoy!

The Wedding - Ceremony

2007-03-12T11:25:00.000-05:00

After the energy and the euphoria of the cocktail party, the actual wedding ceremony had a hard act to follow. But the toned down affair was probably a welcome change from the partying the previous day. Big W had rightly planned the wedding the next evening. Although other reasons were cited, I have no doubt that this was meant to give all the party-goers some time to recover from their hangovers and get into shape to wish the happy couple during the most important part of the celebrations. An early morning affair - like most South Indian weddings - would certainly have found the wedding hall near empty, the bride's father a little disoriented and the bride groom most certainly missing.

I got up the day of the wedding with severe stomach cramps. Whether it was due to the amount of alcohol consumption or the spicy food in the chaat stall, or as my uncle (who incidentally is a doctor) put it "its just wedding day anxiety" is up to conjucture. However, as I joined the rest of my family at the breakfast table that day, it was with some serious pain, a tinge of self-pity and a bucketload of advice from everyone who was anyone. I probably took 15 pills ranging in color from green to purple, swallowed a few pounds of ayurvedic medicine and worked on a few more strips of pills provided by my previously-mentioned Doctor chithappa.

Big W had scheduled one last lunch for the families to socialize before the evening's wedding. I wore my Kurta Pajama and headed out to the place mentioned in the printout (The 'printout ' was an ode to Big W's organizational skills. It had the schedule, place, timings etc for the entire 3 days and there was a copy in each of the hotel rooms we occupied). I was finally wearing an Indian outfit, and as many kind observers mentioned, was apparently finally looking like a "maapillai" (bridegroom). The lunch was at a classy Gujarati restaurant that was brightly lit and had a tasteful traditional decor. My table was occupied by Ram, Gokul, ET, SP and my brother Chandru. Kunal, my would-be brother-in-law took up the other spot. Being a Gujarati, he gave us the nitty gritty on each of the Gujju dishes that were being served on the thali and the assortment of cups on it. We were very grateful to him for this. My stomach cramps came in waves, every 5 minutes or so. But that did not stop me from cleaning up the plate and washing it down with glasses of buttermilk in the intervening periods. There were tentative plans of going shopping with my friends after lunch, but I was still tired out from lack of sleep and my physical ailment. I decided to save my energy for the evening's ceremony and prompty went to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow in my hotel room.

Evening came and I got up refreshed and feeling much better. I had a quick shower and got into my ornamental Sherwani. Suffice it to say that I was the cynosure of all eyes. Okay, okay, I might be exaggerating a bit here. A sleek black skoda decked up with flowers was waiting to take me to the wedding hall. As I entered, my mother-in-law came to take my aarthi. For some reason she asked me to look up and managed to pull my nose before I even realized it. This was the start of numerous funny customsand rituals that evening. Then, W came out, incredibly beautiful and decked in a breath-taking designer-made 'Lehenga Choli' that probably had a million hand-made decorations every square inch. The combination of jewellery, assortment of bangles and mehendi all combined to make her costume very rich. In short, she was a sight to behold. As she garlanded me and welcomed me into the wedding hall, I couldn't help thinking that I had to be the luckiest guy on the planet. The aunties had somehow managed to outdo their cocktail party costumes from the previous day. There was an eye-popping amount of jewellery on display, probably close to the GDP of a small country in Africa.

For those who are unfamiliar with north indian wedding ceremonies, there is an incredibly funny and totally useless ritual which, for lack of a better title, I will call the "stealing the mojri". Here is a brief description:
1. The groom wears a traditional mojri (pronounced 'mojdi', a traditional rajasthani shoe not unlike a jodhpuri) with his Sherwani.
2. After he comes to the wedding hall and before he enters the actual ceremony area, he has to take these off (the mojri, not the sherwani!).
3. As soon as he does that, his shoes are stolen by the bride's family, friends, sahelis and an assortment of giggly girls.
4. Since walking around shoeless is considered inappropriate and embarrassing, the groom has to negotiate with the aforementioned gang to get his mojris back. This usually involves a sizeable bribe that gets divided amongst all thed shoe-stealers.

As you can see, this is a very effective money-making scheme. And after the "paisa dedo joothe lelo" song from "Hum Aapke Hai Kaun", this event has acquired cult status (although Lata Mangeshkar has tried her best to make it sound unappealling!). My dear mother-in-law had warned me about this incident beforehand 'coz she thought I was a poor innocent South Indian boy, a 'bakra' (goat) waiting to be massacred by the evil, guileful and experienced friends of the bride. After considering a variety of alternatives including keeping a spare pair of slippers, I finally decided to rope in the help of my own family and friends - my cousins Swetha and Sumi would be the primary guardians of the shoes, closely supported by SP, Chandru and ET. I promised them riches beyond their wildest dreams (read 'a few hundred rupees each') if they grabbed the shoes before the other party did and manage to guard them with their lives till the ceremony was over.

As I was escorted to the ceremony platform, I realized that W's best friend Rashu had closely followed me and had somehow managed to cordon of my 'shoe'guards. With a very sweet and innocent smile, she was advising me to take off my shoes before getting onto the ceremony platform. I smelt trouble and immediately called for my gang who managed to come just in the nick of time. As I stood there, they started tugging on my mojris. This was quite embarrassing to say the least. I was trying to resist this for a while and even managed a "I've never had so many women at my feet!" that elicited some guffaws. However, very soon it degenerated into a free-for-all with everybody and her sister getting into the act. I could feel people scratching my legs and arms while W's elder sister was busy biting everyone around (I can produce Chandru and ET on the witness stand). For the initial couple of minutes, I was enjoying the attention. But now, I was scared for my life and limb. All I wanted to do was get out of those shoes, but this was proving to be quite difficult what with everyone staking a claim to them. Very soon I was toppled over and managed to land safely on a nearby chair. Eventually, the mojris were gone and I didn't bother to find out where they were. There were more important matters to attend to - my hand was actually bleeding as I entered the ceremony platform. Thankfully, there was a lot of oil and ghee around for the occasion, and the pundit was kind enough to apply some of them on my wound and staunch the flow of blood.

The ceremony itself was short and sweet, punctuated by quite a few misunderstandings as a result of the communication gap between the families. There was one occasion when the pundit thought my family wanted to perform a ritual, while my family was waiting on the pundit. So there they were, both sides patiently waiting for the other side to make a move while W and I sat there scratching our heads. Finally, W, with her usual presence of mind realized what was going on and cleared the air of mystery amidst much amusement. There was also the time when my family wrongly thought it was time to tie the knot and all of them were ready with flowers and rice in their hands. We had to ask them to relax and wait a bit while we finished up with some mantras first. I was happy we didn't bring along our own pundit. Matters would have gotten totally out of hand. There was another occasion when W's mom gives her away to me symbolically. Just when the mom was about to walk away, some aunties asked me to go grab her sari. As inappropiate and completely out of place this sounded to me, I was getting used to these funny rituals. Even warming up to them. So I ran and grabbed her sari's pallu while she tried to run away. Apparently, this was a metaphor for "please don't leave me alone with your daughter" or something to that effect. But the photo did come out quite funny!

Eventually, I tied the knot and walked around the fire with W, and we were declared married. Though this was the exact moment we'd been getting ready for over the last few months, it just sneaked past us. It was not exactly the kind of emotionally overpowering and intense moment that I had been expecting. It really took time to sink in. Following the ceremony, people dispersed to socialize and sample the buffet dinner down the hall. W and I walked around getting everyone's blessings, accepted gifts and posed for photos. Finally, following dinner, we were taken for a special photo op session where we were asked to stand in incredibly filmi poses that would capture this day for eternity.

And that's the story of my Tam Brahm-Sindhi wedding in Gujarat. This was not just a wedding between W and me. Rather, this was (is) a bridge between 2 completely different cultures, attitudes and customs. And it is a testimonial to not only how broad-minded our society has become, but to how delightful the outcome can be when this happens. When we finally wrapped up that evening, W and I were utterly exhausted. We still had a hectic schedule ahead of us. The next day, we were flying to Kerala for a short honeymoon. Following this, a brief stop at Chennai to attend a reception thrown by my parents before flying back to the US the very same night. But all that's probably a story for another day.

PS: If you made it thus far in the post, you might be wondering what happened to my mojris. I had earlier softened Rashu up by showing her my bloody hand and laying the blame squarely on her and her ilk. Then, I sent Chandru and SP to negotiate with her. They must've pretended not to know Hindi or Math or both. But they got me an awesome deal. I'm not going to reveal the amount here and spoil it for future shoe-stealers :-)

WC quickie 2 - ICC's schedule faux pas

2007-03-08T15:16:00.000-06:00

A friend brought this article to my attention today. In short, in the official schedule that ICC has published for the Super 8 stage, our beloved ICC has already predicted who the super 8 teams are going to be, even before the first ball has been bowled and the first swear word has been uttered. Is the ICC being so smug and supremely confident about the 'quality' of the lower ranked teams or is it just being practical and making sure it schedules the BIG matches well to maximize revenue? This usually involves scheduling India's matches on weekends, which is exactly what ICC has done. What happened to the "encourage the minnows!" and "spread cricket" catch phrases that ICC has been trumpeting around? I'm sure ICC will correct its faux pas once this snowballs into a full-fledged uproar. But for now, its just fun to sit by the sidelines to see an 'official' body making a fool of itself. If ever it wants to land on its foot from this episode, it definitely needs to look for the pre-mentioned foot in the deep recesses of its own ass.

Here are a few excerpts from the article:

And if you are planning on catching all of India's Super Eights action, and were waiting for the end of the group phase before making your bookings, don't bother: India will play Australia on Saturday March 31; New Zealand on Monday April 2; South Africa on Saturday April 7; England on Wednesday April 11; and the West Indies on Thursday April 19.

How do I know? Because the ICC the global body that conducts the World Cup -- told me so, right here on its official site.

There you go, the entire Super Eight schedule, all nicely laid out for you -- so now, you don't have to bother going through 13 sleepless nights, and 24 pointless games, to figure out when the big boys play each other.

You do realize the irony, here? The ICC conducts this tournament; the ICC picked the teams and drew up the schedule; the ICC brought together 16 teams and, per its schedule, will spend the first 13 days of the Cup, and 24 matches, to decide who the eight teams in the Super Eight round-robin stage should be.

And the selfsame ICC, by publishing this schedule, effectively tells you it is all eyewash; that eight of the teams in the only global competition cricket has are there purely to make up the numbers; that they are so below par that even before the first ball is bowled in the World Cup, it has drawn up its schedule for phase two.

WC quickie 1 - Bermuda's Big man

2007-03-05T14:53:00.000-06:00

Meet Dwayne Leverock, Bermuda's key spin weapon. On the wrong side of 35, this guy can apparently tweak the ball pretty well or hit it a long way. He weighs in at close to 20 stones. At a conversation scale of 1 stone = 14 pounds = 6.5 kgs, you do the math. And did you know Bermuda is in the same group as India? It would be fun to see the fear in Sachin's eyes when this not-so-gentle giant covers the entire sidescreen with his huge head while delivering the ball!

And you thought poor Ramesh Powar was big. Shame on you!

The Indian World Cup Squad

2007-02-27T10:57:00.000-06:00

Yes, this is a customary post on the Indian word cup squad announcement, albeit a tad late. Just because I have nothing better to do today. As most cricket observers know, cricket has 3 main departments - batting, bowling and fielding. So let's approach India's strengths and weeknesses in these 3 areas.

Batting: I think we're at a really good place as far as the batting is concerned. As it happens with every world cup in recent memory, Sachin comes roaring back to form on the biggest stage. And this probably being his last cup, I really think this tournament is going to belong to him. Add to that good ol' Saurav who's never been in better form. I almost wrote him off with a eulogy a while ago. But to my credit, I did say that with dada, you never know what's around the corner. Rahul was struggling a bit but seems to have found some form. The same goes for Yuvraj returning after an injury. I happened to watch the Chennai innings of Robin Uthappa, and I have to confess that it was some of the cleanest hitting I've seen in recent times. The bloke is just explosive, and I would love to see a few more cameos from him in the world cup. Dhoni has added an element of solidity to his otherwise 'meri maa ki kasam... teri koon pee jaunga' kind of hitting. Dinesh Karthik is one of my favorite batsman on the team now. Not because he's from Chennai, but because he has consistently come through everytime the team has asked questions of him or threw him a challenge. He's very composed and has all the shots, and by all accounts he's a tiger on the field. The only unpredictable person on the list is Sehwag. I wasn't very thrilled when he was picked up for the cup, but I guess it was always on the cards with his reputation. I would rather see Robin and Ganguly open, with Sehwag in the middle. All in all, the batting looks healthy, full of experience and variety and very much in form.

Bowling: With Zaheer Khan roaring back to form, Agarkar's wicket-taking ability and the metronomic Munaf Patel keeping it consistent, the fast bowling seems to be in safe hands. However, none of these bowlers seem to have the ability to run through a line-up, say like the Lankan slinger Lasith Malinga. But atleast we have a trio of solid performers who are without injuries and therapies. Irfan Pathan would have brought tremendous balance to the team in form, but I still think he could prove useful if he can complete 5-6 overs of tidy medium pace and some explosive hitting at the top. Sreesanth has yet to prove his one-day mettle and might not get to play too much unless one of the front-line bowlers get injured. The spin department is manned by thr old warhorses Harbhajan and Kumble. And unless Harbhajan starts leaking runs, I don't think Kumble will get a chance to tweak anything but door knobs. We have some decent part-time options like Sachin, Sehwag, Yuvraj and ofcourse Ganguly. The bowling looks okay, but can leak runs on an offday.

Fielding: This is probably what's gonna bring us down in the World cup. Imagine a field with 'misfield' Munaf manning long leg, an overweight Sehwag at cover and aging legs like Sachin, Saurav and Rahul around the outfield. I guess you would agree with me when I say that not many teams are going to lose sleep worrying about where they are going to get their singles against India. To their credit, Sachin still has a powerful throw, Rahul is a great slip fielder, and Saurav has come back fitter and faster. We have a few good specimens like Yuvraj, Uthappa and Karthik, and we need to make sure these guys are used well. And behind the wickets, Dhoni is safe though unspectacular. All said and done, we probably have the oldest and worst fielding outfit of all the big teams in the Cup. And when Rahul says our batting and bowling have to make up the few extra runs lost in our fielding, it sends shivers through my spine. A good fielding outfit can not only save runs, but can build up pressure to provide wickets and breakthroughs. This is what we would miss with the exclusion of men like Kaif and Raina.

Probable 11: Ganguly, Uthappa, Sehwag/Pathan/Karthik, Sachin, Yuvraj, Dravid, Dhoni, Agarkar, Zaheer, Harbhajan, Munaf.

As you can see, most of the team selects itself. The only thing up for conjecture is who among Sehwag/Pathan/Karthik will be played on a more regular basis. But I guess this might change with opposition/pitch/form etc. With West Indian pitches expected to be a bit slow and sluggish, one specialist spinner is usually required. But it would be interesting if Sehwag and Pathan are both picked at the expense of Harbhajan and Karthik.

Bottomline: We have a good team. Not a team exploding with brilliance, but a team that has finally taken shape, has come together and is quietly confident of success. Though New Zeland and England are on a high with recent successes against the Aussies, I don't think they have the ability to really challenge the big players in the sort of slow pitches we're likely to encounter in WI. We have the ammunition to counter them. The Aussies are perennial favorites, even more so now that their pride is hurt and people have started writing them off. The Lankans and the Windies promise to be the dark horses of the tournament. And I'm still waiting to see of the Pakistanis can actually send 11 fit players who are also not potheads. The South Africans seem to be the favorites at the moment what with their new #1 ranking, a 'back from the dead' Pollock and a seemingly endless supply of allrounders. My predictions for a semifinal spot would be SA, Australia, India and SL/WI. Ofcourse, I could be way off base. This promises to be the most competitive world cup in years with a lot of solid teams and contenders. Its gonna be one helluva ride! So let the games begin...

The Wedding - Cocktail Party

2007-02-22T13:45:00.000-06:00

Any Indian worth his/her salt should know that traditional North Indian weddings are not complete without singing, dancing and some good old-fashioned drinking. South Indians, usually alienated from the rest of the country, have become increasingly aware of this through movies like 'Hum Apke Hai Kaun' (We, you and who else?), 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge' (The heart makes stupid decisions) and a plethora of song-athons from the Chopra and Johar schools of film-making (forgive my translations). So from the moment my parents announced my wedding to a Northie girl, my relatives started planning their visit around the hypothetical big 'dance' party.

We did not have a 'Sangeet' in the traditional sense. As I later came to know from W, there did occur a brainstorming session, within her group, for songs and skits to do if a Sangeet happened. And predictably, there were a lot of suggestions revolving around bald, dhoti-clad, thick accented South Indian men in Hindi movies a la that song in the movie 'Padosan'. And then they finally came to the conclusion that the jokes might be lost in the great South-North divide and lead to embarrassment. Personally, I would've loved to have the chance to make some good-natured fun at each others' cultures. I would've got the guys on my side to wax their body hair, wear tight-fitting pants and flowery shirts and play chikna Shah rukh or one of the roadside romeos abundant in Delhi. Oh well, no use worrying about opportunities lost.

And yes, there was a cocktail party in the agenda, complete with a DJ, dance floor and strobe lights in one of the best hotels in town. Anyone familiar with my father-in-law would've guessed that it would be accompanied by an awesome open bar. The man knows how to throw a party! There were also kabobs, paneer, vadas and a few other things I forget for appetizers. The food was kept simple with some chinese/Thai along with a spicy chaat stall.

As the evening began, it was clear that everyone had dressed to impress. The South Indian aunties were glittering in their brilliantly-colored silk saris while the North Indian aunties wore designer saris and salwars. These were occampanied by lots of gold, diamonds and pearls. Despite my dad's protests, I had forced him to wear a suit and even black socks. The young guys were all dressed smartly in suits. While W looked gorgeous in a Ritu Kumar-designed Salwar, I was aware that this was probably the only occasion in the wedding when my outfit would be more expensive than hers (I take this opportunity to repeat that I was wearing a CK suit). On the jewellery front, I would say she pretty much shut me out.

When the father-in-law looked to us young guns to inaugurate the open bar, my brother, ET, Goks and SP selflessly came to the rescue. They helped themselves to some beer, beer and rum and whiskey in that order while setting an example to the rest of the shy junta. I opened my account with some Royal Challenge, and very soon 2 big mugs were thrusted into the unsuspecting hands of my mom and dad by the Big W (father-in-law is a bit long to type). Check out the adjoining priceless photo where my family is going to the dogs! As the alcohol started flowing and the DJ started spinning his stuff, people slowly started trickling onto the dance floor. As you would've guessed, it was W's younger friends and relatives who started the proceedings while my relatives took some time to warm up. By the time I finished my round of socializing and introductions and got near the dance floor, I was shocked to see my mom holding a mug of beer and shaking it on the floor. She brought out some original moves which got high praise from all quarters. My dad was a bit shy, but once we dragged him in, he was a different man.

Standing there looking at them enjoying themselves and hobnobbing with my in-laws, I told myself once again how long my parents and I have come. From being the orthodox, ultra-conservative and tight-knit group we were known to be, my parents had opened their minds and their hearts to a completely new culture and people. I was to hear a lot of praise from them later on about my choice of bride, her family and the wedding arrangements. My mom said I had made the perfect choice. And it felt good.

Back on the floor, things were really heating up. ET, the eternal loverboy (or the boy who loves to be in love), had started flirting with my little (cousin) sister (Okay, she's not so little and definitely not innocent, but that's besides the point). I made a mental note to kill him once the party was over. The couple set the floor on fire and ET henceforth came to be known as the 'rubber man' by W's family. Goks was drinking by himself in a corner enjoying the music and getting amused at this interesting mix on the dance floor. My bro surprised me with his dance moves and he was unstoppable through the night. For someone who was perceived as shy and a goody boy, he was gyrating like nobody's business. SP was drunk very fast and refused to eat despite all our urging. My mom somehow felt this incredible bonding to him in their drunken states and made sure he was taken back to his room and tucked into his bed early. W and I were forced into the center from time to time. We would entertain such requests for a song or two and then make our way out to continue our socializing spree.

There was this funny incident involving W's elder sis (let's call her P), my chithi (aunt) and me. I should probably mention at this juncture that for unprepared observers, P appears to be a replica of W. Or should it be the other way around for the sake of chronological precision? So there were numerous occasions when people would mix them up and make fools of themselves. My chithi selected the most inopportune of moments to do exactly that. She dragged me to the dance floor and asked me to dance with P and I did so for a few minutes. When she continued to push me closer towards P, it slowly dawned on me that this was another case of mistaken identity and that she had mistook P for W. I tried pointing this out to her, but I was drowned out by the music. And then chithi went one step further and pushed me with all her might, making sure I banged into P at a speed of 30 kmph or so. And then I had to finally shout "this is my sister-in-law". Chithi had a sheeping grin while P and I laughed our asses off. Though I appreciated chithi's intentions, hitting upon my sis-in-law even before the wedding might have been looked down upon :-) Very soon, my 2.5 yr-old niece Rhea (P's daughter) joined the fray with people forming a circle around her clapping and goading her on.

It felt wonderful to party with our family and friends, especially with ET and Goks who'd planned their India trips around the wedding. Another friend from Chicago, Ram, was supposed to join us for the party but he paid the price for living in a village. His flight from Madurai got delayed (due to a 15-min shower!) and he ended up missing his Mumbai-Baroda connection. He got into town the next day after spending the night at the Mumbai Jet Air lounge, while we were all making merry. W and I were were very disappointed when he couldn't make it. Funkaboy was, being Iranian-born, was sitting tight in Chicago rather than taking the chance and getting his visa stamped. When he called us in the middle of the party, W and I were unsuccessfully trying to find a quiet place to talk to him. Onlookers might have thought we had other intentions, but I swear we did not!

Towards the end, there was a call for bride and groom to take centerstage to some mushy love song. Very soon, all the couples piled on and did their own versions of a ballroom dance. The DJ took some audience requests, and eventually and very reluctantly, closed down the music for the night. After the party wound down and most people left, a few of us were chatting into the night while helping ourselves to the last of the stock in the open bar. And then my friends and I decided to walk back to our hotels (which was just down the street) instead of being driven back.

Once in the hotel room, we piled into the 'party' room. While Goks and I were reminiscing my last day as a bachelor, chandru, SP and ET were playing a childish game of cards called 'mangaatha'. A bit more OH might have been consumed in the process. When I finally called it a night and went back and plonked on my bed, I felt the evening couldn't have gone any better. The Tamil-Sindhi divide was slowly disappearing as the families were getting comfortable with each other. I had been checked out by all of W's relatives and friends and seem to have passed the litmus test - can he dance? - reserved for south Indian dulhas. My folks had fallen in love with W and her family. There were a lot of good moments and wonderful memories.

And I was ready for the Big Day tomorrow... (to be continued)

When I used Newton's law

2007-02-19T16:07:00.000-06:00

Physics can be an exhilarating subject, or an excruciating subject, depending on what side of the 'nerd line' you are in. The problem comes with the ample formulaes and cause-effect relationships that this subject has come up with even to explain the simplest of concepts. I know that if I threw a ball, it is going to move for a while and eventually come to a stop. But leave it to physics to go in and put a complicated spin on what is essentially a really uncomplicated concept. So now we find ourselves
1. multiplying force and displacement to calculate work
2. raising it to the power of some random number like 6.023 x 10^26 to calculate the average gravitational pull of the ball with some distant planet and then
3. dividing it by the number of hours an electron stays as a wave as opposed to a particle, to get the energy of the process etc.

You know what I mean. I could do all this with a simple measuring tape for God's sake. So it was with a touch of pessimism and back-bench revolting that I was introduced to various Newtonian concepts, including his apple falling thingie. I knew at an instant that there was no good to be had from all these so-called 'laws of nature'. I knew enough to let a good thing be and not to mess with nature. So imagine my utter shock when I actually used one of Newton's precious laws in a very practical everyday application.

I can see most of you already shaking your head and kicking yourselves for ever bothering to visit this blog, but please stick with me for a minute. Growing up in the middlest of middle classes in Mylapore, I did not have access to geysers for those frighteningly cold Madras winters. It could possibly - yes, hold your breath - touch 22C in the December-January timeframe. And you'll see all the Chennai 'perusus' (oldies) walking around with obscurely colored 'mundas' (pink, purple turbans) and half-sleeve sweaters, complaining about the 'pani' (cold, mist, fog) in Chennai and how you need to be very careful. Personally, I loved winters because this was the only chance for me to request, nay demand, hot water baths and have my wish granted without complaints by my mom. As I mentioned a few lines ago, I did not have a geyser at home. So my mom would pour water in a stainless steel vessel and heat it to near boiling point. Then she would use a towel to carefully carry it and place it in the bathroom.

Now, the trick was to spread this vessel of really hot water into 2-3 pleasantly warm buckets of water. So obviously, I would pour 1/3rd of this hot water (let's call it the source) into another empty bucket and start tempering the second bucketful with cold water till it came to an optimal temperature. Then I would finish the first part of my shower, and then repeat the process with the rest of the hot water. However, this process had an inherent problem associated with it. By the time I finished my first bucket, the source bucket with the really hot water lost a lot of heat and was able to yield only one more bucket, rather than the generally preferable number of 2.0. This was extremely irritating. And I could not very well ask my mother for another round of heating since she would have a pot of sambar, a few veggies and a rice cooker occupying her stove by then.

However, a few days after I got introduced to Newton, I was standing next to my hot water bucket deeply pondering this issue while opening a new bar of lifeboy soap, when, out of the blue, one of his laws came to mind. The law, in its most basic form, goes like this:

Newton's law of cooling, states that the rate of heat loss of a body is proportional to the difference in temperatures between the body and its surroundings.

In layman's terms, what this means is that 'the hotter the water is, the faster it is going to lose that heat in your Madras middle-class bathroom'. So what I did was instead of letting the hot water source stay as it was, I would temper it a bit with cold water as soon as I got it from my mom. Say for example, the source was 80C, I would bring it down to around 60C, then transfer some of it to another bucket and mix this portion with more cold water to bring it to an optimal range of around 40C. And I found that I was back to a total yield of 3 comfortable warm buckets.

As you can imagine, I was dumb-founded. Not by the incredible simplicity of Newton's law, but by the ingeniousness with which I had applied it to a day-to-day problem. That's when it hit me. Physics was not all useless. There were some useful things in there too. All you need to do is look for it and apply it appropriately. So the next time, someone is going on about string theory, quarks or the essential unpredictability of nature, don't sit there shaking your head wishing that an elephant would bury the speaker in its poop. Just know that Physics is essentially a practical subject. You just need to look through all the jargon and useless terminology. Ofcourse, the scientists, physicists and physics teachers of the world do not want you to realize that. Else, they would have to look for new jobs and careers.

The Wedding - Decisions Decisions

2007-02-11T18:06:00.000-06:00

It was a warm summer evening, and W and I were taking a walk in the park across from my house. And we revisited THE question once again. The question in question being "do we tie the knot or not?". After 7 years of a beautiful friendship, and being there for each other through thick and thin, it was time for us to decide if we wanted to walk our separate ways or take the big step together. We were quickly running out of time. The last few months had been spent on a bit of soul-searching and our minds were finally made up. We wanted to get married and all that was left to do was say it aloud to each other. On that day, we did (I know I'm not making this sound very romantic without all the details. However, there are some things that are too personal even for a blogger, don't you think?). Having made this decision, you would think everything else would just fall in place. What we were about to learn is that this was just the first in a series of decisions we would have to make over the next few months.

The first thing to do, ofcourse, was to inform our families. This went quite smoothly. As it turned out, both sides were expecting this for a while. However, a wedding between a Sindhi family settled in Gujarat and a pakka Tamil Brahmin from the heart of Chennai was always going to be interesting to say the least. So the biggest wedding decision to be made (ofcourse after deciding on who to marry!) was 'what style do we want the wedding in?'. The choices were

1. A Tamil Iyer style wedding where I sit almost naked - well topless - while my chest hair is getting all burnt and frizzy by the proximity of a fire that deserves a fire engine to be waiting on call. You and your girl are made to sit on a swing while aunties of different ages throw colorful balls in different directions. You have a day full of somber ceremonies, where the bride is gently nudged if she smiles too much and is reminded that she's supposed to look coy and demure. Okay, okay, I know I'm being too harsh on our wedding style. There are a lot of symbolic and even hilarious occasions in our weddings. The groom walking off in a huff and puff, and the father of the bride running after him to convince him to come back and accept his girl, comes to mind. Such a wedding had to be organized in Chennai, and W's parents and relatives would be completely lost. It will inevitably lead to a lot of misses, finger-pointing, and unavoidable gossipping as is the wont in my extended family circle.

2. Then there is the Sindhi wedding, where a few people go to the Gurudwara, say a few words in front of the Guru Grant and are declared man and wife. Needless to say, my relatives would still be wondering when the wedding was going to happen even while everyone else was on their way to the wedding lunch. And there would be a few questions on why a book needs to be fanned constantly.

What we decided to do was to take a middle path here. We decided to have a plain Hindu wedding which would incorporate most customs that are common to both these communities. And ofcourse, the wedding has to happen in the girls' town. I have to give my kudos here to W's parents for throwing a great wedding preceded by a lot of fun events and accomodating all of my side's requests. And I have to thank my parents for being so sporting and open to other cultures, customs and people.

Once the wedding was decided, and the date was fixed, we had to get on with other decisions. Who're all going to be attending the wedding form my side? how are we getting there? where are we staying? Then followed a series of e-mail exchanges between W's dad, my dad, W and me followed by frantic conversations over the phones and various lists with check marks etc. I had also to make all my travel plans within India, and as regular readers know, this was quite a task. We also had to make our honeymoon plans in Kerala, and decided to place it in between the Baroda and Chennai legs of the wedding. This let us squeeze in a few days while the familes left Baroda and regrouped in Chennai for the reception.

As the days went by, I got my fair share of abuse from 'W' for sitting on my ass and not caring about the wedding etc. Ofcourse, these were completely unfounded. I was at the moment caught between the devil and the deep sea - what with my MBA apping, marathon preparation and wedding plans. W left for India 3 weeks before me to complete her wedding shopping, get her clothes designed, hunt for her solitaire (I just had to write the check!) and in general take a big role in organizing the wedding. Her best friend was with her all the way, taking care of the nitty gritty details that even her parents would have missed.

Things somehow eventually seemed to fall into place. All the flight and train reservations were made. I knew my exact travel plans. W was on top of things in Baroda. I even pampered myself with a CK suit and a couple of expensive dress shoes here before leaving. The hotel accomodations had been finalized both in Baroda and Chennai. The invitations had been printed and distributed. And once again, peace and serenity prevailed in c2cLand.

What was even more surprising was that the whole thing went without hitch. The travel Gods were kind to us and trains and planes started and reached on time (although Ram would have a few things to say about this I'm sure). The weather was perfect. People were in a festive mood. Infact, my parents and I enjoyed a few rounds of Glenfiddich the last 2 nights before the Baroda trip. And there were talks of who's going to bring out the best dance moves. Ofcourse, there was some miscommunication/confusion during the actual wedding ceremony which led to a few funny moments. But I guess those are topics for another day.

The Wedding - Schedule, itinerary and logistics

2007-02-07T13:22:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the first of what would hopefully be a series of articles on my wedding, the various events and parties in the run up to the main event, as well as the aftermath. I cannot proceed without actually spending some time talking about the logistical difficulties that we were faced with even before the events began. Here's a quick recap of my 3-week stay, or rather travel, in India. And then you tell me if this schedule is for the fickle-minded and the weak-constitutioned...

Jan 15th - Land in Chennai. Ah! home sweet home. Unfortunately, can't meet my brother for another week while he's busy at IIIT Bangalore twisting his ankle, hurting his finger and in general being very injury-prone.

Jan 20th - Flight from Chennai to Mumbai, Mumbai to Baroda. Am welcomed by the fiancee, her mom and sis who's trying her best to embarrass me by video-recording my arrival. I'm whisked away to select my wedding ring. We come back for lunch and then head out again to select my Sherwani for the wedding. A relaxed evening at home with the family and some Black Label, followed by dinner at the Taj.

Jan 21st - Drive to Nadiad (between Baroda and Ahmedabad) for a pooja with the family Shastriji. This was the primary reason for my lightening fast visit to Baroda. After the 3-hr pooja and a sumptuous home-cooked Gujju meal (by the Shastri's wife and bahus), we drive to Ahmedabad where I catch a flight to Mumbai, then fly Mumbai to Chennai. I had earlier in the afternoon received news that my Go Air flight from Mumbai to Chennai had been cancelled. The reason they give out - flight is down - is inexcusable to say the least. The resourceful father-in-law calls up his travel agent while the pooja is in progress and books me on Jet Air.

Jan 25th morning to Jan 26th evening - Navjeevan Express from Chennai to Baroda with my family and relatives (don't underestimate a travel that lasts for the better part of 2 days). The initial enthu leads to lots of photos, Antaksharis and card games. When we've explored all entertainment options and look at the time, we realize we've only managed to while away 3 hours. Another 29 hours to go. Brutal!

Jan 26th evening to 28th evening - Various wedding festivities. Will be the subject of a few other posts.

Jan 29th morning - Still hungover from the wedding festivities, the Missus and I catch a Jet Air flight to Mumbai, then Mumbai to Cochin. We are picked up by a pre-assigned driver and are taken for almost 3 hours through circuitous roads to Kumarakom, around 80 kms away.

Jan 29th afternoon - We both get on the houseboat we had booked at Kumarakom Lake Resort by around 4PM. With a personal chef and 2 boatmen at our disposal and a liberal dose of kingfisher, I would say we were well on our way. Sail ahoy!

Jan 30th afternoon - We get off the boat and check into the actual Resort.

Jan 31st morning - The driver shows up again, this time to take us on the arduous 170 km trip to Kovalam. the missus hits upon a brilliant idea. We send the driver with our luggage and get a complimentary speed boat ride to Aleppey which cuts down around 45 mins on the road for us. Sheer genius!

Jan 31st afternoon - Reach the Leela Kempinski resort at Kovalam after a long tiring car ride. We're both ready to hit the beach.

Feb 2nd morning - A complimentary car picks us up from Leela and drops us off at the Trivandrum airport. We catch a frighteningly small Jet Air flight to Chennai.

Feb 2nd afternoon - Picked up at Chennai by my brother. I show the wife various historic spots in Chennai like Santhome Church, Anna University, Raj Bhavan, IIT, my school and my home. The wife's family lands in Chennai a few hours later. The flight delay has caused a bit of confusion and they are finally picked up by my dad and uncle. In the meantime, we're both fulfilling our obligations to our elders by visiting my paternal and maternal grandparents.

Feb 2nd night - We meet wife's family for a nice cosy dinner at the Boat Club, Adyar.

Feb 3rd evening - It is the reception thrown by my parents at the Tag Center, Alwarpet. We're both sitting ducks to flashing lights and cameras while people go about their business, hob nob and have fun in general without caring 2 hoots about the victims on stage.

Feb 3rd night - Yes, its time to pack up. Have an Air India Flight at 4AM the next day. That leaves me 2 hours to come home, gather my stuff, pick up the wife from Boat Club and reach Chennai airport.

Feb 4th morning - Stop over at Mumbai to transfer to the Chicago flight. We're both walking zombies. Don't know what hit us!

Feb 4th 6:30PM CST in Chicago - Its friggin' cold, a temperature drop of almost 50C or 95F whichever turns you on. We are left to fend for ourselves as our normally loyal friends ditch us to watch the Superbowl. Catch a cab and reach home on our own. Funkaboy is at home to welcome us. He makes the wife kick a glass of rice as is customary and I lift her an inch over the threshold. Wife is thrilled when the Chicago Bears finally lose. I would've been shocked if the result had been anything else after the varied curses she unloads on them.

Feb 5th morning - Can you believe it? We both have got to go to work. The last 3 weeks feel like a dream. Normality resumes. This sucks!

I'm back. And I'm married!

2007-02-05T16:45:00.000-06:00

Yes, I've finally moved on to the darker side. I've lost the premier bachelor status, not that I've ever been a Casanova! The Tamil Brahmin - Sindhi from Gujjuland wedding went without a hitch. Some would even say it was a blast. And despite the language and cultural differences, both sides got along famously. There's a lot to report and too much jetlag right now to do justice to this experience of a lifetime. So over the next few days, I'll try to cover as much of the last 3 weeks as possible. Let me see if I can pull in some guest columns as well from a few Chicago friends who actually came all the way to attend our wedding. Would be nice to get a few different points of view, don't you think? And ofcourse, the good ol' wife has been keeping a diary of various events, so let's see if we can get her to talk about her ordeal and how she's going to deal with the fact that she's stuck to me for the rest of her life.

Let the good times roll... zzzzzz!!!

Yes, the iPhone... What else did you expect?

2007-01-12T14:17:00.000-06:00

Apple's new iPhone was unveiled recently at the Macworld conference by Steve Jobs, accompanied by such frenzied hooting and cheers by the crowd you would have been forgiven to think that you were in a strip club in the middle of a bachelor's party. Much has been said and reported on the topic by various experts and users in the last couple of days. Unless you were a monk or Sidhu, you would probably have heard most of it by now. I decided I'll add my $0.02 to this nevertheless.

Yes, its from Apple. And the user interface seems to really be next generation. It was a bold move to completely leave out the keyboard, and it will be interesting to see how the blackberry generation businessmen react to this. The rest of the UI like the touch scroll, manipulating images and web pages with your fingers on the screen, proximity sensor etc. sound very intuitive and should be a pleasure once you get used to it. What's more, you also get free yahoo mail pushed to your phone, google maps, a windows-free OS, a 2 mpx camera, cool voicemail interface etc.

All said and done, its just another PDA/phone. However, what differentiates this is the built-in iPod. If iPods weren't such a big success or if some other company had introduced this phone with a different MP3 player keeping everything else the same, I'm quite sure there would not be this much hype. Most people, including moi, these days carry the cell phone and an iPod. So any device that would reduce this to just one instrument is definitely welcome. And Apple, market savvy as ever, has capitalized on this iPod frenzy and monopoly by trying to leverage this into the competitive PDA/phone sector. And they have done this as stylishly as they always do.

But please don't insult my intelligence by calling the iPhone the phone of the future, smart phone, light years ahead or any of the hundreds of epithets being heaped upon it. For example, compare it to my dearest Alamelu and tell me if the iPhone can do even a tenth of this! The phone of the future needs to be able to do more, way more, than what these devices aspire to. And ofcourse they need to keep the user interface and experience as simple, uncomplicated, sleek and desirable as the apple machines. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I need my instrument to act as my wallet, my keychain, a dictaphone with voice recognition and much more. Imagine how cool it would be if you can click a button and mention the name of the album or atleast the starting alphabet so that the iPod can take you to the proximity of the album you wanted to listen to. Compare this with how much scrolling you typically have to do to find an album in the 30GB iPod Video.

The baseline is Apple has me hooked. You might be shocked at this statement after my rants and raves, but hey, I don't have anything against the iPhone. Infact, I love the look and feel and appreciate the fact that I would not have to carry my iPod all the time. My only complaint is when people call this the phone of the future. It might be, but only till the next one comes along.

All the King's men

2006-12-25T19:07:00.000-06:00

Sean Penn has been one of my most favorite actors for a long time now. Late one night a few years ago, I saw a little known movie called She's so Lovely, where Sean Penn plays the role of a guy who has an extremely violent and emotional relationship with his girl friend. Eventually, he becomes deranged, gets cured and comes back to get his girl who's now happily married with a kid to John Travolta. And just when you're expecing him to fade in the dark, you're shaken out of your senses when you find out that the woman loved Penn so passionately that she's ready to give up her husband, kid and comfortable existence to go back to him. The intensity that Penn brought to this character was unbelievable. Ofcourse, there have been many other memorable movies since then like I am Sam (for which he should have easily won the Oscar instead of the Mystic River eyewash) or the more recent 21 Grams.

So ofcourse, I was looking forward to watching All the King's Men despite the negative reviews and critics panning Penn's performance as the hand-waving anti-establishment Governer of Louisiana, Willie Stark. And needless to say, the movie and Penn did not let me down. Yes, Penn was a little over the top. But that was in keeping with his character Willie who rises from a hick town in Louisiana to become its controversial Governer. He wants to help the people and fight the rich oil and gas companies. He wants to take the money from the hands of the rich to build roads, highways, schools, universities and free hospitals for those who can't afford it. He's passionate about the cause and will do anything to get there. In his own words, he will cut down anyone that comes in the way of him and his people's rights. His speeches are fiery, venomous and hair-raising. In private, he's a man who's slowly losing his values - he takes up drinking, womanizing and double-dealing to get what he wants. In the process, he pushes too many wrong buttons that finally leads to his demise. Sean Penn has done an amazing job in bringing this intriguing personality to the screen. Rather than being distracting, his hand waving in fact shows his character as passionate and full of zest. His southern accent is so natural that you forget he was actually born in California. He delivers a powerful performance that will leave you applauding.

The most surprising part of this movie, for me, was Jude Law's portrayal as Jack Burden, who narrates the story in his own words. Here's a guy who comes from the old rich, he's a celebrated journalist and someone who does not really believe in anything except himself. And somehow, he finds himself getting fascinated with Willy, starts believing in him and shares his vision. When he tells Willie "I don't work for you for love or for the money", Willie simply replies with a smile "I know why you work for me Jack. You work for me because I am the way I am and you are the way you are". Its a pretty loaded statement if you consider the context. Not always a big fan of Jude Law, I will probably have to start respecting him more after this role. He downplays it so well, but is always there reflecting your own opinion. Anytime something dramatic happens in the movie, you want the camera turn to Law so you can see how he reacts - with a simple nod or a faintly recognizable smile or sometimes shock.

The rest of the characters simply do not have enough screen time to develop well. Anthony Hopkins, Kate Winslet and Mark Ruffalo have all been wasted. Hopkins need to stop talking in a British accent regardless of the role he plays, which in this case happens to be an influential judge and a rich Southerner.

The movie is technically well-made. Every shot is taut with tension and drama, the lighting is just so, the music dramatic when it needs to be, the editing precise and the mid-century Louisiana colors captures the era beautifully.

In the end, you empathize with Willie. You know despite his short comings, wheeling dealings and using the people around him (especially Jack), he has the peoples' good at heart. The movie also comes close to representing the current political scenario with the oil, gas and arms companies still holding sway and playing a big part in American politics. You wonder what will happen if such a charismatic, even eccentric, anti-establishment guy really makes it through our political process and represents the people while standing up to those with money and influence. Ofcourse if he keeps repeating "By God's will" or the "wrath of God" like Willie does in the movie, he stands the risk of getting branded as a religious zealot and laughed out before the primaries.

All in all, a wonderfully made movie, enriched by the performances of Sean Penn and Jude Law. If you have time on your hands, and noone to disturb you at home or keep complaining about the pace of the movie, this is definitely worth a watch.

10 Greatest moments of my life

2006-12-22T01:01:00.000-06:00

In everyone's life, there are defining moments that change the course of his/her future. It just sneeks up on you and takes your breath away. You've dared to dream about it but never thought this could happen to you. And when it does, you know your life is never going to be the same again. Getting my Kellogg admit has to be one such occasion. This got me thinking about all the other special moments that I have taken for granted. So, after much soul-searching, here are the top ten greatest moments of my life. So far...

10. Sending a check back home from my sign on bonus at Motorola to pay off my loans I took to come to US.

9. Receving an admit with Teaching Assistantship and full tuition waiver/stipend to UIC.

8. Getting a FedEx package with an offer from Motorola for my first job. I had all my friends around me and we partied hard that night.

7. Receiving the letter of admit to the EEE program at BITS Pilani.

6. Completing my Chicago marathon with my knees threatening to tear away from their sockets while my friends cheered me on at the finish line.

5. Meeting W the 2nd day in the US and getting introduced to each other with a simple handshake. Barely did I know this was going to change my life in ways unimaginable.

4. Receiving my 12th std public exam marksheets and realizing, against all reason and logic, I came first in the entire school.

3. Getting a call from Kellogg informing me I've been admitted to the full-time MBA program.

2. W and I were on a walk in the park across the road and we finally decided that we want to be together for the rest of our lives.

1. And the numero uno? I'm reserving this for the moment when I tie the knot with W on Jan 28th 2007.

Ofcourse, there are tons of special moments that did not involve me but still brought tremendous joy and satisfaction. For example, my brother getting into the IIIT program in Bangalore, my cousin - who's like my sister - giving birth to a baby boy, my grand father recovering from a heart surgery, W coming back to Chicagoland and getting her first job offer (she had moved to NJ briefly), parupps finding his first job after a long and frustrating search, dad starting his own business etc etc.

There are also some events that do involve me and deserve special mention here (and obviously involve a lot of firsts) - getting my first car, closing on my first home, my first (and last) bike in the US, my first trip back to India from the US, my first job offer at BITS (IBM - I never joined), the talk about W, marriage and cultural differences I had with my dad on the Deccan Air flight from Tirunelveli to Chennai, Sugan-Srikanth's wedding, Arun-Cindy's wedding, the inter-class cricket tournament at Santhome High school when I went in as opener and took every attack apart and got invited to a coaching session, meeting my 2 best friends-to-be at the same school, my first bicycle, performing on stage at the inaugural ceremonies of OASIS in front of a huge audience and the after-parties that followed, those lazy summer evenings playing volleyball and later chilling with good beer and great friends, the list goes on and on...

Looking back, I realized that its been an interesting ride so far. Though I know there's plenty more to come, nothing can match the abosolute thrill of something huge happening for the first time to you. My next job offer is not going to be as exciting as the first, I'm never going to meet a girl like W (not that I can do anything about it even if I do!), or I could possibly not make better friends than those that I already have. Still, I can't feel but excited about the next turn in my life and where its going to lead me. Watch this space!

Yipppeeeeee!!!!!!!!

2006-12-21T00:08:00.000-06:00

Well, that was my reaction when the Kellogg adcom called me yesterday evening on my way back from work to inform me that I'd been admitted to the MMM program at Kellogg. She laughed.

MMM is a dual degree. A Masters in Engineering Management on top of an MBA degree. So I get 2 degrees for the price of one. This is a dream come true and hopefully will mark the start of a new stint in my life and career. Anything is possible from here on.

The apping and the waiting have been horrible. But now its all worth it. I'm savoring this right now with my fiancee W and some wine.

Dhoom 2 and a kissing controversy

2006-12-12T15:24:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I was dragged begging and screaming to watch Dhoom 2. This weekend, I went to a get-together for ASHA marathoners and happened to take W along. And when I introduced Amit and his wife, they all seemed to hit it off. I knew it was a mistake right away. Why? You'll see soon. After a few drinks and dinner, Amit and wife mentioned to W that they were going to a 11:10PM show of Dhoom 2 in a theater. Till then, I had somehow managed to keep W subdued about this movie citing bad reviews and basically waiting for it to go away from the silver screen. My world came shattering down when W turned around and asked me with those big excited eyes "Can we go?". Ofcourse, I didn't have the heart to say no. Traitor SpiceTooth quietly dropped us off at the theater, and before we could say "machan", he was gone like the wind. Bastard!

Anyways, this blog is not meant to be a review of this movie. However, there was one scene in the movie were Hrithik and Aishwarya profess their love for each other. They're both near tears as they lovingly kiss each other, on the lips as it so happens. This is probably the only scene in the movie that I thought was well-made. And lo behold, what happens in India? A lawyer files a case against the actors, citing the kissing season as an indecent act.

So that got me thinking on what could have been the motivations behind such a blatantly hypocritical lawsuit?

1. Maybe he's a bit shocked and thinks that these kind of things have no place in sacred India. Then it goes without saying that he has never seen other Hindi movies where there's a whole lot going on other than kissing. In a country threatening to be the leader in HIV and AIDs cases, kissing is probably the last thing we need to worry about.

2. Maybe he's okay with the kissing as long as it does not involve Indian actors. He'll watch Hollywood movies in Indian theatres, and obviously will not file lawsuits against any kissing scenes there. However, the bollywood fantasy world is no place for such indecent activities.

3. Maybe he's pissed off that Aishwarya Rai, who's seen as one of India's biggest names abroad, is sullying Mother India's reputation?

Whatever be the reason, shouldn't he be filing petitions or lawsuits against the Indian Censoar board for giving this movie a universal rating? Why would he try to blame the actors for doing what they are told to do and get paid good money for? The only possible explanation is that he's trying to inconvenience and embarrass such actors so others are wary of repeating this in the future.

At first, my thought was that this guy just needs attention. But apparently, that is not the case. He actually avoids the media, but is genuinely concerned about such onscreen incidents. Here are a few excerpts from his interview:

Dhoom 2, he says in his petition, lowered the dignity of Indian women and gave an obscene message to India's youth.

"They are portraying vulgarity in our Indian culture," says Dwivedi. "Dhoom 2 cannot be watched by Indian families because it is a vulgar film."

What precisely is objectionable, I ask. Pressed on the point, the advocate says "I felt the kissing scene was objectionable. I went to see the film with my child and it was quite embarrassing. The least they could have done was certify this as an adult film. No one is bothered about this, not even the censors. This is not right according to our Indian culture."

So how does he define Indian culture, where and how does he draw the line? "I don't want to get into that controversy," he says, side-stepping the question.

---

"My conscience made me file this case," says Dwivedi, a tall man with a receding hairline.

He is clear in his mind, though, that the Aishwarya-Hrithik lip-lock in the film is a clear case of obscenity.

Dhoom 2, he says in his petition, lowered the dignity of Indian women and gave an obscene message to India's youth.

---

This incidentally is not his first tilt at tinseltown. He had earlier filed a case against Dharmendra and Hema Malini, when Dharmendra said he had not converted to Islam and married Hema Malini as his second wife.

He also filed a case against director J P Dutta's LoC Kargil after the Indian flag was shown wrongly draped and placed on the coffins of Indian martyred soldiers.

The most high profile of his cases was the one he filed against painter M F Husain, when he drew Hindu goddesses in the nude.

"Husain had no business to paint Mother India and other goddesses naked. It was very insulting for every Indian," Dwivedi says, his anger evident in his tone.

But what, then, of artistic license, of the freedom of expression that is the bedrock of a democracy?

"Why don't you paint your own mother nude?" Dwivedi demands. "When you can show Durga and other goddess naked, then why not Husain's mother's naked portrait too? Let him do that first. I think it is an insult to our nation to do such acts."

---

But why Aishwarya? After all, Mallika Sherawat became famous for 17 kissing scenes in a single film? "I never see Hindi films," Dwivedi says. "I didn't see any of Mallika Sherawat's films, therefore I am not aware of these things. I happened to see Dhoom 2 and I found the scene objectionable. It is a film that one cannot see with one's family, and therefore I filed a case. Whenever I feel something is wrong, then I do these things on an individual basis."

Then again, not a single case he has filed thus far on such issues has met with success -- so what then is the point? "I hope to get justice one day," he says, simply.

"I am not disappointed; I only want that such acts should not be repeated. other filmmakers must learn from past experiences, by not including such obscene scenes in the future. If that happens, then that is my victory."

Tamil rap

2006-12-04T10:21:00.000-06:00

I saw this video by a tamil rap band on youtube at a friend's place a few weeks ago and totally enjoyed it. Since then, this link has been forwarded to me almost as many times as it has been viewed on youtube (120,152 by the latest count). So I decided this was something that I had to blog about. The album is called Vallavan, and it is created by Yogi B and Natchatra. I have to say these are really cool sounding names in the mould of hip hop legends like the the Notorious Mr. BIG or Tupak Shakur! They even have a web-site for their album. Someone mentioned these guys are Malaysian Tamils, I'm not sure about that.

Coming to the song in question, its a remake of the 'madai thirandhu' by Ilayaraja in the movie 'Nizhalgal'. Its an amazing song where Chandrasekar (yeah, the guy who always loses one arm or gets screwed over by someone or the other in every movie!) with aspirations to become a music director just lets go and dreams about a life of fame, fortune and babes chasing him on the beach. The song was just another example of how 'mottai' was way ahead of his times. These guys have taken this framework and have added some amazing rap lyrics to the mix. This could've been funny if it hadn't turned out right. But it is clear a lot of hardwork and commitment have gone into making this song and video. And its all worth it!

I loved the 'petta rap' song in 'Kadhalan'. The rap was very hummable and merged perfectly with the song. Though the song was a big hit, it was not followed by similar efforts from directors who seemed to be focussing more on our own ethnic 'ghana' culture. So will the concept of rap in Tamil catch on agin after this album? Its difficult to say. I heard A.R.Rahman is working with a rapper on an album in London. Apparently, this is the guy who has rap bits in recent songs from 'Vettayadu Vilayadu' etc. Would be interesting to see how that turns out. But I feel that Tamil as a language poses quite a few problems in writing rap songs. Do you rap in pure Tamil (like Yogi B and co) or in colloquial Tamil (like petta rap)? Can you use swear words (what's rap without them!)? Well, you know you can't rap about friday night parties, booze, women, different types of asses or any of the other gangsta' shit in Madras. So what do you rap about? Water problem, politics, theppa kulam festival, ration queues etc I presume.

The song closes with a one-liner by Kalignar Karunanidhi in his coarse voice. I'm not sure if this was intended to be serious or funny, but I found it extremely hilarious. Definitely worth a lookesy you guys -> Yogi B n Nachathira Feat Lock Up - Madai Thiranthu.

Its back to square one

2006-11-30T15:43:00.000-06:00

These are interesting times for Indian cricket now, if you're not a die-hard fanatic. If you are, then you have no business reading this post. You should have hung yourself in the bathroom after the 4th ODI against SA. So 'dada' Ganguly is back. This was almost expected what with all the so-called 'hopes for the future' (read Kaif, Raina etc) have failed miserably to grab the opportunities that came their way and the more promising ones were suffering from injury (read Yuvraj). So the selectors have no option but to take a step back. They have realized that India has absolutely no bench strength, so the wise men are betting on the same famed Indian middle order we had a few years ago.

First, I have a serious grouse on the following idiots in the team.

Virender Sehwag: He has done absolutely nothing of note in the last year or so. He's been an abject failure in ODIs for a couple of years now. And his test performances have been steadily dipping. Add to it his cavalier attitude and expanding waistline and its clear that he's getting too big for his boots. And he hasn't yet realized that teams actually give him width so they can catch him near third man. He needs to be sent back to the domestic arena to learn his lesson and to rediscover his hunger.

Mohm Kaif: He's always been a strokeless wonder of the Sidhu mould. But he had heart and was a great fielder, so I thought he would come good at some point of time. But despite a few promising 50s, he's never take over the mantle of senior player that was expected of him. You cannot remain a 'young turk' for 5 years.

Suresh Raina: When I first saw him bat, I couldn't believe he was a fresher. He was so authoritative and showed no sign of nerves. But all that has fallen by the wayside. He might be someone for the future, but for now he needs to do his stint in the domestic league.

Ajit Agarkar: I'm shocked to see how this guy manages to always find a spot on the Indian team despite consistently dismal failures. Its probably because the really promising bowlers (Zaheer, Irfan, Balaji) lose their way after a couple of promising series, and the selectors always seem to turn to Agarkar, knowing he can't possibly get any worse than he already is. Its time to say goodbye to him once and for all. That said, here's a beautiful piece by Anand Vasu on the enigma that is Ajit Agarkar and why I might actually be wrong in my assessment. Who cares though! Its my blog and I don't want Agarkar in the team anymore.

I'm also seriously worried about Irfan, who seemed to be a great all-rounder prospect. He bowls 125 kmph lollypops these days. Justin Kemp could take a potty break in the middle of the delivery, come back and then smash it for a six. I think the problem with these young guys stem from the fact that they've all been hand picked from the under 19 or India A teams. They've never had to slog it out in the domestic arena. I know its not highly competitive, but you still need to put in the time. There is a vast difference between facing a under 19 Zimbabwe bowlers and then facing the music from Makhaya Ntini. Another problem is that our 'stars' do not play domestic cricket. This takes away a great opportunity for these up and coming talents to rub their shoulders with the best in the business.

So now, we're welcoming back Ganguly in the test team and Laxman in the one-day team. Wait a minute! Shouldn't it be the other way around? Ganguly has always been a more than average ODI player, but a seriously flawed test player. And who knows, Laxman might be able to bring a semblance of stability to the ODI team, despite his dodgy knees and penchant for getting people run out. And making him the vice captain for the test team is a great move and sends a clear signal to Sehwag.

I also think Dinesh Karthik is a great prospect and should be given regular chances while keeping Dhoni as the first choice. Karthik's keeping seems to have improved a great deal and he's always been considered a very talented batsman, by none other than Robin Singh. Munaf Patel is coming along fine despite the injury, and Zaheer seems to have found his purpose in life on this comeback.

So where does all this leave the Indian team? All our batsmen seem to have lost their form. We can't bat for 50 overs. Our bowling is inconsistent, thought definitely performing better than the batters at tge moment. We have a few options and maybe could put together a decent 11 soon. But we have no bench strength and the prospects don't seem too bright in the near future. I would probably not harbor too many hopes for the World cup next year. And we're probably gonna get our ass whooped in the test series as well in SA.

But again, who knows! Ganguly might play one of those Brisbane innings, and the team might rediscover the joy and pride of playing for the country. And we might even start a successful run that culminates in the world cup. Sorry, just trying my hand at some optimism. Doesn't always come naturally to me...

Worst movie ever?

2006-11-20T11:12:00.000-06:00

Ok folks. I finally have a serious candidate for the title of 'the world's worst movie ever'. No, its not a Salman Khan starrer from bollywood or an equally mind-boggling cabtun fun fest from kollywood. This one come straight out of Hollywood and stars a bona fide actor and all. Yeah, 'Nacho Libre' is my candidate. And man, does it make a good case!!!

I've always kind of liked Jack Black. He has a goofy sense of humor, great facial expressions and he does not take himself too seriously. Movies like 'Shallow Hal' and 'School of Rock' had a heart as well. So when TV ads for his new movie came out, with Jack Black clad in skin tight pants in a wresting ring, I thought good ol' Jack might have done it again. It was also fun to shout "Naachoooooo Liibbbreeeeee" in a sort of hugh pitched tone and jump around on the couch just enough to irritate W and funkaboy. I would repeat this everytime the ad came on, even back to back ones. I was carried away so much by my own hype that I even considered watching it in a theater at one point of time. Now, I shudder at the thought.

Anyhoo, I picked up the DVD on a lazy weekday and settled down for an evening of fun and macho with Nacho (okay, I only did that for the rhyme!). And boy, was I wrong? The movie had only enough dialogs to fill up an A4 sheet, and approximately 76% of that was in Spanish. Nacho is brought up in an orphanage in some godforsaken part of Mexico filled with weird characters, and he harbors hopes of making it into the wrestling world, a la, WWF. Along the way, he meets the guy who would undoubtedly be the worst sidekick ever, falls in love with a nun and takes us through some lame ass stunts (literally!). The movie conveys absolutely nothing, and I'm being generous here. I'm fine with that if there were some funny episodes along the way. Nada, here too. Jack does not even try to be funny most of the time. He thinks that he can just show up in a scene, blurt something in Spanish, clench his ass and act all serious and self-introspective and the audience will roll over with laughter. Well, roll over I did. Not with laughter, but because I was being seriously beaten up by W for subjecting her to such torture.

So did I manage to watch the whole movie? Sure, I did. Partly because I'm a closet sado-masochist and partly because I wanted to see how bad the movie could get or if it might redeem itself towards the end. No such luck. This is not so much a review of the movie, but a rant from a demoralized fan of Jack Black. I donn't even understand what the motivation was to make such a movie. Don't tell me they didn't know this movie would be a total flop! It has nothing going for it whatsoever.

So let me sign off with a piece of advice you guys are going to thank me later for - DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!

Don

2006-11-07T10:51:00.000-06:00

"Don ko pakadna mushkil nahi hai.. na mumkin hai". Translation for the no hindi malum junta, "Its not difficult to catch Don.. its damned near impossible". This is the clincher dialogue in the movie Don, the latest blockbuster from Bollywood. With Shah Rukh 'King Khan' in the lead and Farhan Akhtar of the 'Dil Chahta Hai' fame behind the wheel, a lot of expectations were riding on this movie. Not to mention the fact that they were attempting to recreate the magic of the original Bachan-starrer. Did they come through in the end? Let me walk you through my experience and then you can decide.

Yes, I admit it. I went for the movie. I could not say no to Kaboor who drove all the way from downtown (35 miles) to our suburbs, and W who's been jumping up and down ever since this movie came out. We walked in to the theater, the biggest one in AMC30 and there were just 2 people in the entire place. A few walked in once the movie started, but still the count could not have been more than 10. To be fair to Don, its been almost 2 weeks since it released and we went on a slow weekday.

I vaguely remember seeing the original Big B version of the movie, but don't remember much of it. I actually remember more of the story from 'Billa' a tamil remake of the movie that catapulted the inimitable Rajnikanth thalaivar to fame. When Shah Rukh Khan walks in clad completely in tight black leather with gloves and goggles and an old ass Razr phone to boot... let's face it, I thought the movie was doomed. However, by some combination of unseen forces, the movie held my attention for the better part of 3 hrs.

Ofcourse, it didn't hurt that there was a lot of eye candy around. Kareena Kappor plays the role that Helen did in the original movie. And even today, Helen has the sort of fan following and nostalgia that seems silly to waste on a screen vamp. But she has shaken it quite a bit in a lot of hit song sequences. The good thing is Kareens has put on a bit of weight, and hence would appeal better to South Indian folks like me. Bad thing is she still can't act. Anyway, she's gone in a few minutes, so we can all breathe a sigh of relief. Then comes Isha Koppikar who's completely wasted in the movie. She just lies around swimming pools looking good, and gives her best shot in a couple of song sequences. She does come through in the end. Priyanka Chopra seems to get delicious with every movie. She's shown as some kind of martial arts expert in the movie and i'm fine with that. But how the hell does she manage to penetrate the upper most echelons of an elite international mafia organization with just a staged shooting, I don't understand! And then, she's riding bikes, kidnapping people, playing with guns and knives, all without any formal training or experience. Impressive!

The biggest letdown in the movie is Bummer Irani, i'm sorry, Boman Irani as DCP DeSilva. Don't get me wrong. I have the higest regard for Boman Irani as an actor. I really liked him in 'Mein Hoon Na', the very impressive 'Being Cyrus' and more recently in 'Lage Raho Munnabhai'. But casting him as a police officer who shares as much screentime as Shak Rukh? Come on, are you kidding me!!! He's definitely bit off more than he can chew here. His facial expressions are constipated for the most part, and I'm being kind here. The shooting scenes were Boman tries to do typical gun combat poses behind cars are hilarious. He tiptoes around like Donald Duck on Ecstacy! And ofcourse, there's the big climax suspense. Okay, let me not play too much of a spoilsport here. But I'm going to be very wary of watching another movie where boman plays such a big role! The other disappointment is Om Puri, as the man form Interpol. He just walks around looking very important and gets screwed by everyone. When him and Boman with their bulging bellies and receding hairlines, are trying to track down AK47-toting mafia men in a parking lot, you are caught between laughing your ass off and feeling sorry for the Indian police force.

And ofcourse, there is King Khan. I guess there were a lot of apprehensions about whether he would be able to pull off a role that has become synonymous with Big B. I'm not sure how he fared in that department, and I guess I was lucky in that I did not have to keep comparing it with the original. But I think he did a good job. Let me start with Shah rukh's wardrobe. Have you seen a family with four kids ranging from 3-16 years of age, each wearing the exact same shirt and trousers? The parents would probably just buy a massive piece of cloth to economize. In Don, Shah Rukh wears these bright colorful shirts, and then a tie inside the shirt of the exact same cloth. A tight checked pant usually goes with this. The end result is that the fearsome mafia leader ends up appearing a bit on the gayish side. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it becomes difficult to take him seriously as a guy who goes about killing for fun! And wait till you see all the towels and bath robes King Khan wears. They're all inscribed with a big 'D' symbol, just in case we forget the name of the movie. Shah Rukh playing the part of the paan-spitting simpleton Vijay is unremarkable. Apart from a good song ('Paan Banaras Waala..."), he does precious little.

The plot, I'm told, deviates from the original towards the end. I thought the story had a lot of twists and turns that kept you guessing. A few of these are a bit over the top. But hey, this is a Hindi movie! If you brought your logic along with you to the theater, then you're either absent-minded or overly optimistic. The movie has a very slick look and feel, especially with the editing and photography. Shah Rukh uses the song sequences to put on various pimp-like costumes, complete with velvet and frills... but to his credit, he' s probably the only Bollywood hero who can pull off such outrageous costumes.

And now for the second admission - yes I enjoyed the movie! so what's the verdict? If you're a Shah Rukh fan, this movie will make you really happy. If you enjoy slick action movies or just want a masala movie to watch with your friends on a weekend, then this movie will work. For the rest of you I want movie with logic and sense losers as well as the no hindi malum Shah rukh is a funny guy gang, stay away!

An Aussie travel blog in India

2006-11-06T16:21:00.000-06:00

I was doing some research about some travel spots for my upcoming India trip and happened to chance on this travel blog. It is written by an Aussie woman, Donna Rendell, who's spent 6 months traveling all over India. The travel blog is intended to serve more as her biography rather than any intentional tour guide. However, the part I liked the best was her last entry, where she summarizes her stay and bids adew to India. She also succintly summarizes the country and its people, that I found refreshingly honest without being patronizing, as Western tourists usually are when they travel in a third-world country.

For example, her take on Indian politeness...
You’ll never hear “excuse me” … instead you’ll be knocked over as people push past you to get on buses, trains, into or out of a store, footpaths.

Or about Bollywood. Although, I do think she's mistaken the Kollywood and the Mallu/Telugu industrues for Bollywood...
Most Bollywood leading men are uuuugly, fat and have big moustaches.

And our love for music...
There’s only two volumes for music here. Off and really fucken loud (and distorted)!

And our love for jeans...
All the bad jeans come here to die.

And the most hilarious observation of all - the unusual Indian habit of holding hands, even among males. This shocks even me when I go back to India these days. I know you guys are crying "hypocrite!!!", but I just can't help it...
I thought all the men were gay when I first got here ‘cause they all hold hands - even the police officers.

Here's the link to the complete article...

In summary, a decent travel blog and a great commentary on backpacking across India. And to think that I haven't even visited Taj Mahal (despite living in Rajasthan for 4 years) or Kerala (yes, my neighboring state!). Hopefully, I'll manage to spend that much time traveling across India some day. Although, I suspect our prejudices will not let us absorb as much of the culture and people.

How I ran the marathon - Part 2

2006-11-02T15:19:00.000-06:00

Let's continue with the story of how my Chicago marathon unfolded. Instead of the actual time, I'll use the mileage as my reference.

100 metres: The only thought on my mind was "Man, this is friggin' cold!". Looked up to see the display board flashing 38F. I'm sure the wind chill by the lake would have brought it down by atleast another 10 degrees. But it was fun! I knew there's gonna be a lot of supporters, but I hadn't signed up for this. I couldn't believe the enthusiasm. What would make you get out of bed on a cold cold day and walk down to michigan ave to support some strange marathoners? I wouldn't do it even if my brother or wife were running it! Saw 2 guys running together. The caption on the back of one guy's t-shirt read "I'm nailing his sister" with an arror below pointing to the other guy. Guess they must've been brothers-in-law, but it was just one example of all the hilarious t-shirts I saw that day.

1 mile: Still very cold. Overtaking me was a group of runners all dressed as superheroes, complete with masks and capes.

3 miles: The crowd and the noise was carrying me along, but I knew I had to slow down to prevent, or atleast delay, my injury from acting up. So I turned to SpiceTooth and asked him to go ahead. I didn't want to slow him down. So it was with a heavy heart (?!) that we both parted. We won't be completing the marathon together like we did for the half-marathon last year. I prepared myself for the next few hours of running on my own with noone to talk to. Ofcourse, there were a lot of strangers that I met and struck up conversations along the way.

5 miles: People constantly came up to me and commented that my t-shirt was very funny. It was an ASHa t-shirt with a few reasons for "Why do I run?" printed on the back. Things like "I run because the beer tastes so much better afterwards" must have really struck a chord with all those people.

7 miles: I could feel the twinge on my left thigh and knew the IT band injury was acting up. So I decided to mix my running with occasional walking. Downtown was beautiful. Lots of gatorade stands along the way and no dearth of supporters. Around this time, we were near the Lincoln park museum I think. I'd been holding in my pee for a bit and saw a few port-a-potties. Unfortunately, there was a long queue. Next to it was a lawn and there were guys sneaking up behind bushes and trees. So being the true desi I am, I couldn't let this opportunity to pee publicly in Chicago downtown go abegging. I walked on the lawn and was shocked to find a guy far away actually taking a dump by a bush. I turned away. But I was quite curious as to how he planned to clean up, if you know what I mean. to my complete shock, he just got up, zipped up his pants and went back to running. Just when I recovered from the shock, I realized something else. It was actually a woman. And she was just peeing. Like the rest of us. I guess everyone has their absolute pee holding limit.

10 miles: By now, the pain was quite evident. Ran with a few pacing groups. Different pacing groups target different speeds/timing for the marathon. This is usually, displayed on a placard carried by one of them. We had taken a U and were heading back into downtown on a parallel road. Turned a corner to hear some great jazz music blaring out of a house. Pepped up the good old soggy spirit!

12 miles: I was beginning to wonder if I were ever gonna meet W, Funkaboy, Kaboor and the rest of the cheer squad. Just passed Boys town, the official gay neighborhood of Chicago. There was a great dance troupe executing a routine that would have been unacceptable anywhere but a male strip joint. Hilarious! Saw a cross-dressing band as well.

13 miles: Almost exactly near the half-way point, I saw them. Kaboor was shouting and jumping and W was holding up her camera and waving to me. Funkaboy was right behind. Man, was I glad to see them. Walked up to them, gave W a hug. Learnt that SpiceTooth was just a 10-15 minutes ahead of me. Funkaboy commented that my eyes were red and bleary. It was the cold. I left them and continued on. This was the morale booster I needed.

15 miles: Passed through Greektown, right by Pegasus. Memories of previous night's sumptuous dinner and great wine came to mind. My stomach was positively rumbling now and I needed to eat something. Fast.

17 miles: I was outside UIC (University of Illinois at Chicago), my alma mater. Noticed that a few things had changed in the building and there was a new state-of-the-art gym across the road. Ran by my lab and crossed Thai Bowl, and onto Little Italy. There were the old UIC days' hang outs. Just when I was getting nostalgic, I noticed people handing out caffeinated energy bars. Grabbed a couple and started chewing on them. Felt a lot better. Just then, I saw the cheer squad again, this time with KKM, who lived in the neighborhood. Kaboor was positively out of control screamig and cheering me on. He was full of advice on how I need to slow down near the finish line with my arms raised, so I will be captured on a few cameras.

19 miles: Passed the Latino neighborhood. Realized I'd never been in this part of town. By now, I was very tired, and the pain in the left knee was growing at an alarming rate. When I ran, I realized I was limping, running with one good foot while dragging the other. I saw a lot of people with exactly the same kind of injury. I knew because they were doing stretches designed specifcally for this. A dad had brought his 3-yr old daughter to meet his wife who was running. The cute little girl started running with her mother for a few metres. Quite touching!

21 miles: Was looking forward to the ASHA stall. Was disappointed to realize that there was no stall and it was only a few ASHA guys and girls cheering us on. In any case, it was nice to see a few familiar faces and wave at them.

23 miles: Crossed China town and a few dancing dragons. I was having a hard time even walking now. Infact, running seemed to be easier than walking. I was also taking too long for each mile. Somewhere along the way, we passed the IIT (Illinois Institute of Technology) as well. There was an African band drumming away a very peppy beat.

24 miles: All around me, I saw people limping. A few were being supported by friends and relatives for the last leg of the journey.

25 miles: Finally, hit Michigan avenue again. Each of the last few miles seemed to take an eternity. I just wanted to get this over with. Everywhere, people held up boards that said things like "you're almost there!" and "Don't give up now" and "Pain is just weakness leaving the body". Very sweet of them, but I was all ready to give up.

26 miles: Yoohoo! saw the last mile marker. Just 0.2 miles to go now. I decided I wanted to run the last part atleast without stopping. I was rejuvenated and was looking forward to seeing the old gang at the finish line. Started seeing boards for 800 mts, 400 mts and 100 mts to go.

26.2 miles: THE END. I saw the gang sitting on the benches right next to the finish line. SpiceTooth had finished by then and had joined them. I started waving at them and crossed the line. Heeded kaboor's advice and took my time when I crossed the line with my hands raised. Sure enough, got some good snaps! Grabbed some biscuits and bananas to eat. Received my medal gleefully, took a few photos and then joined the my friends outside the runners' area.

All in all, quite an unforgettable experience. The support and encouragement from everyone along the 26.2 mile stretch was just unbelievable. I thought to myself that this couldn't happen anywhere else but Chicago. And ofcourse, what can I say about my friends' gang! Its hard to find such a supportive, loyal and enthusiastic bunch of friends. This includes my girl W, always right by me encouraging and reassuring when there appear to me so silver linings. Finally, all those friends and strangers who contributed generously towards my ASHA cause. No amount is small for a good cause. I couldn't have done this without each one of them.

I'm not usually the kind to be proud of myself, irrespective of what I do or achieve in life. But on Oct 22nd 2006, I was a proud man. A marathon has always appeared to be the ultimate test of character and spirit. A test of putting mind over matter. Now, I feel like I can do anything.

How I ran the marathon - Part 1

2006-10-26T10:33:00.000-05:00

Yes, hard to believe isn't it? If someone had brought up this possibility a few years ago, I would have laughed it off and questioned his/her sanity. But on Oct 22nd, I successfully ran and completed the Chicago marathon. Please don't ask me what my timing was. Baguth bad! My excuse is that I was carrying an injury, and the race time was the last thing on my mind. I just wanted to finish it and get the damned medal.

Here is how the race unfolded...

Oct 21st dinner (eve of marathon) : Accepting the gracious invitation of G and ~ET~, we (Spicetooth, Funkaboy and I) made our way to their place in downtown. Stopped at McCormick's place to pick up the raceday stuff (t-shirt, bib, timing chip etc.) and went with the guys to Dinner at Pegasus, a classy restaurant in Greektown.

Oct 21st midnight: Been trying to sleep for an hour, but the incessant noise and partying in the next room was keeping me awake. Jay as usual was in his elements, getting bitch ass drunk and raising hell. The efforts of everyone else in calming him down was to no avail. Finally, I had to tell him off and they called it a night. Or did they? The horror stories about what happened later that night were recounted to me later, and they still come back to haunt me in my dreams! They are blog posts for another day.

Oct 22nd 2AM: I've never been able to sleep if I knew I had to get up early for something important, like catching a flight, diwali or exams. So ofcourse I lay awake. Add to that the noise that the toilet flush was making. For some reason, it wouldn't stop. The wastage of water bothered me as much as the noise.

Raceday 5:20AM: Was actually relieved to get up and get going. A quick shower and other race day preparations followed. You don't want to know my routine. Let's just say it required applying 'glide' to unmentionable parts of the body to reduce friction and chaffing and putting band aid on my nipples and ... ok, I'll stop it.

Raceday 6:30AM: We were dropped off at the Charity village near Millennium park, where Spicetooth and I made our way to the ASHA tent. The previous night had rained cats and dogs. The lawns were slushy and the whole area was a mess. And it was friggin' cold. 38F with a scheduled 45F high. That's 4C. With the windchill near the lake, it was definitely feeling like subzero. Hands were getting chilled, and I was terrified to take off my track pants (had shorts underneath). Caught up with some running buddies, did some stretching and took some photos.

Raceday 8AM: The race got underway. Was planning to run with another guy at the same slow pace, but lost him in the crowd even at the start. But the atmosphere was electric. People were pumped up. Music was blaring. And the wind was chilling us to our bones. With more than 40,000 people running the marathon, it took around 25 mins for us to even reach the starting point. It was funny to think that the Kenyans would have already completed 5 miles by the time we started :) The crowd was cheering us on loudly, and I had goose bumps. Never felt anything like that. And then, I was off on my first marathon...

Look for Part 2 of this post where I describe the actual run in more detail.

Chicago marathon - ARE YOU READY???

2006-10-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

Months of preparation, shin splints, recoveries, iliotibial band injuries, breaks, suckall weather, rainy days, busy days, lazy days, new shoes, millions of gatorades, introspection, repentance, encouragement from friends, support from outsiders, unexpected donations to my cause and a few other episodes later... yeah baby! ITS CRUNCH TIME!!!!!!!

The Chicago marathon is slated for this Sunday (Oct 22nd), and yes, I am running it.

I'm still not confident that I'll complete the Chicago marathon. When I started serious running a couple of years ago, I suffered from shin splints. There's a big ass bone running on the inside of your legs between the knee and your ankle. With the constant pounding while running, shock waves travel up this bone, weakening it and causing inflamation and acute pain. So I did some research and realized that the main causes were bad shoes and improper running style. That's when I got my first pair of New Balance shoes. I also realized I was landing on my heel and that's not really recommended. Slowly, I changed my running style to land on my foot. Its a lot more smoother and painless. Result: No more Shin splints.

A few weeks ago, after I ran my 15-miles, I couldn't get rid of the pain around my ankle. Heeding a fellow runner's recommendation, I made my way to Runner's High, a specialty runner's store in Arlington Heights. The saleswoman, a marathoner herself, asked me to walk around and inspected me as I did. She told me I had a habit of pronating my feet a bit on the inside when I land my feetand she produced a pair of NewBalance shoes that has extra cushioning for people with this problem. Result: Ankle pain disappeared.

It was the weekend of a 14-miler. I was running with a group of ASHA runners when I started feeling a slight muscle strain in my left thigh. Shrugging it off as a temporary glitch, I kep running. And the pain got intense. Around the 9-10 mile mark, I could not run anymore. Even walking took a lot of effort and I limped my way back to my car. I was told that I had an iliotibial injury, commonly referred to as the IT band injury. These are a bunch of strong muscles that run along the outside of your thighs connecting your knee with your torso. When these muscles tighten from the run, they start pulling at the knee causing excruciating pain. Once you stop running, the pain automatically goes away only to reappear during the next run. Apparently, this is one of the most common injuries for runners. that did nothing to cheer me up obviously. So I researched some more and talked to fellow runners who've been through this. I started a series of stretching exercises and applied icepack regularly. After almost a 2-week break, I decided to risk it and complete the longest run in marathon training - a whopping 20 miles. The injury did show up, but I managed to combine a lot of walking with my run and somehow managed to complete it. That has given me a lot of confidence. Result: Hoping to atleast crawl to the finish line on Sunday.

In the meantime, this year has been the busiest of my life by far. This was the year that I made the commitment. Yes, i'm soon tying the knot with my best friend of 7 years. In the meantime, I'm also applying to Business Schools for a full-time MBA starting Fall 07. Targeting 5 schools in Round 1 is not easy, and its been a whirlwhind of essays, recommendations, e-mails to friends and cry for help. Meanwhile, at work, I've moved into a position where I'm leading a project and managing a few people. As you can see, training for the marathon has taken a lot of commitment. There's a lot of wedding planning I need to be doing at the moment. But considering my other commitments, my girl W has been incredibly supportive. During my weekday runs, she gave me company on her rollerblades and kept me motivated. When I came back home after my run, tired and hungry, she had delicious food on the table and even an occasional beer.

I'm immensely grateful to all those people who've contributed to my ASHA cause. You've really made all this worthwhile. I'm very close to my $1800 goal, and am hoping to reach it very soon with my Seattle friends pitching in at the last moment.

Here's a funny personal story by funkaboy about running.

Here's an inspirational video about what a marathon actually means. And finally, I leave you with this incredible video on the Chicago marathon. I don't care if you don't click on any other link on this blog, please click on the second video on this page (The LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon Highlights Video). 40000 runners and around a million supporters and watchers on. This promises to be the adventure of a lifetime. I just hope I'm left standing at the end of it all. And 30 years later, when I have my grandkids on my lap and recount stories from my life, I can say "Yes, I ran the Chicago marathon"...

Why not a boy amma?

2006-10-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

Was talking to my cousin Sugan in CA the other day. She recalled an interesting encounter with her 4 yr old son Shreyas. Sugan has been frequently reminding him that Karthik uncle and W aunty are soon getting married in India. So Shreyas wanted to know what a 'marriage' is. Sugan sits him down and explains how when 2 people love each other, they want to spend the rest of their lives together and have kids and all that good stuff. At the end of her lecture, Shreyas comes up with the next question "When am I getting married amma?" in that cute kiddo American accent. Sugan smiles to herself and tells him that once he grows up like Karthik mama, she will find him a very cute girl.

And now for the clincher! What do you think Shreyas' follow-up question would have been? If you haven't guessed already, please refer to the title of this post.

I was rolling around with laughter while Sugan was cursing herself for settling down close to SFO. She's probably hoping Shreyas chooses the fireman costume over the fairy costume for halloween. Ah! kids these days...

Disclaimer: Not that there is anything wrong with it!

The flight that never was

2006-10-02T14:56:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking about my fllight to Philadelphia for a while now. I'd informed my friends in Philly that I'll be landing there this week, and had sent one of them my flight itinerary. Yesterday evening, I started getting mentally prepared for my flight journey today. After the football game (Go Bears!!!) and 3 beers at a friends place, I came back and dutifully pressed a formal shirt and a pant. I got up this morning, packed my bag, wore jeans and t-shirt for my afternoon flight (its normally business casuals at work) and came to work. I was going to leave at around 2 to the airport. Just to be on the safer side, I sent another e-mail to my Philly friend reminding him about my visit and asking him where he should pick me up.

His reply came instantaneously:
is it today / tomorrow, your ticket says tuesday oct 3rd :)

That's when I actually looked at my e-ticket. There it was, in big bold letters. Departing Oct 3rd (Tuesday). I am flying tomorrow, not today. After all the packing and mental preparation and informing my team-mates, I was just going to be in Chicago.

Crap!

The Chicago Marathon, ASHA and me

2006-09-14T14:35:00.000-05:00

This has been a long time coming. I thought long and hard about using my personal blog as a fund-raising medium. But then I said "what the heck, its my blog!". And anyways, maybe after providing some decent entertainment over the last few months, my readers might be inclined to help me out with a noble cause.

So here goes...

I'll be running the Chicago marathon on Oct 22nd in an effort to raise funds for ASHA, a non profit organization that works towards improving the lives of underprivileged children in India.

I've been interested in distance-running for a couple of years now, and I did complete the Chicago half-marathon last year. But a full marathon has always appeared to be an extreme task, almost a test of character, to me. But this fundraising opportunity has given me that little extra push and motivation to give this a shot. I have been running with a local group that ASHA has tied up with and its been a lot of fun.

Check out these links for more information about ASHA and this fund raising program
http://www.ashanet.org/chicago/events/2006/marathon

and check out my page at
http://www.ashanet.org/chicago/events/2006/marathon/index.php?page=runner/karthik/profile

I understand that you might already be familiar with this wonderful organization, but might have commitments to other charities. I would encourage you to take a look at the web-sites and learn about ASHA's work and projects. Feel free to contribute to my run if you wish (you can pay with your credit card via paypal). Also you're welcome to pass this info on to others who might be interested. My goal is to raise $2620 ($100 per mile), and I hope you will help me get there.

The Roger Federer Experience

2006-09-11T14:33:00.000-05:00

I watched a tennis match after a long long time yesterday. It was the US Open men's finals between defending champ Roger Federer and Andy Roddick. And what a game it was! I've heard and read many things about Federer the last few years, but none of that prepared me for what I saw. The man is sheer brilliance, and I couldn't take my eyes off him. Chicago bears were annihilating Green Bay Packers on another channel. I admit I'm not the biggest football fan, but normally I would've switched between the games. No, not this one.

Federer is good looking in that sleek Russian mafia hit man sort of way. This is accentuated by the fact that he never gets riled up. He has this cool about him. And his game! What can I say. I've seen Boris Becker and John McEnroe serving and volleying. I've seen Ivanisevic serves and Andrew Agassi returns. I've seen Pete Sampras' athleticism and Michael Chang's speed. But I've never seen all this in one person.

It all starts with the serve. He can pull out aces when he's cornered. After the serve, he mixes up his game. The opponent never knows if he's going to approach the net or battle it out from the baseline. And he moves with a sort of lithe grace, like a ballet dancer. He never seems hurried. He just gets to the spot a microsecond before the ball is on him. the ball seems to hang in the air, while he goes through a list of possibilities of where to hit the ball, at what speed and at what angle. Once he's eliminated all human possibilities, he comes up with that shot that no one else can replicate. It could be his signature whipped forehand shot that rips out an opponent's will to live, or his heavy topspinned backhand that could travel just as fast or float and drop on the baseline. And the audience gasps in that Federer moment.

Roddick is no dummy. He showed a lot of spirit and put up a fair fight. And for a while in the third set when he had Federer 1 set all and 0-40 down, it looked like this might go down to the wire. But Federer has this aura of invincibility about him. You just know he's not going to let this match go on for too long, much less lose it. You just know its only a matter of time before he elevates his game. And elevate, he did! For the next 20 or so minutes, Roddick did'nt know what hit him. Federer moved to the next plane of existence and forgot to inform Roddick about it.

Ahhh! The pure joy of watching a perfect tennis player... In your mind, you see your man approach the shot. With your camera view, you think you know where he needs to hit it to turn it into a winner. And those few times when you are right and when you see Federer hit that shot better than you had imagined it, you let out a slight gasp, hold your breath and stare bewildered at the screen.

He'll probably go on to be come the greatest tennis player of all time. He'll probably beat the record for most number of grand slams held by Sampras. But to me, all this is besides the point. When I watch Sachin Tendulkar, I'm not thinking about the runs and records he's amassed. I am only interested in the moment. When he rises up on his toes and punches a perfect outswinger through the cover, the feeling is hard to describe. That's genius. And Roger Federer, to me, is a genius. The one that comes along once in a generation. And watching him is pure entertainment and elevation from reality. A whiff of the impossible in our everyday mediocre lives.

One of the best articles about sports I've read a long time is this one by David Foster Wallace.
I leave you with an interesting excerpt:

It’s the finals of the 2005 U.S. Open, Federer serving to Andre Agassi early in the fourth set. There’s a medium-long exchange of groundstrokes, one with the distinctive butterfly shape of today’s power-baseline game, Federer and Agassi yanking each other from side to side, each trying to set up the baseline winner...until suddenly Agassi hits a hard heavy cross-court backhand that pulls Federer way out wide to his ad (=left) side, and Federer gets to it but slices the stretch backhand short, a couple feet past the service line, which of course is the sort of thing Agassi dines out on, and as Federer’s scrambling to reverse and get back to center, Agassi’s moving in to take the short ball on the rise, and he smacks it hard right back into the same ad corner, trying to wrong-foot Federer, which in fact he does — Federer’s still near the corner but running toward the centerline, and the ball’s heading to a point behind him now, where he just was, and there’s no time to turn his body around, and Agassi’s following the shot in to the net at an angle from the backhand side...and what Federer now does is somehow instantly reverse thrust and sort of skip backward three or four steps, impossibly fast, to hit a forehand out of his backhand corner, all his weight moving backward, and the forehand is a topspin screamer down the line past Agassi at net, who lunges for it but the ball’s past him, and it flies straight down the sideline and lands exactly in the deuce corner of Agassi’s side, a winner — Federer’s still dancing backward as it lands. And there’s that familiar little second of shocked silence from the New York crowd before it erupts, and John McEnroe with his color man’s headset on TV says (mostly to himself, it sounds like), “How do you hit a winner from that position?” And he’s right: given Agassi’s position and world-class quickness, Federer had to send that ball down a two-inch pipe of space in order to pass him, which he did, moving backwards, with no setup time and none of his weight behind the shot. It was impossible. It was like something out of “The Matrix.”

Of crocodile hunters, elephants and dog chasers

2006-09-08T11:10:00.000-05:00

By now, the news of Steve Irwin's (a la Crocodile hunter) untimely death have been reported and analyzed by every known news channel on earth. I admit I've not seen much of him except for a few minutes of curiosity spent on his show while flipping though channels. But what I saw ofSteve would make me pause for a minute with my jaw wide open, shake my head incredulously and mutter to myself "These crazy Aussies!". What Stevie boy could do with crocodiles, snakes and other ferocious animals was just too much for me to take. Here is a wonderful article on what he meant to small boys all over the world who dream of a world of marvellous adventures.

Personally, I've never been a big fan of animals. Infact, I've always been downright animal-unfriendly. This, despite me being a vegetarian. And animals somehow seem to sense this quality in me. Growing up, there were numerous instances of being chased by dogs while on foot, bicycle or scooter. My problem has always been their unpredictability. You never know if a dog is gonna lick you, bite you, or worse, pee on you. I've seen my brother playing with cats and getting scratched and bloodied all over. Its another thing that he threw them around. And animals, especially cats, don't let that sort of thing go unnoticed. I'm also probably the only kid who has grown up in Chennai without riding horses on the Marina beach.

My summers spent in my village brought me closer to animals in a way. There were all those cows and calves in our cowshed. We would feed our favorite ones, pet them and pamper them. But boys being boys, we could be cruel as well. My cousins and I would let small calves run around and then try to catch them like Spanish bullfighters. The fact that they did not have horns made this task a little frustrating.

One of the things that I constantly get needled about is my fear of elephants. Yes, I know! They are the most benign of creatures, everyone has told me. While I was a kid, I heard the story about how the great Tamil poet and freedom fighter Subramanya Bharathi got trampled by an elephant and died. This somehow has left a lasting impact on me at an impressionable age. Ever since I heard that story, I've sworn off elephants, even the well-trained ones you see in temples and doing rounds on the streets in Chennai. When an elephant comes to the street, all the kids will be cheering it on and running towards it to offer sweets, and in turn, get blessed by its trunk. I would be the only kid on the block moving from the ground floor of my house to the terrace in record time. And I would refuse to come down till the elephant has disappeared into the distance and the crowd had dispersed. Later, I learnt that Bharathi infact did not die from the elephant attack. His health just deteriorated soon after. Nevertheless, even now, when I come across elephants in South Indian temples, I avoid them at all costs. People sometimes mistake it for a sign of maturity and lack of superstition. Its not. Its just plain fear!

Dogs are another of my pet peeves. Having never been around pet dogs, I don't know how to react to them. This problem has been exacerbated by the fact that my fiancee is a sworn dog lover. Any time she sees someone walking a dog, even the ugliest one, she would stop chit chat, pet the dog and leave with a happy smile and some dog saliva on her face. And now she's training me to pet dogs. So if I'm with her during a dog encounter, I gingerly step near the dog touch the fur and appear to be ecstatic. I know the dog can smell my uneasiness and its probably rolling around laughing on the inside knowing my plight. After marriage, there are talks of adopting a dog. I'll probably have to pretend that I have dog allergies or something like that.

Be that as it may, Steve Irwin has been a great example of what an animal-lover could do to popularize environmental conservation even without formal training. Its amazing to watch how easy and comfortable he is around all kinds of creatures. And despite all my shortcomings in the art of animal-handling, I hope to be able to go on a horse ride or be touched (only on the head ofcourse!) by an elephant one day. Or maybe I might adopt a dog, play with it, take it for walks and clean its poop when noone's looking.

Zidane episode update

2006-09-06T09:49:00.000-05:00

This is a follow up to my old post on the Zidane episode.

So I was watching some news segment yessterday, and the Zidane headbutting incident again got a mention. I started wondering why they were recycling such old news and whether the American media has run out of material. Just then, it became clear why. The details of the conversation between Zidane and Materazzi have been made public.

The whole incident ran out like this. Materazzi kept pulling on Zidane's jersey throughout the game. So Zidane told him "Why do you keep pulling on my shirt? I'll give it to you once the game is over". To this, came what could be one of the greatest comebacks of all time. Materrazi replied "I prefer your sister". Something inside Zidane went awry, he turned around and the rest, as they say, is headbutting history.

I was quite surprised. Zidane, with his years of European league experience, must've seen far worse than this. He should've just come back with something clever like "But she prefers guys" or "Are you done with yours?". Instead, he went off his rocker and spoilt an incredible opportunity to go out in a blaze.

Product Management and MBA

2006-09-05T11:00:00.000-05:00

Product management seems to be probably one of the most important, and concurrently one of the least understood, job responsibilities in any industry. Depending on the industry and company, any and all of the following responsibilities could be performed by a Product Manager.

1. Envisioning a product - consumer research, user profile etc.
2. Product lifecycle management - this would include managing a product from conception to delivery. This could comprise project management duties as well since you'll probably be running a cross-functional team
3. Marketing - create product awareness, brand management, targeted advertising, sales etc.

As you can see, this is truly a cross-functional job that includes both strategic planning and tactical acumen. Okay, before I start firing MBA jargon randomly, I should clarify this statement. 'Strategy' mainly deals with the big picture. It is about having a long-term vision for the company and working towards it. 'Tactical' on the other hand is concerned with the details, implementation and getting stuff done.

So a complete Product manager should have the following skills/talents in my opinion.
1. Industry experience - If you want to be a Product manager, say for a telecom product, experience in the industry and a good technical background will definitely help.
2. Marketing skills - A good amount of a PM's time will be spent on this. So strong marketing and analytical skills, ability to work with numbers as well as people, communication etc.
3. Cross-funcitonal skills - A working knowledge of Finance, Sales, Engineering etc. since you will have to lead a mish mash team and will be involved in every aspect of product development.

So how do you get into such a role? From what I hear, there are 2 ways - put in years of field work or get an MBA from a top school. An MBA would provide you with a complete skill set for this challenging role. You would be equally adept at putting a finance proposal or understanding and working with numbers. It would also improve your communication and problem-solving abilities. and most importantly, your cross-functional team-based projects and internships will be a stepping board.

Some top MBA programs for product management and marketing are Kelloggs, Michigan and Wharton. If you want a strong emphasis on technology as well, you should also consider Stanford, Berkeley and MIT Sloan.

One of the best articles about Product Management I've come across is this. Wikipedia as usual has some good stuff on the topic.

Life of Pi

2006-09-01T11:40:00.000-05:00

I read Life of Pi, a defining book by Yann Martel, a while ago on my trip to Yellowstone. How appropriate, considering both the book and my destination are filled with wild animals and their interaction with humans?

The story starts off with the author Yann Martel travelling all over the world to get over his writer's block, and he stumbles upon an old man in India. This man tells him he knows of a story which will make Yann "believe in God", and directs him to another man in Canada. This man is Pi Patel, or Piscine Molitor Patel. If you really want to know the reason behind the unfortunate name, you should read the book. Pi Patel then narrates an unbelievable and extraordinary adventure from his childhood.

Pi Patel is an unusual boy. He grows up in Pondichery, India. He's the son of a zookeeper, and has an encyclopedic knowledge of animal behavior. He's also seemingly touched by God, and is drawn towards Christianity and Islam in addition to his native Hinduism, from a young age. The scene where the priests from the neighborhood temple, church and mosque meet his parents and start arguing about his religious background and where he belongs is simply hilarious.

When Pi is sixteen, his family emigrates to north America along with the zoo animals. The ship flounders and he finds himself in a lifeboat with a few animals and Richard Parker. So what's the big deal, you ask? Well, Richard Parker is a 450-pound Bengal tiger! Other animals on the boat include a hyena, a orangutan and a wounded zebra. What happens aboard the boat? How did the animals react to each other and to Pi? How did Pi survive 227 days in the middle of the Pacific with a Bengal tiger for company?

If you want to get these questions answered, pick up a copy. A fantastical journey into the depths of the human mind, faith and the limits of endurance, it combines philosophy, animal behavior and the selective transformation of reality. The whole story is told in Pi's own voice, and the author approaches it like a biography or a work of non-fiction. But is this story real or is it not? Does Pi exist, or has the author cleverly manipulated you? If you think you'll find out when you finish the story, think again.

This book is funny, deeply philosophical and inspiring in equal parts. A must read.

Perippa Perimma visit

2006-08-28T15:13:00.000-05:00

I have to apologize to my dear readers (if I have any left, that is) for my inconsistent blogging habits of late. Just saw the date, and realized that its been exactly 1 month since my last post. Things have been hectic at my end. You'll be happy to know that I am about to lose my bachelor status Jan '07 (I'll save the details for another day). So the wedding plans are keeping me busy. Add to that my Fall'07 MBA application process and my marathon training (Chicago marathon - Oct 22) and you'll see why I have my plate full and I'm trying not to choke on it.

My perippa (dad's elder brother) and perimma (his wife) have come over from CA for a few days. Some random events and observations...

Saw Kamal's "Vettayadu Vilayadu" yesterday night in the Chicago area. Apparently, there was a huge screw up on friday night when the movie reel arrived late and then later got inverted or something. BTW, who uses movie reels anymore? I thought they were all DVDs or some such technology. Anyways, so they refunded everyone who stayed late on friday night. My brother-in-law was one such unfortunate soul who stayed up till 5AM to watch the movie. He passed on his unused movie tickets to me and I took my perippa and perimma for the movie on sunday night. The Tamil guy at the booth asked me if I'd been there on Friday night. Me, being the ultimate honesty-at-the-wrong-time kind of guy told him some friends had given it to me. He prompty took the tickets and told me I can't use them. They're only for people who got screwed on Friday. So I ended up shelling the 30 bucks for 3 tickets. I actually felt sorry for the guy because he'd taken a lot of abuse on friday. I entered the shittiest, dirtiest theater I've ever set foot in. And this even included the "dabba" theater in Pilani. I thought the movie was good. The violence was in a different class (think 'Seven' or 'Texas Chainsaw massacre'), but had been handled well. The movie was gritty, but got slowed own as usual by various romantic interludes and melodrama. Overall, a decent watch. My perippa though got full value for his money. Through the course of the movie, he must've tried every seat in the near-empty theater. Let me elaborate a bit... After about half an hour into the movie, he went out for a leak, came back and prompty sat 3 rows ahead of us. Perimma and I cracked up, and so did people behind us. When I went up and tried to bring him back, he said he was fine where he was :) He finally came back during the intermission. But towards the end of the movie, he went out again and did not come back for a long time. Perimma got worried and asked me to find him. We looked around and, lo behold, he was sitting in the last row. I guess this time he didn't even try to find us. It was a hilarious moment in the middle of a serious scene.

Completed my longest ever run yesterday with my ASHA practice group - 15 miles. The previous best was last year's Chicago half-marathon (13.1 mi). Had to get up at 5:45 so I can start running by 6:30. After the 3-hour run, came back to an amazing meal cooked by perimma - onion sambar, lemon rasam, seppankazhangu fry (kolakasia or something like that in English. Sorry, spelling nahi malum!), keerai (spinach), carrot salad and topped off with semia payasam (kheer). South Indians, esp Madrasis, will know what I'm talking about. After the feast, I took them to Sears tower and navy pier in downtown. Drove back home for an hour's rest before we took off for the movie - another 35 miles in a different direction. Came back around midnight and watched some family photos. finally slept at 2AM. It was probably one of the longest days of my life. So today, I can't land on my left foot I'm having a problem with stairs as well. All in all, a good workout.

I've driven 400 miles in the last 3 days showing perippa and perimma around Chicago.

They clean everything. The first day, I came back from work to find perippa in shorts and topless, cleaning the kitchen, while perimma was working on the walls. They'd already put away my clothes for laundry. The kitchen was sparkling clean, and I was taken aback to find my shower curtain spotless. I actually saw what the bottom of my cooker looked like, and there were no empty dishes lying around on the kitchen counter. The next days just got worse. Since they'd pretty much cleaned up everything, perippa took up arranging all my random receipts and bills in increazing size and stapled them. He's also been eyeing my dirty car, but I had to be firm with him and told him I can't really leave my car behind and walk to work just so he can clean it. He's also been asking for paint for my balcony fence and plywood so he can board up my garage. He buys fruits just so he can cut them neatly and arrange them on a platter. Perimma started putting my pillow covers and sheets for laundry. She also made more kozhambu and potato fry for monday's lunch. Before you start thinking I invited them over to Chicago only to clean up my place, let me assure you that they do this all in the 2-hr window when I'm not driving them around. I shudder to think what they'll accomplish in one whole day. Reminds me of that story where your wish gets granted and you get a genie who does everything you order within a few seconds, and you're tearing your hair to think of new tasks to assign.

Perippa is the kind of guys who can't stay away from sweets and snacks. But after his recent heart attack, he needs to take it easy on sweet, salt, spice and pretty much all the good things in life. so perimma's full-time job is to keep him away from all that. We were picnicking in millennium park when he made a plunge for our chips packet, and we had to drag him from the spot kicking and screaming. Well, okay, I'm exaggerating a bit. But perimma did not have an easy time keeping him at bay.

My fiancee and they are getting along famously. She's not tamilian, so they communicate in English, hand signals and giggles. She's getting a great introduction to the world of tamil brahmin culinary delights, and I think she's finally glad she's stuck with me. She already makes awesome north indian stuff. Now, all I have to do is make sure she gets the complete recipe from perimma and replicates it, and I'll be set for life.

As you can see, I'm having a ball with them. They're leaving tomorrow. Can't wait to see what else they do before that...

All-in-one Alamelu - My dream device

2006-07-28T09:44:00.000-05:00

This post is partly inspired by Chennai Living and his rant about different devices having their own proprietary charges and connectors, eventually leading to a tangle of mile-long cable that cannot be reasonably handled by any grown man (as women everywhere can attest!).

I've given a lot of thought to this as well. But I've always wanted to go one step ahead and eliminate the need for multiple palmtop devices, and integrate all their functionality into one manageable device. These days, when I go to a party or an outing, I prefer wearing cargo pants. Not because it provides more breathing space for my boys than a pair of jeans, but because it has more number of pockets. So apart from my wallet, keys and ever-present cell phone, I can also comfortably carry my video iPod, digital camera, and if necessary, the connector for the former and the charger for the latter. On long drives, I also walk out with my FM transmitter which enables me to play my iPod through my car radio system. Obviously, once I get down to my garage, I inevitably realize that I've forgotten some gadget. And it usually takes a couple of trips up and down the flight of stairs, before I am all packed for my evening and good to go. Ofcourse, I do need to wear a strong belt to keep my cargo pants in place, what with the half ton of silicon jingling in various pockets.

So let me describe here my dream gadget and what all it needs to integrate. For want of a better name, let me call it all-in-one Alamelu, or simply Alamelu for short:

#1 Alamelu will predominantly be a cell phone, with excellent voice clarity and small and easy to handle.

#2 Alamelu should also work as an organizer, preferably something like a Palm without all of its hardware problems. Needless to say it will need to have a slide-in qwerty keyboard. (For palm lovers who snicker at me, you just need to try calling my room-mate. The background noise is like a rock concert, if he happens to be standing in the vicinity of a computer or other source of EM or radio waves. Its pathetic!)

#3 Alamelu should have an integrated digi cam. Not the useless 1 mepapix cams that come with cell phones, but I need one with all the features and look and feel of my Canon SD400 (Digital Elph).

#4 Alamelu should have a built-in mp3 player. Ideally, I would like to have my video iPod integrated, with a high clarity screen to watch videos, easy to navigate menus and a 30 GB hard disk that can also be used like a flash drive.

Okay, now that we have a basic Alamelu that takes care of most problems, let's see how we could make our lives even more comfortable.

#5 I don't want to carry my wallet with all the credit cards, ATM cards, drivers' license and miscellaneous forms of ID, auto insurance, health insurance, preferred customer cards for various grocery stores and zero cash. I want alamelu to handle all this for me. Ideally, when someone wants to issue a card or some form of Id for me, they'll just give me a code that I program onto alamelu. So if I want to pay for something, they just scan Alamelu after I click on the button that let's me decide which card I would like to use. At grocery stores, I would just scan alamelu to put in my preferred customer card number and they'll stop torturing me to sign up for replcement cards. At my doctors' office or when I get pulled over by a cop (both of which seem to happen with an alarming frequency, more than I wish to care for!), I could simply flash out Alamelu, click on the button and the appropriate ID gets displayed on the screen. I should also be able to scan various coupons and use them when appropriate (they get applied automatically). If you are the sentimental type and like to carry pictures of various family members (Arumugam uncle, Ambika aunty etc.), you can scan these pictures into Alamelu as well. As you can see, I'll have no more use for my wallet anymore.

Ahh... now things are getting very very cosy. Let me see if I can make this even better.

#6 Next step would be to integrate all my keys and key cards into Alamelu. Ofcourse, this would require a change of locks in my house, car etc. But this would be a small price to pay for the convenience, for the confidence that goes with knowing that you'll never forget any key ever again. All you need to do is program Alamelu with the appropriate key code, and voila, you have a master key that opens everything. To make this secure, we can borrow the RSA Secure ID scheme that has a constantly changing code, which you combine with a 4-digit pin code that you remember. This way, you can protect yourself if you lose Alamelu. At the very least, it will atleast buy you some time while the thief tries various pin codes from 0-9999.

Excellent. Now I have my dream device. There's only one last thing left.

#7 The connector should be USB based, so I don't have to carry a cable around. It also goes without saying that Alamelu will require only one charger.

Following are some optional features that would make Alamelu even more beautiful!

#8 The scanner should have an integrated optical reader that I can use to scan books/papers and store them as text that I can read it at my leisure.

#9 A dictaphone with a great software that converts my speech to text accurately (an example), which I can later download onto Word on my laptop.

#10 Some great video games ofcourse. Would be nice if it would connect to your TV and replace all those xboxes and playstations.

Alright. Party! party! I have everything I need in the device. The high-level requirements are complete. Now, if only some genius comes with a design to actually implement the damned thing, the world would be abetter place to live in, without all the devices, connectors/cables, chargers, associated warranties etc. Any takers?

Needless to say, such a device has probably been already envisioned, a market survey done, and then the idea thrown aside as being financially unsound, since this will rob the electronic giants from making money off of their various products (in adiditon to running lock makers out of business). But it still feels good to dream about this. Of a day when I can wear any pair of jeans I want without worrying about the room and pockets to store all my gadgets, never having to worry about forgetting/misplacing my keys, having the world at my finger tips... You can already smell the flowers and feel the warm sunshine on your skin, can't you?

PS: I know some of you smart-asses are going to say "Hey, what of I lose Alamelu? I'll lose everything, and it'll be a long hard road to replacing everything!". To all you people, my reply is "harrummpppphhhh". If you cannot take care of one device, you don't deserve my Alamelu!

PPS: If any of you can think of adding more functionality to Alamelu, leave a comment. It will be added after appropriate scrutiny from ADAB (Alamelu Design and Acceptance Board).

(Updated with comments from readers about what features they would like to see in Alamelu)

#1 Remote car un/lock. (Funkaboy)
#2 Electric razor - Not anything fancy. Should be suited for quick trims of 5'o clock shadows (Funkaboy)
#3 A built-in projector - Since the screen is too small to support all the functionality we are integrating into Alamelu, we should have the option of projecting the contents on a bigger screen (Funkaboy)
#4 Since we have so much riding on all the data we pile on alamelu, this data should be automatically and wirelessly backed up regularly on remote servers. These back ups themselves should be backed up periodically ofcourse. (Dinesh)
#5 A built-in GPRS locator (can be tracked through a web-site maybe?), add a garage door opener capability (or any other remote openers for that matter) as well as instant data deactivation through a web-site (if it gets lost) (Anonymous)
#6 iPhisher feature (Hit the club, see a chick, scared to ask her #? Fear no more. Flash alamelu at her fone and get the vital stats via iPhisher :)) (~ET~)
#7 Masalaboard integrated ;)))) Must auto download new videos everyday, sort them based on size and store them on ur digi iPod! (~ET~)
#8 Lie detector :)) Think a girl's playin games wit u? Slap that alamelu shit on her wrist and get your game back on :P (~ET~)

Some advice for my brother!

2006-07-24T16:26:00.000-05:00

My dear kid brother is leaving home this week for the first time in his 24 years on Earth. Yeah okay, he's no kid! More like a 'full-grown buffalo' as we lovingly refer to such types in Tamil. And I didn't mean like 'leaving home to shop' or something like that. Ofcourse, he's been away from home on vacations and such. What I meant was that he's going to be leaving home for an extended period of time - 2 years to be exact. He's going to be in Bangalore persuing his MTech. And I for one, cannot be any happier for him. Despite the home-cooking, free laundry and zero-rent policy at home, it does pay to leave home and see the world for yourself.

And who would be better qualified than me to comment on the topic? I haven't been home for the last 11 Diwalis, or the last 11 birthdays or the last 11 New Years. After my high school, I packed my bags and left home for good. Though I had a few regrets, I was really looking forward to the freedom and fun that a college/hostel combo promises. Ofcourse, I hadn't accounted for the prolonged periods of loneliness, bouts of regret and extensive self-analysis. In the end, I believe it makes you a better person. But ofcourse, I didn't know it at the time. And though I hated it at first, the tiny little village of Pilani ended up being my home away from home, and one of my most favorite places on earth.

So this would be the right time to share my wisdom with my bro and anyone else there looking for unsolicited, utterly redundant, self-conflicting and eventually destructive advice. Since everyone believes in making lists with rounded numbers (top 10, top 25 etc.), I'm going to make this a top 11 just so I can prove I can be different and daring! So without further ado, here goes in no particular order:

#1 Make a monthly budget, and try to stick to it. I mean 'try' because its almost always impossible to stick to a budget. My take is 'budgets are meant to be broken', particularly if you have your parents to take care of your deficits. But the effort still has to be made, or atleast the associated image has to be projected.

#2 Keep a sense of personal hygiene. Shower regularly (I mean everyday) and keep your socks and innerwear clean and smell-free. You might think of this as trivial, but I can assure you its not. I can't begin to describe how many good kids got left out of groups and looked down upon because their entry into a room was preceded by the stench of their footwear.

#3 Even though you will live only a bus-ride or train-ride away from home, avoid the temptation to visit home every weekend. Weekends are when you enjoy the true bliss of a bachelor/single life. You get to mingle, make new friends and to indulge in new activities (mind what you smoke though!). But once you start going home every weekend, you'll start living your hostel life from one home visit to another, and your colleagues will always be strangers to you.

#4 Never hesitate to spend money on books and food. When you have a new book, it gives you extra motivation to actually use it just so you get some value for the money. Its called the theory of 'sunk cost'. And though its a fallacy, its still a strong psychological motivator. And about the food part, you'll be in Bangalore dammit! Its the food haven of South India. Indulge yourself!

#5 Attend class regularly. Even if your school might not have a compulsory attendance policy. Remember you're paying good money to get these professors and facilities, and make sure you use them. One thing I repent about my BITS Pilani stint is the number of classes I missed sleeping or hanging out with friends, just because the college did not have an attendance requirement.

#6 Noone can teach you if you don't want to learn. Remember that old adage "You can take a pony to the pond, but you cannot make it drink"? Its very true. You should want to learn, if your brain needs to have any chance of absorbing all the stuff that gets dished out in a regular school day.

#7 Stay fit. Take time out to work out, run, play a few sports. In the land of pubs and fast food, this is extremely important. Ofcourse, poker or carrom at home over a few beers do not exactly qualify as an active sport. Neither do wine-tasting, girl-chasing or pub-hopping.

#8 Some essential stuff you should always have in your room - A good working alarm clock that will refuse to snooze and infact increase in volume everytime you try. Emergency money that should never be used except for, well, emergency. An audio system, mp3 player, or at the very least, a walkman (there will be times when you just gotta have some music!). And ofcourse, don't forget a picture of your elder brother ;-)

#9 Have fun. This is mandatory, but most people grossly underestimate the importance of this. However hard you need to work, you still have to take time out to have fun. Indulge in your passion, get a hobby, sit around with friends and chat about random topics, go watch a movie. Whatever tickles you. But make sure you allocate some time for fun each week.

#10 Don't be scared to self-introspect. Its amazing how much you can learn about yourself when you are alone for an extended period of time. You can actually hear yourself think without your mom yelling from the kitchen that your coffee is ready or your dad calling out for help with this car or the steady stream of Sun TV soap operas your grand parents watch.

#11 And finally - Be yourself. You are a good person. I like you this way. Don't change.

Sathanur Days - Part 6: Women and special days

2006-07-13T13:12:00.000-05:00

For an introduction to this series, please start here

When I was a kid visiting my native village 'Sathanur' every summer, the house was also filled with women of all sorts - mom, aunts and family friends. The house echoed with their voices, laughters and gossips. But every so often, I used to find one of the women suddenly separate from the pack and sit by herself in a separate room. She was not allowed to cook or pray, steaming hot food would be served to her on a tray, and she could sleep all she wanted. In short, it appeared to be a dream vacation for most of them. This trend usually lasted for 3-4 days after which they would join the regular household and resume their normal lifestyle as if nothing had happened. Only to be replaced by someone else soon after.

After watching this event unfold time and again for several years, I couldn't stand the suspense any longer. So I went over to my best friend Sai's (who was also my neighbor) house and posed the question to his mom. As she tried to light up and flame her primitive stove with a a flute and let out a few coughs, she came up with an explanation. The conversation went something like this:

She: Every so often, God appears in our dreams and asks us to undertake this 3-day separation as a sort of prayer.

Me: But why doesn't God come in my dream, or for that matter, any of the men in my household.

She (with a smile): No, women are special and God appears only in womens' dreams.

Me: But Sugan (my inseparable cousin) has never mentioned anything like that. Doesn't God appear in her dream?

She: You have to be a little grown up before God starts appearing...

By now, I'm kind of satisfied with this explanation and turned my attention to the fresh coconut and jaggary combo that Sai was getting ready for me. When I went back home, I told my grandmom with a smirk that I knew her secret. When I explained to her what I had just learnt, she just smiled, patted me on my back and went on her way. For the next few days, I couldn't help thinking that God was being inherently unfair to us men. After all, wouldn't I like to have such a carefree (pardon the pun!) mini-vacation in the middle of my summer vacation? But soon after, I realized that I wouldn't be able to spend 3 days in the same spot in any case, and so pushed the thought out of my head.

Its amazing how impressionable we are as kids. That conversation with my neighbor, and the resulting image in my head of God appearing and talking to women in their dreams, stayed with me for a long long time. It was only years later that I realized what the 3-day thing was all about. My mind went back to the conversation I had had with my neighbor and realized how ingenious she had been in tackling such a sensitive issue with a hyper-curious kid. No doubt she and my grandmom would have had a good laugh over a glass of sweet lassi that evening...

Zidane Zidane everywhere!

2006-07-11T11:10:00.000-05:00

Random conversations overheard the day after the Football World Cup:

Couple of 2-year olds at a playhouse: Give me my pencil back, or else I'll headbutt you!
One motorist to another at a traffic intersection: Get out of my way. You want me to headbutt my car into yours?
Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Don't bother staying over. You're going to get neither 'head' nor 'butt' today!

Okay, maybe not all this is first-hand information. But come one, Zidane's now infamous headbutt is all anyone can talk about after the finals. Agreed, Italy did not deserve to win the finals after the way they played, just relying on their solid defence, and hardly having possession of the ball throughout. But that still does not take away from the fact that they out-slugged France fo the title. But does anybody want to talk about them? No. All we hear is how Zidane went out in disgrace and why would such a great player stoop so low and what a shame this is. And all the while, we're all smacking our lips in glee because it gives us a chance to trash a modern day great.

But think about this. What would we commoners do if we get into a fight or want to hurt someone? Use our hands, nails, legs, teeth... But what does Zidane do? He goes and headbutts the person. Well, I saw the incident. And man, what a headbutt it was! Perfectly timed and placed. Poor Materazzi did not have a chance. Why can't people just stop to admire a perfectly well-executed move instead of defiling him for it.

The other source of complaint is that Zidane wasted an opportunity to go out in a blaze of glory. I don't think so. 20 years from now, no one's even going to remember who won this World Cup. But I'm sure everyone will remember the headbutt and the man behind it. Zidane's legacy will live on as the owner of a strong head and an unsound temperament. This was the perfect way to end his career - a good conversation (some say argument!), a solid well-executed headbutt when officials are not looking, a good amount of confusion, a well-deserved redcard and then you walk out to the sound of boos and trumpets. Can retirement get better than this?

Now speculation is rife about what could Materazzi have said to provoke Zidane to go to such extreme? Did he call him a monkey? A racist? A terrorist? Lean in and let me tell you a secret "IT DOES NOT MATTER?". Whatever Materazzi could have said could not be any worse than the abuse that is routinely shelled out in European leagues. And it does not matter once bit, and does not excuse Zidane for such foul behavior.

So let's just accept this for what it is - an unsporting behavior that got the red card it deserved. And let's talk about Italy and how their fairy tale win regalvanized a nation after the corruption scandal had pervaded everything back home and noone gave them a chance.

First blog hiatus

2006-06-30T23:09:00.000-05:00

I know its been a while since my last blog. Ever since I started this blog, I've been trying to post something every 3-4 days. But somehow, that last week has just flown by, and I haven't had a moment to sit and write something up. Work has been busy, with my team lead gone and me forced to take over his responsibilities. I can't deny that its been fun and a great learning experience, but it takes a lot out of you at work. At the end of each day, you just want to come home, get a beer and chill in front of the TV.

But tomorrow, I'm heading to Yellowstone National Park. That land of the grizzlies, elks and bisons. I can't but get excited about the trip, and hope it would be a respite from the daily monotony of work and a great opportunity for me to recharge my batteries, to come back refreshed. I hope to take up the cudgel at work and at blogging when I get back. But till then, I hope you all have a great weekend and a grand 4th.

A few memories and a regret

2006-06-22T23:35:00.000-05:00

He entered the bistro, has it been really that long?
Her call had come, out of the blue and unexpected
He searched the crowd and met her eye, she waved to him
He slowly made his way towards her, at once apprehensive and excited

With handshakes and pleasantries, they took their seats
The same table in their favorite corner, by the bay
Both unsure, hesitating, wondering where to start
Were they strangers now? Have time and space had their say?

A strand of hair somehow separates itself from the impeccable french braid
With a casual flick, she puts it back in its place
The scent of her nearness overpowers his senses
And despite his efforts, he couldn't help but stare at her lovely face

The night was warm and the air was heavy
The beer was cold, and her marguerita on the way
Many things to talk about, plenty to reminisce
A million thoughts in his head, but nothing to say

As the night wound on and tentativeness eased into familiarity
The barriers broke down and they went back a few years
She talked about her children, her home and her dog
About her career, her passion and her hidden fears

And soon it was time to leave, back to their lives
They parted with a firm hug and a light kiss
As he watched her turn and waltz down the aisle
He heard himself think, how did it get to this?

Those glorious years, spent as friends and lovers
The world had been an exciting place, things to discover and forget
He had had his chance, his opportunity, and he had let it slip
Now, nothing left of it, but a few memories and a regret...

Sathanur Days - Part 5: A story about friendship

2006-06-19T16:55:00.000-05:00

For an introduction to this series, please start here

Technically, this is not part of my Sathanur experience, since this is not my story. Infact, the events in this story happened even before my dad had a shot at being born, because my grand dad hadn't met his match yet. I mean the word 'match' in all its connotatins and 'pun'notations (another of my might copyright in not too distant future words!). But this story was set in Sathanur, and hence qualifies to be a part of my Sathanur series (plus, its my blog!). Anyways, without digressing further, let me set the stage here.

When I visited India this year, my grand parents came and stayed over with us. And this gave me a chance to spend some quality time with them, and also to hear some of their Sathanur experiences. My grandpa had quite a few interesting tales to share. And when I naratted one of them to my friends Ram and Miss W yesterday, they had a laughing fit (the beer/wine and the pleasant summer evening on the balcony might have had something to do with it) and told me I should write this on my blog. Since I'm neither known as a particularly good writer or a great story-teller, I have nothing to lose. so here goes (as narrated by my grand dad)...

This happened when I was a kid, probably a teenager. I had a best friend called 'Subbu'. Although he lived in another town, we were inseparable. Once, Subbu came over and announced that he was going to visit 'Swami malai' (a temple town) to attend the village fair, and that he was planning on buying a deer for himself (a live one he could play with, not an item on a restaurant menu!). And he asked me if I would need one as well. I thought long and hard and told him I don't need a deer, but maybe he could get me a colt (baby horse) if he could find a good deal. Why I told him that, I have no idea. I did not particularly need a horse at that moment in time, nor did I know how to feed or what to do with one.

At this juncture, a brief news item about Kalaignar Karunanithi (our current Chief Minister) on Jaya TV (Jayalalitha's rival network to KK's Sun TV) seemed to distract my grand father a bit. Since KK was someone he loved to hate, he watched the short Kalaignar-bashing clip with unabashed joy. Then he digressed a little bit to tell me about the time when he was on a walk with a friend when they ran into Karunanithi by a tea stall (before he became famous). His friend apparently knew the budding politician, and Karunanithi in turn talked his friend into buying him a cup of tea. After muttering a few choice words that KK would be happy not to hear about, my grand dad turned back to me.

Anyways, so Subbu came back a few days later and told me "dei Sambu (short for Sambasivan), I bought the colt like you asked me to. When should I bring it by?". I looked at the celing, scrubbed my chin and told him "What do I do with a colt now? I don't have a place to keep it. I can't keep it in the cow shed you know. On top of that, I wouldn't know how to feed it or anything. Why don't you keep it for a little while till I get some things sorted out at my end".

Being the good friend that he is, he agreed without a murmur and left. I didn't hear about the horse for another few years till he brought it up again "dei Sambu, the colt has grown into a beautiful and healthy horse. Don't you want to take custody of it, or at the very least, see what it looks like?" To this, I replied "Now that you've taken it upon yourself to raise the horse, the animal might find it difficult to adjust to me. Why don't you keep it for the time being? I'll come by and take a look at it sometime". Again, Subbu agreed and went on his way.

It was all peace and quiet for the next few years till Subbu brought up the horsey issue again "dei Sambu, the horse is all grown up now and ready to be tethered to a vehicle. Should I bring it by?". To this, I replied "I don't have any use for a horse-driven carriage just yet. I have my hands full with all the bullock carts around the house. Why don't you do the honors yourself?". As you might have guessed, Subbu again left without so much as a whimper.

A few years passed before the subject came up again. "dei Sambu, the horse and carriage are doing great. I can't hold on to them any longer. Its time you take them. What do you say?". this time I was ready and told him "dei Subbu, I thought about it. I don't have any use for the horse/carriage. Why don't you just sell off the horse?". I expected some sort of abuse or name-calling from him, but that did not happen. Again, Subbu went on his way without a word.

At this point, my grand dad paused a bit, to enjoy the last of his filter kapi (coffee). When he was absolutely sure that not a bit remained in his stainless steel glass, he handed it over to my mom, wiped his lips, cleared his throat and continued with his narration.

I thought I'd heard the last of the horse episode and went on with my life. But apparently not. A few months later, Subbu visited me and handed over a bag. Inside was some cash, 400 Rupees to be exact. Subbu simply told me "dei Sambu, this is the money I got from selling off your horse. Hope you find this reasonable".

I was absolutely stunned. I couldn't even begin to comprehend the fact that he was giving me the money that he had earned by putting in his time and effort into raising the horse over several years. His selflessness touched me. I pointed out the obvious to him "dei Subbu, it was you who bought the horse. It was you who fed and raised and took such good care of it. It was you who bought the carriage and rode it. The horse belongs to you, and this is your money". Subbu thought about it a little bit more, and agreed reluctantly to keep the money.

So Karthik, this is what friendship is all about. There are friends, and then there are friends. And there was none better than Subbu. We would do anything for each other unconditionally and unselfishly, without a question.

My grand mom had joined us midway through the tale. And when he finished up the story, I could see both their eyes clouding as they remembered their dear friend, now long dead and cremated.

India in WI - Oh no, not again!

2006-06-15T13:15:00.000-05:00

I hate it when the Indian cricket team tours the West Indies . Seriously, I hate it. And when I'm at it, let me also add that I hate the rain, Chanderpaul and Lara. What is it with our West Indian tours? Its always one thing thing or the other. Just rewind back a little and think about how many sure-win matches have been snatched away from our grasps. Ofcourse, some of them are of our own making. The game under Sachin's captaincy, when Indian could not get a 100 odd runs and threw away a game they should have won, comes to mind.

But I thought this current tour would present India with the best opportunity to put a West Indies series win under their collective belts. After all, West Indies is not the team it once was. Not even close. They were just coming off of a pay dispute over their board. They had quite a few untested youngsters. Their pace attack is like watching Ramesh Krishnan playing in slow motion. And Lara would be a senior citizen in most countries. Okay, that last statement was an exaggeration, I agree. But at 38, he's not getting any younger.

Ofcourse, India too have their problems, chief among which is the fact that Sachin, the greatest, is not part of the team. Still, we do boast of quite a few talented youngsters, who have been tested in the one-day arena and came up trumps. I, like most people, thought this would be a cake walk. That India would run all over the Windies, and then some more. That it'll be such a David-Goliath mismatch that they would have to stop it mid-series on humanitarian grounds. But no, the famous India suck in the Windies syndrome has reared its ugly head once again.

After losing the one-day series miserably, and then letting WI take a huge lead in the first test, I thought India had lost its mojo. Then came Jaffer's double ton followed by a superb bowling performance. It finally came down to whether India could remove the last three WI wickets in something like 17 overs on the last day. I was at work, following cricinfo text commentary and biting my nails. Lets just say that productivity was not on the top of my list right then. Then it boiled down to getting the last wicket in 3 overs. And ofcourse, India couldn't do it. WI celebrated like they'd won the game. I heard reports that Dravid came out smiling. I do admit I like him a lot. But right that moment, I could've socked him in the jaw. Sometimes, you have to be a street fighter rather than a gentleman.

The second test was even more heart-breaking. India did everything right, including 3 centuries and getting WI to follow on. With WI needing to bat the entire last 2 days to save the game, we were ready to get our champagne bottles out (Not me, it was still a working day!). And then, what happens? It f@#$in rains, that's what happens. It rains cats and dogs and the fourth day's play is called off. Just when we thought no play is going to be possible on the final day, their groundsmen do a splendid job (looks like the WI board does not have enough money to bribe them!). So again, we need to get 9 WI wickets on the last day. And then Lara along with Chanderpaul, that perennial thorn in the Indian flesh, come to spoil the party. By the time, we get them, its too late. And the Windies scrape their way to another draw, this time by 3 wickets.

I'm only thankful for one thing - that I did not sign up for the live streaming package. Once I'd bitten my finger nails off, and then my toe nails with some effort, I would've gone skydiving without a parachute. What can we expect from the next 2 games? Can India pull it off from here? Will fate, weather, Lara and a million other factors again conspire to deprive this valiant Indian team of a well-deserved series victory? Who knows? Let's just wait and watch. In the meantime, I've taken to actually working at the office, in hopes that this would somehow be less stressful for my heart.

The man who never cried...

2006-06-13T00:39:00.000-05:00

He never cried. That was how people remembered him. He was tired of everyone stereotyping him that way. He was considered strong. A rock. Immovable. A shoulder for everyone to cry on. A God send. He was not supposed to have any emotions. And even if he did, he did not have the right to express them. Everyone else could have his or her moment. But no, not him. After all, he's never been capable of it. Never felt the need to. Did he even have any emotions? Who cares?

All his life, he had been labelled thus. His parents passed away when he was an infant. Even now, as an adult, people come up to him and tell him "If only your parents were alive, they would be so proud of you". And he would shrug, give them a sad smile and tell them "That was a long time ago". "Do you remember them?". "Well, not a lot. As I said, that was a long time ago". What use was it. What was the point of telling them "Yes, I remember my father and mother. I wish they were still with me". Would it solve anything?

He was not always like this. As a child, he used to throw tantrums and cry incessantly. At the slightest provocation, his eyes would cloud, and his tap would open. Tears would start rolling out, and he would cry. He would cry as if there were no tomorrow. People thought it was a way for him to vent his feelings. After all, hadn't he lost his mother when he needed her most?

But as he grew up and learnt the ways of the world, something inside him turned cold. It ceased to exist. Nothing touched him anymore. He could take the most tragic news without so much as a blink of an eye. Happy news deserved even less attention. People thought he had grown up. He had become a man. Men do not cry. They do not express their feelings or emotions. They were supposed to be dependable. A rock for others to sit and rest on, as they needed a respite from their daily lives. He didn't mind it. He liked being there for everyone around him. If people found him strong and dependable, then so be it. After all, their problems and hurt did not affect him one little bit. He could stay aloof, and therein provide the comfort they sought. And so he thought.

He was always available. And always willing to listen. People would come to him and gossip. Opposing parties would come to him and vent their feelings. He was supposed to be everyone's confidante. Someone who would never break his code of silence, and let their secrets out. He would patiently hear them out, give a smile and an understanding nod, and reassure them. In his life, he charted his own path. He had never depended on anyone or anything other than his own abilities and talent. But he could recognize the weaknesses in everyone around him. He would never look down upon them, but he could somehow understand them. He never judged. He never ever judged. Some people called him indifferent, others non-committal. He could see the ugly side in everyone, but he chose to see the good side. No one chose to be bad. That was his philosophy in life. That's probably why he never spoke bad of anyone. Never ever held a grudge. He realized that, for the most part, all that they needed was someone to talk to. And he could be that someone. Whether he liked it or not, he was that someone.

It was a glorious summer evening. He had just finished his run along the beach. He did not run to keep fit or have an athlete's body. He ran because he loved to run. His thought process was simple. Uncomplicated. As he sat there by the ocean, watching the brilliant horizon respite with glorious shades that no artist would ever manage to capture, he looked around him. There were kids playing in the sand, with proud parents watching. Waiting to pick up their children when they fell, as children usually do. He saw a couple walking, hand in hand, complete in the company of each other. He saw a couple arguing, the woman crying, and the man helpless. He saw a mother breast-feeding her newborn. He saw the waves, incessant, inevitable and infinite. Repeating their routine - coming ashore and receding, coming ashore and receding. As they have been doing for eons, before man was a form of fish in the oceans of the world.

And then it happened. Something inside him gave way. Tears welled up in his eyes, and started streaking down his cheeks. He did not make an attempt to halt the tide, or hide them from curious onlookers. He did not care that children were pointing him out to their parents. That the happy couple and the sad couple were gawking at him. It seemed completely natural. Long due. He did not move. As the sun slowly descended on the horizon, in a blaze of fire and orange and a billion colors in between, he sat there with his hands by his side. And he cried.

Fanaa

2006-06-10T13:35:00.000-05:00

There is a scene in Fanaa when Aamir and Kajol finally express their love and hug each other. The camera zooms out gracefully, and you sit there mesmerized as both these actors display completely contrasting emotions effortlessly, in line with their characters. They take you into their minds and share their secrets with you. That's when you realize just how good these two are. The intensity of their feelings, and the actors' ability to emote them effortlessly, just overpower you.

I went for Fanaa on a friday night at an AMC 30 near where I live. Luckily, I listened to Miss W and we reached the theater around 20 mins early and found ourselves comfortable seats. As it got close to showtime, people just kept streaming in, and very soon there was not a seat to spare. So they opened the neighboring movie hall for an unscheduled screening (it was a multiplex) to accomodate the extra crowd. I couldn't believe it. A foreign movie that has a regular 3-4 shows everyday at a suburbian theater in the Midwest is still running housefull after a week.

The movie was pretty good, without bordering on the brilliant. The first half is fast and enjoyable, with its talented cast and dialogues, great locales captured timelessly by Ravichandran's photography, and some catchy music. Its the usual stuff though - boy meets girl, boy charms girl, boy and girl fall in love and then the boy has a dark other side. We start seeing glimpses of what's in store later - patriotism/nationalism (with Aamir in the movie, can this be far behind?), love or country type of thing. By intermission, the movie has gained substantial momentum and you see a lot of potential in the storyline, and can't wait to find out how its going to span out. Unfortunately, the second half never manages to get going, and the movie itself draws to an predictable and inevitable end. I don't want to play spoilsport and discuss the story here though.

I read somewhere that the scenes involving Aamir and Kajol are too heavy, because both these actors bring a lot of intensity. I did not have a problem with this, and infact, quite enjoyed them pitting their substantial acting skills aginst each other. Kajol looks younger and more ravishing than you last saw her, and its hard to believe that she's been away for a while. She pretty much carries the movie. Aamir, on the other hand, has started showing his age, but still charms his way through romantic scenes. Apparently, the Kashmir parts of the movie were shot in Poland (because of unrest in Kashmir). Ravichandran's photography and visuals are breath-taking and linger long after you leave the theater.

The scenes when Aamir courts Kajol with his non-stop stream of Urdu Shayaris are some of the best in the movie. But then I thought to myself "These dohas/shayaris are a scam. Even I can write 2 related lines in Hindi and repeat each line twice...". So after much thought and effort, here's what I came up with:

Pyaar to hona hi tha...
Pyaaaaaaarrr (with stress) tho hona hi thaaa...
chaddi tho dhona hi tha...

(For those unfortunate souls who lack the kind of mastery that I have over Hindi/Urdu, this is how it roughly translates "Love had to happen... Underwear needed to be washed...")

Thank you! thank you! thank you! All contributions can be sent to me via Paypal :-)

Bottomline: The movie is definitely worth a watch, especially if you are a fan of Aamir or Kajol, or like me, both. Just make sure you don't set your expectations sky-high before you go.

Disclaimer: The author refuses to assume any moral responsibility or honor any refund requests, if this post convinced you to watch the movie, and you did not end up liking it...

BITS and pieces - reservation comes to Pilani

2006-06-07T11:33:00.000-05:00

After years of resisting Government interference. by avoiding UGC grants and federal funding and being supported primarily by the Birla group, BITS Pilani finally got bullied into the reservation mess by Arjun Singh and his goons. Rashmi Bansal summarizes this fiasco in her aptly titled post Another one BITS the dust?

On May 29, the very day the Supreme Court observed that quotas can divide the nation and asked the Government to explain its rationale behind the 27% OBC quotas, HRD Minister Arjun Singh further tightened the quota screws on the higher-education sector, both public and private.

In a note prepared that day for the Cabinet, his Ministry has proposed a legislation with provisions that give the Government unprecedented power not only to impose quotas in over 100 “deemed universities” over and above 32 Central institutions but also to regulate their fees, selection procedure—and even take punitive action.

So not just IITs, IIMs and AIIMS, the institutions which are brought into the 27% OBC quota net include Birla Institute of Technology and Science, Pilani; Manipal Academy of Higher Education; Pune’s Symbiosis International Education Centre and the Tata Institute of Social Sciences.

We BITSians have always been fiercely proud of ourselves. We knew BITS Pilani could have had better libraries, labs and furniture if only we went begging to UGC for funding. But we realized that this would come with strings attached like reservations, entrance exam mandates and such. And we decided we would rather have the best students than the best facilities. We were secure in the knowledge that only the creme de la creme of India would qualify to be our classmates and competitors at BITS. We were admired when we graduated, and the BITS brand name was second only to the IITs in India.

Well, say goodbye to the perfect world, because politicians like Arjun Singh have decided to dishonor the sanctity of private and elite universities and bring them all under Government control. I have no idea how the Government can suddenly manipulate the constitution so they can exercise control over institutes like BITS. What's next? Can these so-called OBCs have job reservation quotas in Reliance, Infosys and Wipro once they graduate from BITS and IITs through their reservation quotas?

Don't get me wrong. I believe that India has to have some kind of affirmative action in place to accelerate the development of those who have been left woefully behind in our society. But such over-arching and generic reservation schemes will only do more harm than good - they will further divide our society on the basis of class and cause resentment and hostility between them. More thought should go behind such schemes, and reservation should be done more along economic lines rather than just based on class. The push should come at the primary school level, so that these backward classes will have come up to par and ready to compete on equal terms with everyone else when they are ready to enter college.

Much has been said against this reservation scheme by the public, regular media and bloggers alike. But we all know how this is going to end. Even when all this was going on, I did not for a minute stop and think that my BITS Pilani would be subject to this disgrace. For we've always stood away from the rest of the pack and made our own path. We've always prided ourselves for our independence and freedom from Government-imposed quotas and restrictions. All that has been felled in one swoop. And for what?

I'm glad I graduated from BITS Pilani when I did, secure in the knowledge that I rubbed shoulders with the best India had to offer. It pains me to see that this might not be true anymore. Yes, Arjun Singh and company will leave a legacy behind. A legacy that will be India's bane. A legacy that will leave many a broken heart and shattered dream in its wake.

PS: If I have any BITSian readers, I would love to hear from you. This post will be updated with your comments.

Sathanur Days - Part 4: The Bajaj M80 mishap

2006-06-04T12:56:00.000-05:00

For an introduction to this series, please start here

There comes a time in every boy's life, as he moves into the early stages of teenage-ism (can I copyright this word?), when he simply must move on from riding rusted Hero and BSA SLR bicycles to experiencing something more powerful - even if its just a mofa, a moped or Bajaj Chetak. So it was with me during that summer in Sathanur. I had just started secretly taking my dad's scooter for local rounds when he was not around, and was drunk on the high that you get when you can travel at 30 kmph without any physical effort. All you had to do is just tweak a handle, and feel the wind in your hair.

When I saw the second-hand Bajaj M80 that my grand dad had recently acquired, I knew I had to ride it. It was a thing of beauty and and a play in contradictions - cream with a splash of red, neither a scooter (not enough power) nor a moped (it had gears, you see!), neither a young boy's ride nor an old man's trusted friend, neither meant for city roads nor for village potholes (okay, I'll stop)... But I didn't care. All I knew was I had to get my hands on it! So when it was time to pick up my mom from her parents' place in Thiruvalangadu, a neighboring village to Sathanur (about 3 kms away), I gathered enough guts to ask my grand dad whether I could take the M80 alone and pick her up. My grand dad gave me a patient hearing and then told me that I was too young for it. Sensing a window of opportunity here (since I wasn't laughed at and ignored), I argued, pleaded and cried till he agreed to let me have my way.

That was the moment I had been waiting for. I got on the M80, stepped on the gas and sped away. I whizzed past my friends' houses hoping someone would notice me and go green with envy. After a bit of detour to prolong the joyride, I finally got on the only tar road that connected the 2 villages. The 3 km journey was a pleasure, and I worked the vehicle for all its worth. Very soon, I reached my destination, and walked into the house with a new-found gait. When my mom saw me there alone and the M80 at the gate, she managed to hide her shock pretty well. After saying our good byes, we started our journey back to Sathanur. I couldn't wait to show off my riding abilities to her.

We had just gone to the next street when I noticed a group of kids playing by the side of the road. They had seen me coming pretty fast and stayed out of my way, so I didn't bother to slow down or honk. Just when I was 2 inches from completely going past them, this one kid decided that he had to be on the other side of the road at the exact same moment. I'm not sure what made him do this, but he just took off like a prize horse out of the starting blocks. All I saw was a flash as he started running across the road right in front of me. For all I know, they might as well be handing out free passes for the latest Rajnikanth movie on this side of the road. Let me tell you something about M80 brakes - first you are scared if they'll work on time, and then you realize they do not exist! I was trying to frantically jam on the brakes and to downshift at the same moment, but there was no time and I had knocked the kid down. But more tragically, his shirt collar got stuck in my foot pedal, and I ended up dragging him on the road a good 20 ft till the M80 ground to a reluctant halt.

I was shell-shocked for a while and just sat on my vehicle staring stupidly at the kid now lying at my feet with a big gash on his forhead (I come from a long line of men who are not exactly at their best in an emergency situation!). Eventually, I got my bearings and turned around to check on my mom, but there was no one on the back seat. Just when I was wondering whether she had decided to ditch me in my hour of need and flee the spot, I noticed her sitting on the road, exactly where I had first jammed on the brakes. Apparently, the kid was not the only one I had knocked down.

By this time, a crowd had gathered there. They shoved me to a nearby house and surrounded me, while someone tried to treat the boy. As more people joined the party, I sensed a little bit of hostility in the air and it slowly started to dawn on me. There was no law or police men in these parts, and these charged up villagers were going to beat me to an inch of my life. I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable. Just then, a passer by recognized me as "Sathanur Sambasiva Iyer's grandson" and came to my rescue. He negotiated with the 'leader' of the crowd and offered to pay the kid for his inconvenience and treatment. Somehow they arrived at a round amount of 100 rupees (a substantial sum in those day), and my mom hurried back to her parents' place to bring the booty and deposit it with the crowd 'leader'. And just like that, I was off the hook and free to go. I thanked my savior, but asked him not to mention this to my grand dad. He looked at me weirdly and went on his way. I got back home with my mom (who had to tend to her bruises). As I locked up the M80 and went in, I did not utter a word to my grand dad. As you might have guessed, I did not start the vehicle again for the rest of my vacation.

A few days later, in the middle of a TV show, my grand dad turned to me and asked me with a smile "So did you like the M80 brakes?"

A trip to the Great Smokies

2006-06-01T11:14:00.000-05:00

Just got back from my long weekend trip to the Smoky mountains, after a much needed R & R. The place is just picture perfect with endless mountains, lush green forests, and little creeks and big waterfalls hiding at the most unexpected places, waiting to be discovered. The Smoky Mountains National Park is located near the border of Tennessee and North Carolina, a10-12 hr drive from Chicago. Might sound a little bit far just to see a few mountains, but let me assure you that its completely worth it, and more. In fact, this was my second trip to the place.

We managed to get in some white water rafting on the Upper Pigeon river, which has around 70 rapids, including four Class 4 rapids. For the uninitiated, rapids in whiter water rafting are classified according to their difficulty level (based on a bunch of factors like water level, velocity, type of current etc.) and Class 4 is as good as it gets for amateurs. I've done this before in West Virginia, Colorado, and ofcourse, the Smokies. So I could probably call myself an 'experienced' rafter now. More than the thrill, I enjoyed the breath-taking scenery along the way.

The Abrams falls hiking trail in Cades Cove is probably the most popular and touristy hiking trail in Smokies. So ofcourse we had to do it. Its a 5 mile round trip and can be challenging if you're not prepared. The best part is at the end of the trail when you encounter the breath-taking, you guessed it right, Abrams falls. While everyone was just enjoying the falls from afar and taking pictures and such, we decided to venture in and take a mind-numbing brain-freezing shower under the falls. We also drove up to Clingmans Dome, the highest point in the Smokies to watch the sunset. As the Sun falls beyond the horizon, the layers of mountains turn a brilliant blue, giving them the name Blue Mountains.

I've decided that desis are the most boisterous travellers anywhere, beating out camera-toting Japanese, noisy drunken English and Irish men and a variety of other stereotypes. Everywhere I went, desis easily outnumbered the natives. But the problem is we always seem to travel in a 10-15 strong group. And when we're in a group, our collective desibel level increases exponentially. When we were standing in the observation tower on top of Clingmans Dome, waiting for the sunset, immersing in the beauty of the surrounding mountains and enjoying the hushed silence, there showed up a huge Gujarati gang that must have numbered around 12+ with an equal men/women ratio. They started chattering very loudly in a mix of Gujju, Hindi and some sort of accented English I couldn't quite place. And the whole scene was reduced from being a celebration of nature to Dandiya Raaz night. I wouldn't have been very surprised if they had brought out a boom box, formed a circle and started spanking each other with dandiya sticks. I really felt sorry for the other travellers. What would have been their fondest memory of their vacation was quickly turning out to be their worst nightmare.

Lest people think I'm anti-Hindi, anti-North India or something like that, I have bigger grudges against some of the Tamil gangs that showed up everywhere we went. Whether we ventured to shower in the falls or moved to a lonely rock in the wading pool to lie down, they seemed to be following us everywhere, and crowded around us. The men were dressed in jeans and pants and full hand shirts. They must've gotten up that morning with intentions of going to work, then changed their minds and decided to do the Abrams falls hiking trail instead. The women did not fare much better either. Let me reiterate this here - pink pajamas DO NOT suit south Indian women. And no, its NOT cute either if you're out of your teens.

I know I sound like a snob here, which is really not my intention. I'm sure I've been obnoxious before when I went with my gang, talked noisily in Tamil at public places and generally did not give a damn what other travellers/vacationers thought. But when I see it now from the point of view of a dispassionate observer/traveller, I don't feel so proud of our travelling etiquettes. I think there should be a limit on the maximum number of people allowed to travel in a desi group, especially Tamil, Golt and Gujjus. Maybe one day in the distant future, our men will not come rafting with sneakers and socks, our women will let go of pink pajamas and our hordes of travelling gangs might actually try to be more considerate of other travellers.

Kudos to a friend

2006-05-30T15:26:00.000-05:00

My good friend Gokul recently volunteered on a one-week Katrina debris removal project through Habitat for Humanity. Here's his brief account of the things he experienced and the people he met.

On the last day, on our way back to camp, before disembarking, our bus-driver spoke with a heavy voice puctuated by southern accent "Y'all dont know me"...he paused..."But God bless you for what y'all are doing". A brief moment of silence ensued and then the whole bus burst into applause. There was no demeaning thanks or words of praise. Just simple heart-felt appreciation for being there and doing it. For me, that was the defining moment of the whole camp.

For a quintessential lazy nerd who does not believe in physical exertion, he has really taken the effort and made a difference. I found it touching and inspiring, and for once, I'm actually going to say "I'm proud of you, my boy!" without meaning to be sarcastic.

Freedom of speech? Shut up!

2006-05-26T10:36:00.000-05:00

I usually refrain from making political comments on this blog. But I've been watching, these last few weeks, my India degenerate from a proud democracy (individual freedom, political freedom and economic freedom. Remember?) to a bumbling novice that's turning out to be a haven for religous and political groups. Well, I shouldn't say that this has happened only over the last few weeks. 'Freedom of Speech' has always been taken with a pinch of salt in India. We were one of the first countries to ban Salman Rushdie's Satanic verses. And let's not even go into those dark days when Indira Gandhi declared emergency to prevent court conviction and treated India like her personal trampoline.

More specifically, I've been disturbed at the plight of 2 completely different movies that have suffered at the hands of the Indian government and been banned in parts of India for completely different reasons. First up was the Da Vinci Code that was promptly banned from releasing anywhere in India, following protests from Catholic groups that the movie undermines their faith (If a 2000 year old faith feels threatened by a pop-fiction book and movie, it makes me sad). This, when other predominantly Catholic countries in the Americas and Europe cannot even dream of this. I agree that when we talk about India being a secular country, we swear to recognize and respect all religions. But does this come at the cost of freedom of speech and media? What's next? In our bid to be a secular state, we always bend over backwards to accomodate all kinds of religious groups and fanatics. What we're doing here is setting a dangerous precedent for future protests by various religious groups along the same lines. Why else do you think Muslim groups have sided with the ban? And ofcourse, we can always rely on our saffron brigade (VHP etc.) to come up with innovative reasons for protests/srikes/bans. I think once we go down this path of appeasing various religious groups, there is no turning back. Its a vicious cycle that will suck us into a maze of precedents and accusations of favoritism. These are certainly good times for religious fanatics in India.

Closely following in the footsteps of Da Vinci Code is the decision by the Gujarat government to ban Aamir Khan's much-awaited movie 'Fanaa' in all multplexes in the state. This comes after violent protests all over Gujarat, following Aamir's comments against Chief Minister Narendra Modi and his government. I recently read a blog aptly titled Aaj Ki Goonda Raj that complains about this kind of subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) pseudo-dictatorship that goes on all the time in India. So now we're not even allowed to criticize our democratically-elected leaders and their policies (it doesn't matter if its Aamir or me)? I remember an incident a while ago when our Tamil Nadu Chief Minister Jayalalitha had a few top people from the respected Hindu newspaper arrested for having the balls to question her government.

So what do we do now? Stand by and watch while our freedom of speech and expression gets completely snatched away from us and leaves us naked to suffer the whims and fancies of religious parties, vengeful politicians and the fickle-minded voting public? It might already be too late to stop this rot. I don't have a simple solution, and I suspect, neither do you. But its heart-breaking to see this happening to my country, so I rant and rave here.

Disclaimer: I'm deeply sorry if anything I've said in this article hurts your religious or political sentiments. I'm ignorant, but mean well.